The Honeycomb Cafe
By David Johns
From down the street a group of five people, 3 women and two men, are approaching a caf? having a patio with tables and chairs. Ahead of the group, alone is forlorn Betty. Behind the group, some distance back is Bill. Out of the cafe door comes the Waitress carrying bunches of oversized long-stemmed flowers, two bunches of which she places at tables in flower vases. A third she holds in her hand.
Betty, walking ahead of the group sits down in the patio area as the flowers are being placed. The group rounds the sidewalk to enter the caf?. A young man speaks to the woman next to him who is dressed in a sexualized way with her shorts and halter top. He speaks, the Waitress overhears,
Young Man: Skank? I didn?t call you anything!
Woman?s reply: You thought it.
The Waitress reaches out with the over sized flowers and swats The Man on the head as the group gets nearer to the door. The swipe with the flowers releases small particles of pollen that sprinkle atop the man?s head. She gives the flowers to the woman. The man is puzzled being swatted. The group enters the caf? door above which is the signage Caf?.
With Betty seated, the Waitress places a menu down on the table in front of glum Betty. Poor Betty without looking plunks a finger down on the menu, thereby placing an order. The Waitress leans to see the item Betty chose. Suddenly, taking a step out of the entry door comes The Man bug-eyed and griping for his neck which has swollen immensely. He falls flat on his face. Two white clothed arms of medics grab him by the shoulders taking him away.
Bill appears from down along the sidewalk.
Bill: Hi, Betty!
Betty: Hello, Bill? (HE PLACES A PACK OF CANDY ON THE TABLE)
Bill: Isn?t today a beauty!
Betty: Um! (TAKING A PIECE OF GUM AND PUTS INTO MOUTH)
Bill: Rainy weather is behind us. We?ve got sun on the plants, today!
Betty: I?m not feeling well, okay?
Bill: I know. What?s the problem? I?m feeling great!
Betty: I didn?t get the part. What part you say. Right. (SHE TAKES ANOTHER PIECE OF GUM AND DROPS IT INTO HER PURSE. THE WAITRESS SETS A DRINK CONTAINER ON THE TABLE IN FRONT OF BETTY. SHE HOLDS THE MENU OUT FOR BILL WHO POINTS AT AN ITEM AND GETS A DEEP SMILE FROM THE WAITRESS. SHE WALKS AWAY WITH A BIT OF A TWIST. BILL SMILES BACK. ANOTHER MAN STEPS OUT OF THE CAF, FALLS FACE DOWN AND A PAIR OF WHITE CLOTHED ARMS PULLS HIM AWAY.)
Bill: Plays can?t make you happy, Betty. I?m really sorry for your problem.
Betty: There?s no problem, Bill. I think you?re right. Rejection needn?t make me sad. I?m going to make something of this day. (SHE TAKES ANOTHER GUM.) Want to go to the park with me? Yes?
Bill: No, I don?t think so.
Betty: Aw, c?mon. The sun?s out. You said. The flowers are in full bloom!
(THE WAITRESS APPEARS WITH A DRINK CONTAINER IN HER HAND. BILL SMILES BROADLY. AND GETS THE COLD SHOULDER. SHE PLACES THE DRINK DOWN AND PICKS UP THE GUM WRAPPER.)
Betty: Okay, bye! (BETTY LEAVES OUT THE WALKWAY. BILL REACHES QUICKLY FOR THE PACK. THE WAITRESS SHOWS HIM THAT ITS EMPTY. HE GRIMACES. SHE SWATS HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH THE NEARBY BOUQUET OF FLOWERS SPRINKLING POLLEN SPECKS ON HIS HEAD AND OPENS A HONEYCOMB CUPBOARD DOOR THAT RELEASES A BIG, ROUNDED, GOLD AND BLACK HONEY BEE THAT IS BIGGER THAN BILL?S HEAD WITH A LONG STINGER. IT FLIES OUT PAST THE TABLE. A FEW FEET OUT IT STOPS MID-AIR, SHAKES ITS HEAD, TAKES A GLANCE BACK TO BILL THAN BUZZES ON A BEE LINE TOWARDS BILL?S HEAD WITH THE STINGER AND PIERCES HIS HEAD WITH IT. BILL SLUMPS OVER FACE DOWN ON THE TABLE. A SIREN IS HEARD OFF. THE WAITRESS LOOKS OUT AND DOES A LITTLE SQUIGGLE WITH HER BODY, SMILING, JUST AS BILL LOOKS UP. HE LOOKS AT HER AND SMILES SHEEPISHLY. SHE PICKS UP THE STEM OF FLOWERS AND GOES TO SWAT HIM AGAIN. HE GETS UP AND WALKS AWAY, IN A LOT OF PAIN.
The Waitress: Having anymore thoughts?
Bill: (WITH A SWOLLENING NECK) Bye, bye. (TO NO-ONE IN PARTICULAR) MEDIC!! (EXPIRING) Mediiic. (AN ASEXUAL PARA-MEDIC HAND AND ARM COME INTO SCENE GRABBING BILL BY THE COLLAR AND YANKING HIM OUT OF VIEW AS THE BEE RETREATS THROUGH THE HONEY-COMB DOOR THAT THE WAITRESS CLOSES SHUT.