To the tune of The Flowers That Bloom in the Spring by Gilbert and Sullivan. Please note that if you want to perform this song you will either have to get permission to use Gilbert and Sullivan's tune, or write an original tune. A Midi version of the tune is here: http://onlinesequencer.net/3027603
The evening class lists have arrived, Tra la,
They promise me something to do.
For which of them should I apply, Tra la,
To learn something totally new, Tra la,
I’ll stand in the applicants’ queue,
They’ll know that I haven’t a clue.
I’ll tell you the subjects and make them all rhyme,
Accounting, mathematics and talking in sign,
There’s woodwork and baking,
And candlestick making,
Or country dance, tap-dance or line.
There’s sledging and skating,
Sketching, or Graphic Design.
There’s German and Russian and Dutch, Tra la,
There’s Spanish, Italian and French.
I don’t go abroad very much, Tra la,
I’ll make my acquaintances blush, Tra la,
The lot of them think I’m too dense,
For idiom, gender and tense.
Though Gaelic’s too guttural, Chinese too hard,
They make you learn scribbles from pieces of card,
I’ll learn to make cider
Or pilot a glider,
Or offer the healing touch.
But if I am honest, there is, as I fear,
Nothing of interest here.
It’s too cold to ramble or stare at the sky,
I don’t want to conquer my fear,
I don’t want to care for my bike, so I
Won’t book a class this year!