In Soviet Russia

In Soviet Russia

(10-30m)   by jtaylor012898

Short Comedy Movies   (14068 Views 1 Comments)

(Story opens with family in dining room eating dinner in a town called Hanover in Pennsylvania) (Mother:) So boys, how was school today?

(Randy:) It was a bit different. It was career day and I chose astrophysics. I didn't learn much, but... at least it was different.

(Father:) Accounting was your second choice, right?

(Randy:) (Thinks) Crap. (Speaks) Uh, yes.

(Father:) ? (While looking at other boy) What about you, Tim?

(Tim:) It was my first choice, but the class was full so I was put in electrical engineering instead.

(Father:) That's a shame, but it's good to see that you two are still interested. I ought to bring you down to the firm more often.

(Randy gives a low groan)

(Randy:) Dad, honestly, neither of us even picked accounting. In fact, we think it's starting to become a bit, well... , boring.

(Father:) ? Boring? Why would you think that? It IS boring. It's SUPPOSED to be boring. The only reason that your granddad was able to get his accounting business off the ground and that I am able to keep it that way is because he was and I am BORING. Because with boredom comes stability.

(Short pause)

(Father contemplates while looking down at the table)

(Father:) Jeez, I really had no idea that you guys wanted to do other stuff. I guess I was so blinded by the idea of passing the torch on to one of you guys that I didn't realize your other talents.

(Short pause)

(Father gives a long sigh)

(Father:) Well, whatever you choose to do in life, just remember:

(Father slowly stands)

(Father:) Stay boring.

(Father leaves dinner table, revealing a frame on the wall)

(Quick shot of the stunned Randy and Tim, then longer one of the object that was revealed and at which Randy starts staring, an older photograph of their grandfather, standing next to their grandmother, passing a lit torch to their father, who is standing next to their mother)

(Edit back to boys)

(Randy starts staring at Tim, who then meets him with a curious look)

(Edit to an elderly, eccentric scientist, standing in the doorway to his house, who hands Tim, standing on the doorstep, a large bag)

(Tim shakes hands with the man)

(Tim starts walking away with the bag as man walks back into his house, shutting the door behind him)

(Edit to Randy tinkering with some machine in his room)

(Tim:) (While appearing from doorway to room in background with bag) Okay, Randy. I think I finally have the extra plutonium rods you wanted, even the fun-sized ones.

(Randy:) (While making a glance back at Tim's bag) Yep, looks like it. Put it in the pile. (While Tim puts bag in pile with other bags of plutonium) ? Oh, and while you were gone, I decided that we should go back further, to when Dad was a bit more impressionable, and to when he might actually listen to us, which I figure would be somewhere in his mid-teens.

(Tim:) Which brings me to my all important question once again: How we are supposed to know DEFINITELY that this plan, BEFORE we do it, will work, and isn't going to kill us?

(Randy:) Well, as I've said, I'm fairly certain that this plan will work well and quite safely, but as I now realize, (while turning around to face Tim and then motioning at time machine with hands) ? it won't be truly proven to us unless we test it.

(Tim sighs)

(Tim:) Fine.

(Randy:) Don't worry. I won't take us anywhere dangerous.

(Randy puts a very small (?fun-sized?) rod of plutonium in the time machine and presses a few buttons on it)

(Randy and Tim get in time machine and Randy activates it)

(Randy and Tim are warped to Randy's room in the past (time machine does not come with them) where Past Randy, who looks slightly at Randy and Tim, is tinkering with the time machine from the past)

(Randy immediately restrains Tim, hurriedly steps backward with him to the closet, quickly opens the door, swiftly moves with Tim into the closet, and immediately shuts the closet door)

(Tim:) What are you doing?!

(Randy:) We have to hide!

(Tim:) Why? I thought you said?

(Randy:) Sh! Sh!

(Past Tim:) (While entering room with bag) Okay, Randy. I think I finally have the extra plutonium rods you wanted, even the fun-sized ones.

(Past Randy:) (While making a glance back at Past Tim's bag) Yep, looks like it. Put it in the pile. (While Past Tim puts bag in pile with other bags of plutonium) ? Oh, and while you were gone, I decided that we should go back further, to when Dad was a bit more impressionable, and to when he might actually listen to us, which I figure would be somewhere in his mid-teens.

(Past Tim:) Which brings me to my all important question once again: How we are supposed to know DEFINITELY that this plan, BEFORE we do it, will work, and isn't going to kill us?

(Past Randy:) (Sarcastically) Well,

(Past Randy immediately produces a pistol and shoots Past Tim in the head, killing him instantly)

(Tim:) (As Tim exits the closet followed by Randy) Oh, I see.

(Randy pulls device out of pocket and presses button on it, which returns them to Randy's time machine in his room, with no second Tim or Randy present, in the future)

(Tim:) (While exiting time machine behind Randy) Well, I'm not dead somehow. I suppose that's a start.

(Randy:) (While scanning room with confusion) Obviously not, with your logic you would've died as soon as I killed your past self. You're alive because once we traveled through time we essentially made copies of ourselves. The problem here is that the originals seem to be missing.

(Short pause)

(Randy ponders)

(Randy picks up television remote off table and turns on TV)

(News Anchor:) (Speaks with shots of Tim's face and face of deranged-looking man in background) ?prime suspect has made no testimony yet, but popular consensus is that the killing was committed out of self-defense.

(Randy shrugs)

(Randy:) (While motioning at TV with hands) Eah!... Eah!

(Tim:) Yeah, it'll work.

(Randy:) (While turning off TV and then putting return device, TV remote, and pistol on table) Darn right it'll work, though in some instances it works maybe a bit too well... (While moving toward table and then sitting down) Luckily, also while you were gone, I think I might've discovered a way for us to be able to prevent those unwanted results, a. k. a. paradoxes, as you'll see in a minute, from occurring.

(Tim:) (While joining Randy at table) Really? You think that last one could have used this?

(Randy:) Yeah, yeah, I'll fix it later? but in short, I believe that the solution of a paradoxical issue might be related to the solution of a paradoxical mathematical equation, (motions to paper on table but camera still stays fixed on boys) like this sadly unanswered one I created.

(Tim briefly studies paper)

(Tim:) Really? Well, that's easy, (while writing answer) ?x? equals zero?

(Randy:) (Just as Tim finishes writing; while lunging to try to stop action) Wait! Don't!

(Wormhole opens up from paper and sucks boys in)

(Dog ignorantly walks in room seconds later and gets sucked in as well)

(Edit to a bathroom in an unknown location)

(Wormhole starts to open)

(Randy:) You (While forcefully shoving Tim against a wall, causing him to inadvertently turn on the light switch, as he exits the wormhole directly behind Tim) IDIOT! ? ?x? was in one of the denominators! (As wormhole closes) You can't divide by zero!

(Tim:) Well, I didn't think it would open a wormhole!

(Randy:) Well, duh! Dividing by zero, zero to the power of zero, zero root. All of those do that!

(Tim contemplates)

(Tim:) (While staring blankly) So that's what happened to my stuffed kangaroo.

(Randy grumbles loudly)

(Randy:) You're just lucky we stayed on earth. We could have been taken anywhere!

(Tim looks around the room with agitation)

(Tim:) (Softly) Speaking of which, don't you think we should be quiet?

(Randy:) Oh, even if we do that we're still screwed!

(Tim:) Staying angry won't help either.

(Randy sighs)

(Randy:) Fine.

(Long pause)

(Randy looks carelessly around the room)

(Randy:) Isn't this a public bathroom? Why the heck hasn't anyone come in yet?

(Tim:) I don't know. There might be some major event taking place outside. (While starting to turn around to walk away) Why don't we investigate? (While stopping to look back at Randy) Carefully, of course.

(Boys begin to leave bathroom)

(Cut to boys stealthily sidling a wall of a deserted hallway, which leads them to an also empty main entrance hall of what appears to be a theater, only lit, like the rest of the place, by natural light)

(Tim:) Well, at least no one's here

(Randy:) (Said as boys start carefully wandering down another hallway together) Your INCREDIBLE luck ends here. We have to leave eventually and there are bound to be people outside.

(Tim:) Well there must be something we can do.

(Randy sighs)

(Randy:) Judging by the writing on the walls, I'd say we're in Russia. I suppose we could try to seem Russian.

(Tim:) How would we do that?

(Randy and Tim stop walking at an open room which they see to be filled with costumes, clothing, etc.)

(Edit to Tim peering through clothing)

(Tim:) Wow, these coats look decades old.

(Randy:) (Refers to the smearing of white makeup on his face that he is currently doing) Get over here and do this first.

(Tim also starts smearing makeup on face)

(Tim slows his slathering as a thought grips him)

(Tim:) Say, wouldn't this be a bit racist?

(Randy:) What do you think this is, a movie? It's not so bad in cartoons.

(Tim:) ? Well that's a relief.

(Short hold of shot by camera)

(A wormhole opens in some remote area and the dog, named Benny, tumbles out of it)

(Benny wanders around area with confusion until he sees and approaches a man who appears to be a lone farmer)

(Benny:) Excuse me sir. If I could have a minute of your time, I seem to have lost my way from home. It's in this one town called Hanover, and I was just wondering if you could tell me where to find it.

(Farmer:) (Jokingly; in a goofy Russian accent) In Soviet Russia, home find YOU.

(Benny:) Oh, well alright then.

(Benny sits down very still)

(Farmer stares at Benny with surprise, then with contempt)

(Farmer rolls his eyes)

(Farmer:) (While walking off screen) Stupid American.

(Short hold of shot)

(Boys are shown inconspicuously walking down sidewalk of some major Russian city)

(Randy:) Yep. Just as I suspected. Soviet flags everywhere.

(Randy glares a bit at Tim)

(Tim:) (Looking at Randy) ? What?!

(Randy sighs)

(Randy:) Forget it. Let's just find a place away from these busy streets.

(Immediately a crowd forms and catches the boys, who manage to stay together, inadvertently, sweeping them along to some highly decorated and prepared area)

(A military parade begins)

(Tim:) (In a low voice to avoid attention) Okay, so at least we know where and when we are. We're in Moscow's Red Square on some day like May 9 or November 7... of some year...

(Short pause)

(Tim:) More likely May though, due to the weather...

(Long awkward pause)

(Tim sees an image of Joseph Stalin in the parade)

(Tim:) Humph. You think I'm bad. Just think of all the people Stalin killed during his lifetime: Poles, Lithuanians, Ukrainians, Belorussians,

(Randy:) ?Americans?

(Tim:) Jews, gypsies, homosexuals,

(Randy:) ?Pennsylvanians?

(Tim:) Kulaks, Red Army leaders,

(Randy:) ?Hanoverans?

(Tim:) and even his fellow Communist party members...

(Long awkward pause)

(Tim ponders)

(Tim:) Events like these make you wonder how truly blind Soviet leaders were to the ineffectiveness and evilness of communism.

(Randy:) ? There certainly is much exposition here, isn't there?

(Tim:) Oddly put, but yes.

(Short hold of shot)

(Benny is shown still sitting patiently in middle of nowhere, near the time of the sunset)

(Black van rolls slowly on screen in front of Benny with its right side facing him)

(Window on right (driver's) side opens)

(Driver:) (While looking down at Benny) ? You Benny?

(Benny:) ? (Said in same relaxed tone as driver) Yeah.

(Driver slowly scans area)

(Driver:) (While looking down at Benny again) ? Get in.

(Van door slides open and Benny gets in van)

(Van door closes and van drives away)

(Randy and Tim begin new scene in an empty alleyway)

(Tim:) Look. I know you're still angry with me, but I have a good idea so please listen. I don't know if you noticed nuclear smokestacks along the horizon far beyond the city ? if not probably because they weren't actually smoking ? but anyway, those most likely belong to a nuclear plant. If so, this facility would likely get large shipments of plutonium regularly. We could probably just steal some plutonium from one of the delivery trucks.

(Randy:) Yeah, how?

(Tim:) Well I haven't thought of that yet, but then again, we built the first ever functioning time machine!

(Randy:) I did.

(Tim:) Right, you did, but my point is that we can forge a more detailed plan later... And after that we could get the other parts we need from a junkyard, or something, and then get out of here.

(Short pause)

(Randy sighs)

(Randy:) I suppose that would be a good plan, but may I offer a suggestion?

(Tim:) Absolutely.

(Randy:) Don't you think it would be wise first to complete our Russian facade by learning some of the language?

(Tim:) Why? Anyone we meet will just speak English anyway to avoid subtitles.

(Randy:) You know, conformity to dramatic conveniences like THAT is what got us into this mess in the first place! We're doing it and that's final! Besides, how bad could learning the language be? I'm sure it will only take two DAYS to get done.

(Time Card (Two Days Later))

(Head Scientist:) (In a laboratory the size of a warehouse with boys and many other scientists) ?as though we have new recruits, I'd like to give a brief overview. As you know, the point of this entire operation is to make A-bombs. Bombs made today, however, are special because they have been selected to be shown in a video threat to the people who hate air most, (while seething) ? Americans...

(Tim:) ? We do?

(H. S. :) Yes, they do. Anyway, let me explain how you make air bombs. First, you must determine the precise amounts of each substance to be contained in each bomb. For example, our tests on Americans have shown that relatively small amounts of carbon monoxide in previously uncontaminated air can kill an American, so it would be wise to include a small amount of carbon monoxide, in relation to the other gases such as hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, and so forth, in each bomb. Second, these precise amounts of each gas will be sent by these tubes (while motioning with hands) to these strong linen sacks, the bomb casings, where the gases will be mixed. Inflate each linen sack with these gases to a certain pressure, and then you are done. Ten of these bombs have been selected to be filmed in five days, so Davai. Those who don't Davai will be punished severely. If anyone has any questions, ask a veteran or come see me in my office.

(H. S. turns his back and begins walking away toward his office)

(Randy looks contemptuously at camera)

(Edit to Randy cutting hole in linen sack and connecting hose of vacuum, set on ?blow?, to it)

(Vacuum, when turned on, sucks in air and blows it into the air sack)

(Linen sack once completely full happens to take shape of nuclear bomb)

(Randy:) (Shouts in direction of H. S.) One down!

(H. S. stops on the top of flight of stairs to his office)

(H. S. :) What?! (While turning around to look at progress) There is no way you? Whoa.

(Long Pause while H. S. stares)

(H. S. :) Well, (while beginning descent) it can't be any good.

(Cut to H. S. poking tiny slit in air sack with knife, which he then licks)

(H. S. contemplates)

(H. S. :) ? It's a little dusty... but a little dust couldn't hurt, right? This is brilliant! I ought to promote you immediately, but can't, so just help the rest of these slackers and I'll be back in an hour. (While turning around and starting to walk away; as scientists get back to work; to himself) I wonder what else these guys could do. They might even be able to fix the plant's nuclear generator.

(Camera pans up to show air bomb)

(New scene opens with black van under the cover of night driving on dirt road surrounded by forest)

(Edit to driver)

(Long pause)

(Driver:) Benny, in a few minutes we will be crossing the Russian border. Patrol on this section is very lax, but we still need to use caution. Ten miles past the border will be a U.S. military base, which will transport you by plane to Washington D.C. I haven't been given a description of your following journey to Hanover, but in any case, I'm sure it will be a safe one... From this moment forward until the van reaches the base, I must require you to be silent unless there is an emergency.

(Benny:) I really need to use the bathroom.

(Driver:) I'm sorry, but your time to do that is over. Use the bathroom at the base... quickly.

(Approximately half a mile before the border, van drives into the trees for several yards and continues heading toward border)

(Van stops within a few feet of border, a very tall chain-link fence, and two men quickly exit van through back)

(The two men use wire cutters to create a passage for the van through the fence)

(The men when finished get back in the van)

(The van passes through the opening easily, but at the the same time, van and its contents, except for Benny, disappear into thin air once Benny crosses the border, which Benny doesn't realize, so van, etc. still operate as if nothing happened and Benny hovers in midair as if sitting in a car seat like a human)

(Disappeared van goes about a half mile in the trees and then returns to the dirt road)

(Benny:) (Immediately after van returns to road; refers to disappeared driver) Unless you want stains all over the floor of the van in ten seconds, I suggest you let me out to go now.

(Van pulls over behind tree)

(Disappeared Driver:) Do it quickly.

(Benny gets out of van, urinates, and gets back in seat of van)

(Security alarm sounds)

(D. D. :) (With a slight tone of annoyance) Hang on, Benny. And to lessen the risk of being shot, I'd suggest you get down.

(Benny finally falls to ground on his buttocks and van immediately afterward accelerates away)

(Benny falls to side)

(Next scene opens with director of administration at facility, alongside head scientist, admiring finished work of Randy and Tim)

(Director of Administration:) Astounding! I've never seen such work done so quickly and so well! We actually researched some of our long forgotten records and found that methanethiol can be, in fact, quite harmful to Americans. How did you ever think of adding it?

(Tim:) We've had experience with Americans during World War II.

(D. A. :) Have you now? (While making a mental consideration) Very interesting... Well anyway, you will be promoted immediately, and if there's anything I could get you just say so now. Consider it a gift.

(Randy:) Well, you wouldn't by chance have any plutonium on you, would you?

(D. A. :) I wouldn't have that particular radioactive element on me, no. But (while removing glowing, green rod from pocket) ? I do have some radium.

(Randy:) (Aside to Tim) I think I could try to make it work. (To D. A.) Sure, that'll do, for now. We may need much more later.

(D. A. :) (While throwing rod to Randy) Well if you do need anything more after this don't hesitate to ask. Anything else?

(Randy:) Do you have any aluminum sheets and copper wiring?

(D. A. :) I could get you some, sure. I would just have to contact a few people and? Hey, wait a minute! You two aren't plotting anything, are you?

(Randy:) (Exaggeratedly) What?!... No!...

(Tim:) The radium's only a gift, and the aluminum and copper parts are just... well, who doesn't like metal parts right?

(D. A. :) (With a furious look) I DON'T!... Just kidding.

(D. A. pulls aluminum and copper parts out of his pockets, etc., and gives parts to Tim)

(D. A. :) Will that be it then? After all that work I'm sure you're hungry for some good food.

(Randy:) No thank you, I think we're?

(Tim:) (Aside to Randy) It would be wise to have radiation suits this time. We are working with a radioactive chemical after all.

(Randy:) (Aside to Tim) ? I suppose you're right. (To D. A.) Actually, last we would like some radiation suits? for the entire crew, because of the, uh, radioactive air.

(H. S. :) Radioactive?!

(H. S. starts coughing violently)

(Randy:) Don't worry, it's only harmful in large doses, but just in case we would like to have those suits.

(D. A. :) Absolutely! But I don't think I could give radiation suits to you now.

(Tim:) Really?

(D. A. :) Yes. (While turning around and then starting to walk away) ? I would have to consider who else needs them first.

(Four men are shown sitting around a table, two men on each side, in a small, secluded, dimly-lit room)

(United States of America Representative:) (Speaks to two men across from him) I think it would be proper for all of us to confirm our purpose here. We (also referring to his own lackey next to him) represent the United States of America on behalf of the issue of the return of U. S. spies, currently held captive in the Chemical Weapons Facility: American Division in the Moscow region, to our country.

(United Soviet Socialist Republics Representative:) We (also referring to his own lackey) represent the United Soviet Socialist Republics on the same stated issue.

(Short pause)

(U. S. A. Rep. :) Why are you attempting to return to us these spies?

(U. S. S. R. Rep. :) About a month ago, we decided that we no longer need your spies. We believe we have found a way to continue making great strides in chemical warfare without the need to perform physical tests on Americans.

(Short pause)

(U. S. A. Rep. :) What are your demands?

(U. S. S. R. Rep. :) (While handing U. S. A. Rep. papers) These documents, when signed by appropriate authorities, require us to return the listed spies in exchange for some raw materials, listed more specifically on one of the documents, one thousand of your finest radiation suits, and the disabling of three hundred of your laughing gas bombs.

(U. S. A. Rep. :) (To lackey) ? What?! ?

(The dumbfounded U. S. A. Rep. shifts attention to the documents and concentrates on them for a long period of time)

(U. S. A. Rep. :) (To U. S. S. R. Rep.) ? Well, sir, there appear to be some names missing from this list.

(U. S. S. R. Rep. :) Please elaborate.

(U. S. A. Rep. :) We're quite sure that fifteen spies are in captivity because they lost all communication with us in the course of the previous month. Only ten names are listed on this document.

(U. S. S. R. Rep. :) We're certain those five are simply having issues involving the obvious evasion of our custody. An excellent tip if anything, I might add.

(U. S. A. Rep. :) No, we believe you have all of the spies and aren't willing to return five of them. We believe this is most likely because they are Animal American spies, from which you have been extracting chemicals to be used as torturing agents in interrogations with the human spies, and which you intend to use, once the human spies are gone, in weapons testing because you haven't done much testing on Animal Americans.

(U. S. S. R. Rep. :) Those allegations are false, we have no further use for your spies. If you do not accept this offer we may have no choice but to execute them.

(U. S. Rep. gives low sigh while rolling his eyes)

(Short pause)

(U. S. A. Rep. :) Under such conditions, I have been instructed to decline the offer. As an incentive for attempting negotiations again we may offer more of a ransom in addition to what you have already proposed, but only if the appropriate names are included on this list. Consider it your apology for lying.

(Both representatives stare at each other with hostility for several seconds)

(U. S. A. Rep. stands up, followed by his lackey)

(U. S. A. Rep. :) Thank you for your time, gentlemen.

(Men shake hands)

(U. S. A. Rep. and lackey leave room and start walking down hall)

(Lackey:) Would it be wise to speak freely, sir?

(U. S. A. Rep. :) Granted.

(Lackey:) Well quite frankly, I'm stunned by your decision. Why didn't you just accept this offer and then try negotiations again later for the rest of the spies? I mean, why risk the possibility of all the spies getting exec?

(U. S. A. Rep. :) Don't worry about that, that was just an empty threat. They'd have almost nothing to gain by killing any of the spies. Bottom line is: The U. S. couldn't easily meet their demands. I only gave them that fake offer in order to sway them from executing any of the spies while the U. S. carries out step two of the plan.

(At around noon, U. S. Special Operations Forces are seen getting into helicopters)

(Late that night, director of administration is shown standing in front of the ten spies at tables with empty meal trays)

(D. A. :) Listen up! I've allowed you to eat here tonight because I wanted to inform you personally that we'll most likely try negotiations again, and instead include more of your comrades, but as of now none of you are going home to America any time soon. Report back to your cells immediately!

(Spies very lowly groan and start walking away)

(Edit to human spies starting to pass by five animal spies and Benny in cells)

(Benny:) (As spies walk past his cell) Tough break, man. There's always next time. Stay strong.

(Guard:) (As last of human spies enter their cells) 14... 15... 16. (Speaks to another guard) Alright, that's the last of this troublesome American scum. I'll leave you to your post.

(Guard leaves room and shuts door behind him)

(Long pause)

(Benny:) (To guard on duty) Hey mister!... Hey!... Hey mister?

(Guard 2:) No, not this again! Shut up!

(Benny:) How do you expect any of us to get home if you didn't let THEM go now?

(Guard 2:) Well if you're very lucky IN A SMALL PLASTIC BAG IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP!

(Benny:) Cool! I like small, plastic bags. This one time, I

(Guard starts seething noticeably as Benny continues to ramble)

(All of the prisoners realize how annoyed the guard is by the talking and start talking themselves)

(Guard starts shaking violently in annoyance and anger)

(Edit to Randy and Tim, wearing smocks, in a nearly enclosed room)

(After a while of tinkering with a rod, of the dozens in a pile in the background, of radium, Randy throws the utensil in his hand forcefully to the ground)

(Randy:) I give up. The radium won't work. And even if we could get plutonium we'd probably need a truck load of the stuff, and I'm pretty sure Whatshisname couldn't fit a freaking truck up his sleeve!

(Randy sighs)

(Randy:) But then again, I suppose we are liked around here...

(Meanwhile, U. S. helicopters are shown landing very quietly)

(Soldiers begin to move out)

(Edit to a group of soldiers intending to invade silently a particular opening when a guard appears from the opening)

(Guard 2:) (While throwing all fifteen spies and Benny to soldiers and then receding) Here, take them!

(Short hold of shot)

(Edit to soldiers rushing to the helicopters with the spies)

(Edit to Randy and Tim who notice the pandemonium from their open window)

(Tim grabs binoculars and sees that the soldiers are from the U. S.)

(Edit to four of the spies and Benny being shown their seats on a helicopter by a soldier)

(Soldier:) (Quickly) All of you are being taken to a military base just past the Russian border. We should be fairly safe once we leave the region, but no matter what stay calm and in your seats throughout the entire flight.

(Randy and Tim are shown being quickly escorted on board)

(Soldier 2:) (Quickly) Okay boys, we're going to an American military base just past the border. I need you to find a seat and remain calm.

(Randy:) Yes, we will! Thank you for trusting us and taking us on board.

(Soldier 2:) (Quickly) You're welcome. Now please take a seat. Take off's in ten seconds.

(Tim and Randy find seats without noticing Benny across from them)

(Benny notices boys)

(Benny:) Hey guys!

(Randy:) (While Tim looks at Benny, simply gives him a smile of welcome, and looks away; Randy with a smile of content) Oh, hey Benny.

(Randy continues to hold content smile)

(Edit to much later in the day with an external shot of helicopter flying)

(After a few seconds, helicopter, and everything related to it except for Benny, Randy, and Tim, disappears once Randy, Tim, and Benny pass a certain point, leaving dog and boys temporarily floating while stationary)

(Benny:) Dang it, not again!

(Boys and dog start their fall)

(Shot of three having finished (except for Randy who is near finished) wringing out their clothes after having exited the lake into which they had fallen)

(Tim:) Well I guess we're walking then.

(Trio is shown approaching U. S. military base)

(Trio on flight to London)

(Trio on flight to D.C.)

(Trio on flight to Harrisburg)

(Edit to a patient room in a doctor's office, in which Randy is sitting on a patient table, while holding a content smile, x-rays of Randy's face are on the walls, and the doctor gives a shrug to Tim and Benny)

(Trio on bus to Hanover)

(Edit to boys' grandfather together with some woman sitting on the grass watching the sunset)

(Boys and dog walk toward couple and stop behind them with no care of being noticed (couple doesn't notice anyway))

(Tim quickly grabs woman, throws woman off screen, grabs Tim and Randy's grandmother from off screen, and places her in former woman's place)

(New couple stare at sunset while holding hands as if nothing had changed while boys and dog walk off screen)


Comedy Type: Script Length: Post date:

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Submitted by daniel (not verified) on Wed, 12/03/2014 - 00:16
brillanete respsoce is a bit rasist though really god organised play and funny i am going to mayeb use it for my untit 2 drama performanxce at gcse level it is funnnnnnny as fuck man ur a ledgend

10-30m Short Comedy Movies - In Soviet Russia