Last Of The Leprechauns Song

Last Of The Leprechauns Song

(1.5m)   by gritt brewer

Funny Stories   (5276 Views 0 Comments)

walking in the meadow, on a bright summers day

yodeling me a pleasant tune, in a alpine kind of way

suddenly i heard a voice, said please don't stand on me

i looked down and saw something, small and fleshy

took to pondering if my mind had finally snapped

when this little man, size of my hand, said stop your pondering crap

clear your head, sit down a while, and rest your weary feet

and listen to the last of the Leprechauns, before i cease to be


he told me far fetched stories, the lies they were a flowing

some crock of shit about a crock of gold, with rainbows thrown in

he sang a silly song, danced a twatty dance, begged for a few pence

said i don't support caricatures, they give me great offense 

he criticised my apathy, and put a curse on me

said demons from the fairy bush, would take my liberty

I'd had my fill of Darby O'Gill, so i bade him farewell

said find yourself some tourists, and your coffers will swell

or maybe join a freak show, there  you'll be revered

and may you hook up with a midget, with webbed feet and a beard


like a Barbie doll looking for her nipples, he was far from amused

he attacked me with a thistle, and hurled verbal abuse

i bent down and caught him, and turned away for home

thinking I'll stuff this little bollocks, have me a garden gnome

twas a grievous error, one i did regret a lot

for he escaped, crawled up my arse, and there he deemed to squat

yes it was a quandary, of that there was no doubt

had a daily enema, but couldn't flush him out

lit my farts, to blaze the heart, of that green clad clown

but all i earned, was a ring so burned, that i ceased sitting down


it was hard looking in the mirror, at my arse so red

seeing him peeking out, giving it the turtles head

he sure loved his offal, on my insides he was chewing

my beloved colon was a semi colon quite soon

to rid me of this menace, was my one and only goal

it was a mistake telling a doctor, about the Leprechaun up my hole

so beware the little people, and cover your orifices well

or you'll be joining me in a multi padded cell



Comedy Type: Humor Type: Comedy Scene:
1 Person
Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
Permission for use:
Permission not required

Author's Message

Leprechauns like the native Americans had their lands stolen and were subject to persecution. luckily for the persecutors nobody actually believed there was any such thing as a Leprechaun

Copyright Statement


No comments yet, be the first to write one!


1 Person 1.5m Funny Stories - Last Of The Leprechauns Song