So I had this job!

So I had this job!

(4.5m)   by Jamyt2000_12598

Funny Stories   (16227 Views 1 Comments)

Yeah, back in the day I was desperate for some work so I was happy when I got work painting lines on the state roads around my area. I thought this ain't rocket science, it ain't like you need much of an education or training for this menial job. Anyway I showed up the first dat and my whole five minutes of trading consisted of telling me to come out to my area, find a spot for my paint bucket and  have your paintbrush ready to slap lines of yellow on the sides of the asphalt. Boss said "I'll be coming by here regular like and when I come by "I don't want to see nothing but asshole and elbows" "yes sir boss" I said and started shaking up my paint to get ready for the day. Well, went thru that first day, dip the brush, paint the line, go back and dip into paint and brush some lines. At the end of the day the boss came by and asked "well, how far did you get today"? " 2 miles I said" , not too bad for your first day I guess. "well get back tomorrow and do it again"! Next day I show up, put my can in its spot and commence to painting more and longer lines, soon here comes the boss "asshole and elbows he said" "yes boss" I said and went back to the bucket to get more paint on my brush then back to paint more lines. At the end of the workday the boss came by and asked "how far did you get today?" 1 & a half miles today boss! Only a mile and a half? He thought to himself that maybe he just had a bad day. So he said I'll give you one more day but you gotta show me you can do this job k? "Yes sir boss". Third day comes and I go out to the work area, shook up my paint, dipped my brush and walked up and started painted those damn lines. Boss drove by and I said " I know boss,asshole and elbows!" "You got it "said the boss. Well the day came to an end  and soon here came the boss. "Well son, how far did you get today?" I was ashamed to say, "boss I only got a mile today. "A mile? What happened? First day two,second day one & a half, third day one mile. Your supposed to be getting better not worse" " I'm going to have to let you go"" what the hell was wrong with you"? "Hell boss it wasn't me, it's just the fact that the farther I got down the road the farther away that damn paint bucket Kept getting!! Got to be a long goddamn walk to!

Comedy Type: Humor Type: Comedy Scene:
1 Person
Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
Permission for use:
Permission required

Author's Message

This is an extension of a story I heard many years ago ( not plagiarized) much has been changed, the premise remains the same. Again I come from the Appalachian mountains and wanted to play off the stigma of how unintelligent and uneducated people there are labeled.( when there the most loyal and closely knit hardworking and ethically moral people you’ll ever know! Bless “God country”. Thanks for reading hope you found it funny, that’s my goal. Feel free to critique or converse w/ me @ ....remember feel free in these tough times in our country to donate to “The Jamy Thompson self-preservation-fund, all donations are tax deductible and 100% goes to insure the preservation,maintenance, and prevention of a mammal on the brink of extiction! Thank you!

Copyright Statement




Submitted by SKBerkompas_13454 on Tue, 01/12/2021 - 13:57
may I use this monologue for an acting class?

1 Person 4.5m Funny Stories - So I had this job!