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What? Watt? Where? Ware?

What? Watt? Where? Ware?

(5m)   by thomgoddard
 

Comedy Skits   (203101 Views 91 Comments)

A person calls for roadside assistance after breaking down on Watt Street in Ware, Georgia.

Caller: Hello? Hello?

Dispatcher: Hello... are you there?

C: Oh, hello.

D: Yes, hello.

C: Oh, thank goodness.

D: Can I help you?

C: Yes, yes.˜

D: What can I help you with?

C: My car has broken down.

D: What seems to be the problem.

C: Well... my car won?t work.

D: Yes, I realise.

C: There?s no need to be like that.

D: Sorry. What has happened?

C: I was just driving along and the car died.

D: Dead?

C: Stopped working. Conked out. Kapput!

D: There?s no need to be like that.

C: Sorry. The car has stopped working and I need roadside help.

D: Of course. That?s what we do.

C: Excellent!

D: I just need some details. Where are you?

C: Yes.

D: I mean what town.

C: Ware.

D: The place you?ve broken down?

C: Ware.

D: The name of the place you standing right now?

C: I am in Ware.

D: What are you asking me for?

C: I?m not asking you, I?m telling you.˜

D: Where?

C: That?s the name.

D: Where?s name.

C: Yeah.

D: Well go ahead and tell me.

C: That?s it.

D: That?s where?

C: Precisely.

D: Look do you actually own a car?

C: What kind of question is that? Of course I own a car. And it?s broken down.

D: Where?s it broken down.

C: That?s right.

D: Is it?

C: Yes.

D: Look, when the repair man comes out to your car, where do you want him to go?

C: Straight there.

D: Where?

C: There.

D: The car?

C: Yes. Now you?ve got it.

D: Got it? Where?

C: YES!

D: Ok. Do you have sat nav?

C: Yes.

D: When your sat nav finds the car, where does it say it is?

C: Ware.

D: The sat nav.

C: Ware.

D: The satellite navigation.

C: In Ware.

D: What are you asking me for?

C: I?m not asking you, I?m telling you!

D: Fine. Forget the town.

C: No, not Forget...

D: I?m mean, let?s move on.

C: Ok.

D: What?s the name of the street?

C: How did you know that?

D: What?

C: Yes.

D: Pardon?

C: No, Watt... Street.

D: What are you asking me for?

C: I?m not asking you, I?m telling you!

D: You?re not telling me anything.

C: I?m telling you everything. Now I?m on Watt Street.

D: I don?t know.

C: Why not I just told you.

D: Told me?

C: Yes.

D: Told me what?

C: Yes.

D: What?

C: That?s it.

D: The name of the street?

C: Spot on.

D: Spot on?

C: Spot on.

D: So, now we?re getting somewhere. Spot On Street. Now what?s the name of the town?

C: No, that?s the name of the street!

D: What is?

C: Yes.

D: Yes?

C: Yes.

D: So, Yes Street in what town?

C: No, Watt Street, Ware.

D: What are you asking me for?

C: I?m not asking you!

D: Ok, this is getting us nowhere.

C: No, just Ware.

D: Ok.

C: Ok? You?ve got it?

D: Say I am driving to you what sign should I look out for?

C: Ware.

D: When I?m driving to you?

C: Ware.

D: Driving to you.

C: Ware.

D: Oh, let?s not start this again.

C: No... the car won?t start. That?s the problem.

D: Is there a sign on the road?

C: Yes.

D: What does it say?

C: Watt.

D: The sign.

C: Watt.

D: The sign on the road.

C: Watt.

D: READ OUT THE LETTERING ON THE ROAD SIGN.

C: Watt Street.

D: YES, ON THE STREET.

C: Watt Street.

D: THE STREET YOU?RE STANDING ON!

C: Watt Street.

D: Oh, I can?t take this any more. I?m going to tell the repair man whatever you tell me.

C: Excellent. This has taken a very long time.

D: Where is the town.

C: Yes.

D: Yes Town?

C: No, Ware.

D: Where Town?

C: Do you have difficulty understanding English?

D: No, why?

C: Where Town. Me on phone. You listen.

D: What?

C: Yes, that?s the street.

D: Ok, you are on What Street in Where.

C: Now that?s the first thing you?ve said right.

D: I don?t even know what I?m talking about!

C: But that?s perfect - Watt Street, Ware.

D: Please don?t start that again.

C: No problem.

D: So lastly, your name?

C: Annie / Mike (depending on actors).

D: Ok, Annie / Mike wha... Do you have a surname?

C: Place / Orr.

D: Annie Place / Mike Or... Any Place? / My Car? Goodnight!!!

Note: For performances in the UK the road is Watt Street in Ware, Hertfordshire.

? Written by Thom Goddard in 2001

Comedy Type: 
Script Length: 
Script Market: 
Public
Please contact me through iComedyTV if you want to use this script. No contact = no permission

Comments

Sarah (not verified)
i love this one, its confusing but absulutly hilarious!

amey (not verified)
wow i love this script it is so funny! Do you mind if me and my mate use it on our show??

massey0331
Watt was this about and ware did it take place....Nice, very good.

bap459
I would like to ask permission to use this at a dinner my National Honor Society is hosting at a public school. The audience is projected to be 57 honorees and their parents. I have always loved the Who's on first routine- but loved reading this one- and we all know about car troubles. I will have to locate the other two you mentioned in your post of 5-8. Oops- just realized I used my school name instead of adding in the a for my yahoo.com address. baproeger@yahoo.com

Maria (not verified)
Hi! I really really love this script. Do you mind if I use it for my drama performances? Please let me know no later than Saturday. Thank you very much!

prince441989
can i use your script plz thom i love love it so much!!!!! plzzzz

Eddie (not verified)
Thom Love your script!!! would love to use it if you would be so kind Eddie

Eddie (not verified)
Thom Thank you very much will use to good advantage and give credit where credit is dew, again thanks, would love to have more with two or three people in them if you so choose... Eddie

Aamah
Hi Thom, I'm directing a Variety Show for the Coach House Players, a community theater group in Kingston, NY in August and I'd like to use this bit with your permission. It's right up there with "who's on first" and it doesn't get much funnier than that! Of course, you will be credited. Thanks

PIYALI (not verified)
HI, A good comedy could not get better!!!! Just seeking permission for my boys to perform this as a part of the inter-school contest here at Kolkata. I just fell in love with this non caustic humour. God Bless you.... and awaiting your kind permission.

keeley (not verified)
Canning plz use this script as a performence

Vijay (not verified)
very funny script . is it okay if i borrow this for my school project

BNGislamicboy
This made me laugh every 2 to 3 lines! You're very talented! I was hoping you would give me permission to use this in an animation I am making for a school project. I will be sure to credit you if I am given permission to use this script.

CDW.Mcculloch
Very very funny. I loved it

Jean McMeel (not verified)
i really like this script! Do you mind if i use this at the Probus christmas breakup?

taylorandvealfilms
Hey, awesome script, could we use it in a Video

alex (not verified)
its really confusing

Jieun Park (not verified)
Hi Thom Goddard. This is such a brilliant comedy script. I love it. I want to perform a play using this script in my theater art 100 class. Can I please have your permission to use this?

Bianca (not verified)
I loved this script. I was laughing the whole time i read it. I was wondering if it'd be okay to use it for my theatre class?

Bianca (not verified)
I loved this script. I was laughing the whole time i read it. I was wondering if it'd be okay to use it for my theatre class?

Darthjac
I would like permission to use this for my Homeschooling dram performance. I have 2 students, and this would be perfect for them. They are 2 boys so I may have to make a few alterations, but not much at all.

iakumc
Hi Thom, I really loved WHAT? WATT? WHERE? WARE?. Great job! I am Graduate student at KU and would like to use the script for a performance in one of the student organizations, if that is OK with you. Thanks a lot, Archana

Kristen Chan (not verified)
Ha! I like this skit. Hey Thom, could my friend and I use your skit for our show? We gotta get the OK from you first so... reply ASAP! :D

Gr Cho (not verified)
This is a great skit! Can I use it at a school event? I'm a high school student and the school's sponsoring a talent show this year. hope you reply! Thanks.

tjo123
I love the skit! Can I please use it for my performance of group interpretation with my sister for our High School Forensics Competition?

Cedar
Hey Thom me and my friend love this skit and we were wondering if we could use it for our high school forensics competition? We would really appreciate it

angel moore (not verified)
hi i love your skit just love it so hilarious

TDayton
My sixth graders are asking to do this skit for a talent show. I joined the community, but I am so technology illiterate, I do not know how to leave a comment except through this. I'm sorry.

Irwin Lengel (not verified)
Loved the skit. We are looking to fill a spot in our upcoming talent show (basically just some of the residents showing off their talents such as singing, dancing, reciting poetry and the like) and this would be perfect. The date is later this month and I would appreciate it if we could have your permission to use this skit in the show.

Noah Horne-Morris (not verified)
This is just perfect! Please may I have permission to use this script in a school comedy performance?

Stacey (not verified)
Great Skit! Would love to use it at an out at church?

Wanita (not verified)
AWESOME! Could I please have permission to use this for a performing arts camp?!

Popo (not verified)
This script was awesome! Can we use it for a performance?

SH Teo (not verified)
Can't stop laughing every 2 - 3 sentences....the best so far....I like to have permission to use it for our upcoming talent show.

Nhu Pham (not verified)
Hello Mr. Goddard, I am a college student who would like to use your piece for my performance studies course. May I have permission to perform in my course?

aaliyah and jade (not verified)
hi we have a comedy and I was wondering if we can use your rediculosly awesome scriipt

ricel (not verified)
Can I use for our stage play..this is very hilarious!

shannon (not verified)
hi! i love this piece do you mind if i use it for an NJDFL competition? i need a comedy pair and this is perfect!

Alvin (not verified)
NIce comedy script! Can i borrow it 4 my presentation?

thesoundofdrums
Hey Thom, May I use this for a theatre audition for me and my classmate?

vedanti (not verified)
very confusing script..........................

M.A (not verified)
Hey, can I use this in my drama class?

L.M. (not verified)
Fantastic script, very fond. I'd love to use it in an 'events night' performance at my university if that's ok? I'll fully credit

singing614
hi thom i really liked your script and wanted to know if we could use it for our schools winter one acts let me know soon please

SwaggyBear69 (not verified)
Please may I use this for my drama scholarship? Its fantastic and I will be truly grateful if I may use it!

SwaggyBear69 (not verified)
Thank you thom, this is a masterpiece. My drama scholarship is in 3 weeks now and I am very confident!

SwaggyBear69 (not verified)
Thank you thom, this is a masterpiece. My drama scholarship is in 3 weeks now and I am very confident!

Ash (not verified)
TOTALLY AWESOME SCRIPT...I AM GONNA HAV AN AUDITION IN A FEW DAYS AND I DEFINITEY WANT TO DO THIS..!!! PLS CAN I??

Lisa (not verified)
My daughter would like permission to use your skit in her junior high program...along with her friend of course. Thank you, Lisa

poo (not verified)
Good script love it!!!!

Joey and Hattie (not verified)
We would like permission to use your skit for a high school forensics meet. Thank you.

Isabella Lau (not verified)
Hi Thom! I'm participating in the duo category of a speech and debate competition and my partner and I would love to have your speech as a possible choice. Could you get back and tell us if we could use your writing? Thank you!

Myka (not verified)
Can I have the permission to use this script? I'll be performing it with my partner in a duo interpretation for National Junior Forensic League also known as NJFL.

jessica (not verified)
can i have permission to use this script? I loved it! I want to do it for an end of the year school play for drama club in my university. thank you!

alexandria diehl (not verified)
I would like permission to use your script for a variety show at my church. Love it!

Ghogho
Can I use it but with different street names and a little changes because I have to make a skit in school? I mean yours is hilarious but I can't cop and paste it :(

Ghogho
^copy and paste it

lexi (not verified)
I love this can I use this in my talent show

aneesa ledoux (not verified)
hey um, can u help me out I need a graduation skit script based on friends/friendship .thankz

musodoc
Hi Thom, I love this script and would love to use this in a review for a group who do comedy sketches for charity in the uk. Could I have your permission to use this please Thanks

Ra Calindas (not verified)
Can I use this for our play in School? Thanks

Alleyvalley (not verified)
Hey can you please grant me permission to use your magnificent little skit for my high achieving drama class?reply ASAP if you can,thank you

Mary (not verified)
Hi, I would love to use your skit for a talent show we are having this weekend. Can I pleas Have permission to use it?

Mary (not verified)
*Please*

Patti C (not verified)
was wanting to use this scrip for a comedy/talent show this June. I think enough of our women will remember the Whose on first to get a kick out of this. May I please have your permission to use it.

Daniel (not verified)
Hi Thom, Could I have your permission to use this sketch as part of a vaudeville variety show that my wife and I will be performing in this summer. We'll be in the Montreal and Toronto Fringe festivals? Hope to hear from you soon! Daniel

Chase (not verified)
Hey Thom I'd like to use this for my high schools student run showcase. It's an annual showcase, and our theme this year is humor and I believe this just might fit.

Lisa (not verified)
Mr Goddard, My daughter would like to use this script for speech class at her school. Can we please have your permission to use this skit/script?

Random Chick <3 (not verified)
I am using this skit for school!

Kim (not verified)
Hi Thom :) I was wondering if I could have your permission to use this script. My school talent show is coming up and I'm one of the hosts running the night. We need a skit to use in between items to keep the audience entertained, and I feel in love with this script. It was so funny and it is the perfect thing! Would very much appreciate it, Thanks.

Kim (not verified)
Thankyou so much Thom! We will be sure to acknowledge you on the night :)

muielah (not verified)
May I plz use this piece for school

sally Walker (not verified)
I am hoping I might, with your permission use this as an entertainment at our Womens institute meeting next month. It has a local relevance as one of our local towns is Street and any of use who have lived there have experienced a similar conversation!

Tay (not verified)
I was wondering if I can adapt this into a YouTube sketch video. all writing credentials will go to you.

wawa (not verified)
I would like to have permission to use it for our upcoming drama show. Its is very interesting. May I use it?

Mollie h (not verified)
OMG! I love this script! PLEASA can my friend and I use it for our taken show thx!!!!

thomgoddard
"PLEASA"? Who is this, Jar Jar Binks? Mollie H, do use the script and give credit. Cheers

Savannah (not verified)
I love this!! I am doing a theatre variety show and I am asking if I can use this as one of the skits for the show? I will definitely give credit :)

Lisa S (not verified)
This is hilarious! May I use this please (for small talent show--my talent is small so I will fit right in) I will make it clear that the real talent is you.

Seize The Day (not verified)
I would like to use this skit for my clown school. May I have your permission?

Karen Lyne (not verified)
I belong to a fraternal organization and would like to use this for a meeting as entertainment. May I use it! So funny I loved it. I think the people I would tell it to would think so too!

Hana (not verified)
Hey, my school puts on this performance called "Follies," and my twin sister and I have been really wanting to use this skit. We've looked at ao many, but none are as great as this, so may we please use it?

thomgoddard
@Hana - flattery will get you anywhere... so please do use it. If you are broadcast on Youtube or elsewhere online please give credit.

cfhoag
Thom, First, wonderful skit! Second, fabulous avatar. Thirdly, may I use this skit in a variety production to be performed in Washington, DC in June 2016? I would, of course, give credit to you in the programme.

thomgoddard
@Charles... oh you! Do use it and I hope it is successful. All best

K. and D. Wanish (not verified)
This is wonderful and exactly what we are looking for to add smiles to the audience. May we have permission to use this for a 4-H performance?

SOLeary
Hello, My students loved the Dissected Chicken Joke so much that we're hoping that we can perform this one for a small in-school audience as well! Obviously, credit will be given again. Thanks!

Hannah (not verified)
This is such a great skit! May I please have permission to use this for our school talent show? I will of course give credit to your name!

thomgoddard
@Hannah - if you're going to give credit then of course you can! I hope you win the talent show.

Naamah (not verified)
Hi, I am having a high school grad party this Sat July, 23. I love your skit and was wondering whether I can get permission from you to use it at my grad. i will be sure to recognize your name. Please let me know as soon as possible. Thanks

thomgoddard
@Naamah - you can use it and make people laugh. All best

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