1) One Bihari To Another
Pakki Sadak Lagne Lage Kacchi
Jab Padosi Ki Biwi Lage Acchi
2) A student says to God:
Mushkil mein jab mein hota hoon
Toh naam leta hoon tera
Kyuu meri maa leta hain?
Baap hain naa mera!!
3) A Man says to another man who is carrying Ipad:
Ipad Leke Ghoomta Hain Aaj Kal
Toh Samajhna Naa Khudko Hero
Shakl Ho Jayegi Jaise Fati Chappal
Jab Bank Balance Hoga Zero
4) One brother says to another:
Etni Biwiyan Leke Ghoomta Hain
Ohh Devki Nandan
Maza(Anand) Leti Hain Aapse
Aur Humse Raksha Bandhan
5) A desperate guy says to god:
Cigarette Nahi Toh
Bidi Bhi Chalegi
Ladki Nahi Toh
Lady Bhi Chalegi
6) A man tired of Raksha Bandhan says:
Naa mein hindu
Naa musalmaan
Naa sikh Naa isai
Aur naa hoo main kisi ladki ka bhai
7) A man having an affair with a Tamilian says:
Piyaar Jyada Na Do
Toh Do Thoda
Shaadi Mujhse se karlo
Apne pati ko kaho PODA
8) A Pathan whispers to a school boy:
Nadha Tight Band Le
Na Jaana Akele School
Dil tujh pe agaya hain
Ab tujhe le Jaunga KABUL
9) A man says to his wife commenting upon their son:
Bad Luck se Hota Hai
Har Aadmi Majboor
Beech Boya Aam Ka
Aur Nikala Khajoor
10) Shopkeeper to a person having an affair with his Sis In Law:
Do Boond Chlorofrom Ke
Aur Aise So Jayegi Biwi
Leke Jaana Phir Saali Ko
Simla, Kullu aur Manali
11) Indian ascetic to Alexander the Great:
Ohh Sikander
Tera Raaj Hain Aisa
Ki Bandar Khaye Angoor
Aur Anpad Kamaye Paisa
12) A frustrated servant to his owner:
Meri Baat Maan Tu
Mein Kya Anpad Hu?
Apni Aukad Jaan Tu
Mein Tere Bacche Ka Baap Hu
13) A drunkard at a bar
Daru peene se liver kharab ho jata hain
Dava peene se bheja kharab ho jata hain
Par jab dil tooth ta hain toh jeena haram ho jaata hain
14) A girl to a guy who is always proposing her
Suicide Suicide Kehta Hain
Abey Kabhi Toh Fande Se Latak
Mere Har Saheli Se Yehi Kehta Hain
Abey Bandh Kar Tera Natak
15) A man to a another guy who recently got married
Bin Barsaat Ke Naach Mat
Ohh Rang Birangi Mor
Eeth Leke Marunga A
Aur Naa Karega Koi Shor
16) Chuuttan Ki Maa
Ohh Chuttan Ki Maa
Zara Paas Toh Aaa
Paas Aake
Ek Sweet Sa Gaana Ga
Gaana Nahi Aaata
Toh Muskuraa
Woh Bhi Nahi Aaata
Toh Phookat Ka Khana Kha
Par please Mujhe etna mat pakaa
17) A Hindu thinking about his Muslim Neighbor
Arre Suleiman meri jaan
Bas Ek Din Jaane De
Apni Beti Ko Bina Burkha Pehne
Karde ees kaafir par ek ehsaan
18) To Rangeela From a Parsi Gentleman
Arre Rangeela
Dekhke Mujhe Akela
Tune Sunaye Ek Ganna
Laga Mujha Sureela
Par Hua Mera Screw Dheela
19) Man suspecting his wife is having an affair with the domestic help
Kaise bharosa rakhu duniya par
Jab biwi ho aisi
Bache ko naam du mein
Aur uski shakal naukar jaisi
20) A man telling another that man the current girlfriend that he is having was his ex
Kamal Ki Ladki
Lagi Tere Haath
Trailer Mere Saath
Aur picture tere saath
21) A man bored of another man's preaching
Bandh Kar Apne Life Ka Funda
Funda Sunke Ho Gaya Mera Badan Thanda
Aur aisa nigala tune mera bheja
Jaise Nigale Saap Murgi Ka Anda
22) A person waiting for his beloved
Doob doob ke tere pyar mein
Poora doob gaya mein
Rukh rukh ke tere liye
Buddha bangaya mein
23) A boss who broke off with his wife to marry his secretary
Marke Mere Dil Pe Pyar Ka Arrow
Deke Mere Biwi Ko Judai Ka Sorrow
Roj Jab Shaadi Kab Karogi Puchta Hu Toh
Bolti Hain Tommorrow Tommorrow Tommorrow
24) A man to his wife on a romantic night
Kaali Kaali Si Hain Raat
Ho Rahi Hain Barsaat
Chal Bhag Kitchen Mein Saali
Bana Samosa Chaat
25) A software engineer singing
Mujhe Apna Kaam Deta Hain
Mera Inaam Cheen Ke Leta Hain
Mujhe Bade Dukh Deta Hain
Ya Khuda Tu Kya Boss Sabhi Ko Deta Hain
26) A girl confessing to a boy about her love
Tu Aisa Basa Hain
Mere Dil Ke Andar
Jaise Jamun Ke Ped Par
Relaxed Baitha Hain Koi Bandar
27) A man introducing a singer
Sonu Nigamji aise singer hain jo
Ek to aate nahin hain
Aate hain to jaate nahin hain
Par bina feelings ke gaate nahin hain
28) A man to another
Bada shaktishali hain tu
Badi pahuch hain teri
Joh tu kuch kahe toh waat lag jaye meri
Kitni kaali hain zabaan teri
29) A man to his wife
Kitni sundar hain tu
Jaise koi gudiya hain tu
Par zabaan mat khol
Varna mirchi ki pudiya hain tu
30) A Man to his girlfriend
Chanda jaise muk pe
Aankeh jaise tare
Dekh ke tera thobda
Chamkeh merey sitare
31) A poet writes about Apsaras
Rambha urvasi menaka
Hain yeh har dev ki priya
Swarg ki yeh apsara
Jeese paas bulaye woh gaya
Pagal ho gaya yaa aids se mara
32) A man about his boss
Arre boss meri leta hain
Bahut kaam deta hain
Mahina bhar khooon chusta hain
Ya mera khoon etna sasta hain
Ki salary ki bajay celery deta hain
33) A storyteller says
Jab Mein Sunata Hoon Meri Jubani Teri Kahani
Log Itne Khush Hote Hain
Jitni Khush Hoti Hain
Saas Ke Maut Par Bahu Rani
34) A man tells to his wife
Tere chehre ko dekhe ke loot gaya main
Kisi Bahyanak Sapnay Se Jaise Uth Gaya Mein
Masale Ki Jagah Kut Gaya mein
Pathar Se Tel Nikalne mein Juth gaya mein
35) A man tells his girlfriend
Yeh Shaam Hain Suhaani
Inkar karke na kar murder
Merey dilka meri Rani
Main Hoon Tera Bajirao , Tu Meri Mastaani
36) A fat man collapses after seeing the hotel bill
Dekhte hi gir gaya table pe
Jab dekha usne dinner ka bill
Tab pata chala hume
Ki sand ki body mein tha mendak ka dill
37) The marriage
Yeh pagal ho gaya
Woh pagal ho gayi
Donon bore ho gaye
Shaadi purani ho gayi
38) Birthday!!
Janamdin mubarakhon , mubarakhon kehte hain
Kitni jaahil si baat hain
Abe maut ki taraf badh rahan hoon
Yeh kya khushi ki baat hain
39) Balding man says
Thode udh gaye
Thode safed ho gaye
Baki ghaas ki tarah khade rahte hain
Yeh mere baal hain
Mere takle ka yeh haal hain
Ki mundi jhukau
Toh koi talwar ki dhaal hain
Yeh mere baal hain
Yeh mere baal hain
40) one roommate to another who is taking long baths
Qayamat ki ghadi aa gayi hain
Duniya se ruksaat hone ka time aana hain
Khul Rahein Hain Jahanoon Ke Darwaze
Bahar Nikal Baba, Muzhe bathroom jaana hain
41) About a harrassed husband
Hosiyar Baccha
Jaahil Biwi
Fas Gaya Pati
Ab Dekhe Bas TV
42) Life mein RIKS:
Riks Lene Par Doston
Kuch Naya Jaroor Ho Jata Hain
Par Yaad Rakho Bhaiyon
Thaarrane Wale Mendak Ko
Kabhi sakhi milti hain
Toh Kabhi use saap kha jaata hain
43) Bechare Pati ne tang aakar patni ka insalute kiya:
Lucky hain woh jinki shaadi hui
Kisi chudail se
Humari ho gayee
Kisike rakhel se
44) A man tells his friend to forget about her ex
Joh Chodh Ke Chala Gaya
Jeete Ho Uske Hokar
Hum Joh Pooja Karta Hain
Bas Milti Hain Tumhari Thokar
45) A lament
Peechle janam ke paapon ka
Ees janam kya naata
Etna mujhe bata de data
Jholi bhar dee khushiyon se unki
Humri jeb khali
Aur kehta hain aake mandar mein mein bajua taali
46) A dumped lover says:
Samajh Naa Aayi Mujhe Yeh Baat
Soch Rahan Tha Main Poori Raat
Aisa Kya Kiya Maine Joh
Gayee dump karke mujhko woh
47) A bachelor:
dekhke tujhko
saans meri atke
khoon ubhle
man umat kar
fefde mein machle
kab tak bachelor banne
hum rahein latke
aaja bahon mein aakar
thode dikha
pyar ke jhatke
48) A man polishing shoes says:
Company ko hua loss
Toh Pagal hua Boss
Boss ne kiya Toss
Heads thi humari sundar co worker
Tails tha main
Aur Kahan Boss Ne Muskurake
Joh aaye heads toh woh ruke
Aur Tails aye toh mera patta kate
Aaaya Head
Woh reh gayi boss ki hoke
Aur mein kar rahan hoon polish jute
49) About Marriage:
Kaju Badam Piste Se Bhara
Lagata Hain Marriage Ka Rasta
Par Yaad Rakhana Merey Doston
Yeh Safar Nahin Hain Sasta
50) A fanatic person says:
Khana Kyu Nahin Khati
Kiss Baat Par Hain Tu Hair
Kaafir Ki Maut Par
Kyu Jaan Pareshan
51) Praising a girl
Aisi Kamal Ki Cheez Hain Tu
Aisi Zalim Cheez Hain Tu
Bakre Ke Naseeb Ki Bakri Eid Hain Tu
52) A man laments about his fate
Noorani Chehre Par Sehraa Kyun
Eid Ke Chand Par Pehraa Kyun
Chorus Mein Ek Behraa Kyun
Naseeb Mein Andhera Faila Kyun
53) A roommate to another
Hum Masti Main Gum The
Aur Gaa Rahein The
Woh Kya Tum The
Joh Office Jaa Rahein The
Agar woh tum the
Joh Jaa Rahein The
Toh hume batao
Kyun Hum Bathroom Mein Bandh Kar Diya
Jab Hum Nahan Rahein The
54) Zulfe
Hum Kehte Hain Zulfen Jisko
Tum Kehte Ho Baal
Aisi Shayari Kar Karke
Hua Haal Behaal
55) A Husband says:
Pyaasa Tha
To Thik Tha
Ab Kaala Pani Ho Gaya
Sikandar Hone Ki Khwaish Toh Kabhi Na Ki
Par Bandar Baanke Reh Gaya
56) A woman says to the bridegroom
Bandh Kar Apna Thela
Aur Baitha Reh Akela
Kharidne Aayi Thi Main Aam
Aur Bech Rahan Hain Tu Kela
57) About Rooplal
Arre Rooplal
Kahan Gaye Tere Baal
Ho Gaya Kaise Yeh Tera Haal
Hua Teri Shaadi Ko
Baas Ek Hi Saal
58) A man explaining the birth of the child
Maine Kuch Bhi Nahin Kiya
Joh Hona Tha Ho Gaya
Shaadi Huye nau mahine
Aur Baccha Pyara Ho Gaya
59) A bachelor's woe
Duniya Ke Thele Pe
Bas Bechne Aaya Ek Kela
Aur Baitha Rahan Jeevan Bhar
Jaise Baithe Pinjare Main Panchee Akela
60) After Kids
Bacche Jab se Hue Hain
Padi Musibat Peeche
Patni Nadha Dheela Kare Toh
Bacche Chaddi Khiche
61) Goshal Sippy (Gossip) says:
Laila Ke Gum Mein
Majnu Kuda Kuye Mein
Par Sach Baat Toh Yeh Hain Ki
Haar Gaya Jaan Bujhke Majnu Laila Ko Juye Mein
62) A man says to an elderly chap:
Tu Pehane 70s ke kapade
Aur Chipaye Sadiyon Ke Lafade
Ghotala Kare Tu Daddu
Aur Police Mujhe Pakade
63) Bachelor Woes:
Kabhi Mile Kaddu
Toh Kabhi Miley Karela
Sab chale gaye
Reh Gaya Main Akela
64) Yakeen:
Jung Na Kare Sipahi
Aur Saas Bahu Mein Naa Ho Ladhai
Yakeen Na Aaye Duniya Ko
Jab Gaay Paale Kasai
