valley boy song

valley boy song

(1.5m)   by gritt brewer

Funny Stories   (5955 Views 0 Comments)

was born in the valley where i was born

where there was nothing sweet about the corn

was unfulfilled like a sheep unshorn

served no purpose like soft porn

daddy left before i was conceived

did'nt know if i was real or perceived

sure leaves a fellow real aggrieved

if he suspects he's make believe



rebel with a heart primed to explode

gonna kick some ass on lifes long road

rebel with a bad old brimstone mind

gonna kick gonad, gonna stir mankind


packed up and went to the big city

with a seriously embellished curriculum vitae

went to live on the wrong side of the tracks

got a desd end job making cul de sacs

only got the job cos some robot

was out real sick with a bad oil clot

i could'nt settle down for i'm hard to tame

i drift like wood of the same name

won't wag my tail like a old lapdog

won't curl up by the fire like a flexible log


it was soon after things got surreal

i started fighting with the navy seals

big red lobsters and ten foot bugs

stopped taking so many psychedelic drugs

so i stole me a caddy hit the highway

we travelled for a long old day

the caddy died of a heart attack

gess i'm just too heavy for piggybacks

so i replied to a ad about a life i crime

had a robbing and a cheating and a murdering time

was caught by the law and thrown in jail

for the next ten years was called abigail


then i met darlene who worked the streets

a high class sweeper kept the city neat

she shot a arrow to my heart had me smitten

had me retching and a panting and a drooling and a spitting

i took her out for a banana meal

she choked when she forgot to peel

instead of the tears i should have been shedding

i combined her funeral with our wedding

returned to my valley a contented geezer

with a brand new bride and a walk in freezer

Comedy Type: Humor Type: Comedy Scene:
1 Person
Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
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Permission not required

Author's Message

this is a song explaining my life so far

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1 Person 1.5m Funny Stories - valley boy song