I was flipping through the channels, on the TV, stopped for a second. It was a man and a woman on a date. They were on a hilltop overlooking the ocean. They start whipping out food. I'm like "Oh how nice a picnic!"
I said this not knowing what was about to transpire.
THe lady hands the dude a sandwich. He grabs it looking at it, "Oh WOW, this is BEAUTIFUL!" "You do this?"
Now I don't know if he was kissing ass or creating convo... Either way shut the fuck up, you man version of Martha Stewart.
I hope the sandwich lives up to its breathtaking ability and you choke to death.
When I call something beautiful it doesn't ever include eating it after.
(woman voice) "Thats so beautiful! I want to chew it up and shit it out."
or (Sleazy man) "Why hello there, why haven't I digested you already!"
What has this guy seen... or rather NOT seen for him to be calling a single pb&j sandwich beautiful.
Don't get me wrong you've got to appreciate the little things. But beautiful sandwich!?
I speak English and I don't think beautiful is the correct vernacular for 2 pieces of bread and the contents of a 2 in 1 squeeze tube.
The only time this should be acceptable is if you were just released from the gates of a concentration camp. Even then after a couple your like (hunched clutching stomach) "God damn sandwiches!" Never want to see you again!"