short song medley

short song medley

(3m)   by gritt brewer
 

Funny Stories   (2481 Views 0 Comments)

             SHEILA WITHOUT TAMPON

blood it gushed all over her toes

she was cursed with heavy flow

all the lassies would shout oh no

Sheila wheres your tampon

the blood flowed high, the blood flowed low

as over the streets she spilled her load

all the lassies would shout oh no

Sheila wheres your tampon

she'd go swimming in the sea

the sharks would have a jamboree

her mother screamed when she lost her knee

Sheila wheres your tampon

everyday without fail

you would always see her trail

she was like a human snail

that's Sheila without tampon

 

             ORANGE IS THE COLOR

orange is the color of my true loves face

her fake tan is a pure disgrace

her head i would love to peel

Christ, she glows like Sellafield

a nice tan, that would be great

as if in soya sauce you did marinate

but when you're bright orange, my desire does sag

a Oompa Loompa, i nare will shag

 

           DAUGHTER AND SON

i had a son, and i had a daughter

now i have neither, for they were slaughtered

won't happen again, that i do swear

in future, I'll only course the spring hare

i had a daughter and i had a son

i tinkered a bit, now there's only one

won't happen again, that's not a lie

for I'm fair sick of my new lady boy

i had a daughter and i had a son

fine hardy offspring, each weighs half a ton

its all done with hormones, no need to force feed

for angel and dusty, to grow at great speed

 

                 SIEGE

ever since before i was me, a part of this world i did not want to be

i was heard shouting in the delivery room

I'm staying put in this comfy old womb

my twin was not a big fan, of my not going anywhere plan

i said brother they ain't going to try any caesarian ploy

for you will be my hostage my boy

we are also immune to smoke grenade

cos mother smokes one hundred a day

yes this is my manor, and i am its lord

then i tied up my brother with umbilical chord

calmly i made some food demands

run a wee hose from the mammary glands

there we stayed safe from prying eyes

getting more cramped, as the weeks passed by

then we died

 

                       PADRE PIO

Padre Pio was the man with the fucked up hands

blood red like a tomato

a good man to pray, bled buckets every day

for he was the king of stigmata

he led a pious life, god was his wife

he never drank nor whored

and he was never ill, cos he got free refills

off the blood transfusion board

 

Comedy Type: Humor Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
Public

Author's Message

all words set to well known folk songs. just changed the subject matter a tad

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3m Funny Stories - short song medley