Mistake Yields 'The Sweet 17,' Basketball-Tournament Spokesperson Admits
For Immediate Release; Monday, March 22, 2010; Noon CST, USA
(NOTE: Obvious Satire, Sports-News Story) -- By James Alex Gerard
(JG) -- A spokesperson for the "Gerard-Basketball Tournament" announced today that organizers erred in mathematics when selecting the field, after realizing the number of remaining teams isn't divisible by two.
A spokesperson for the totally made-up, fictional, and satirical "Gerard-Basketball Tournament," meant to rival the 'real' NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament, admitted organizers look like 'a bunch of big buffoons.' But organizers are continuing the event anyway -- unflappable.
"We realized that mistakes were made in our bracketing when we ended up with 'The Sweet 17.' Obviously, one team slipped through the cracks undetected. But we figured we'd come too far already, and we might as well keep right on going. So, like a ship of fools, we did.
We hoped -- and prayed -- no one would notice our ludicrous and laughable blunder. But they did. Now, the 'cat's out of the bag,' as they say," the spokesperson noted.
Currently, the "Gerard-Basketball Tournament" organizers are proceeding to what they're calling "The Notable Nine." After that, the spokesperson explained, the field will be "whittled down" to "The Final Five," with one team getting a "free pass" to the championship game.
"All things considered, we feel we'll have some measure of prestige in this disaster. While the 'real' NCAA tournament crowns only one champion at the end, we'll crown two," the spokesperson concluded.