What? Watt? Where? Ware?

What? Watt? Where? Ware?

(5m)   by thomgoddard
 

Comedy Skits   (222888 Views 102 Comments)

A person calls for roadside assistance after breaking down on Watt Street in Ware, Georgia.

Caller: Hello? Hello?

Dispatcher: Hello... are you there?

C: Oh, hello.

D: Yes, hello.

C: Oh, thank goodness.

D: Can I help you?

C: Yes, yes.˜

D: What can I help you with?

C: My car has broken down.

D: What seems to be the problem.

C: Well... my car won?t work.

D: Yes, I realise.

C: There?s no need to be like that.

D: Sorry. What has happened?

C: I was just driving along and the car died.

D: Dead?

C: Stopped working. Conked out. Kapput!

D: There?s no need to be like that.

C: Sorry. The car has stopped working and I need roadside help.

D: Of course. That?s what we do.

C: Excellent!

D: I just need some details. Where are you?

C: Yes.

D: I mean what town.

C: Ware.

D: The place you?ve broken down?

C: Ware.

D: The name of the place you standing right now?

C: I am in Ware.

D: What are you asking me for?

C: I?m not asking you, I?m telling you.˜

D: Where?

C: That?s the name.

D: Where?s name.

C: Yeah.

D: Well go ahead and tell me.

C: That?s it.

D: That?s where?

C: Precisely.

D: Look do you actually own a car?

C: What kind of question is that? Of course I own a car. And it?s broken down.

D: Where?s it broken down.

C: That?s right.

D: Is it?

C: Yes.

D: Look, when the repair man comes out to your car, where do you want him to go?

C: Straight there.

D: Where?

C: There.

D: The car?

C: Yes. Now you?ve got it.

D: Got it? Where?

C: YES!

D: Ok. Do you have sat nav?

C: Yes.

D: When your sat nav finds the car, where does it say it is?

C: Ware.

D: The sat nav.

C: Ware.

D: The satellite navigation.

C: In Ware.

D: What are you asking me for?

C: I?m not asking you, I?m telling you!

D: Fine. Forget the town.

C: No, not Forget...

D: I?m mean, let?s move on.

C: Ok.

D: What?s the name of the street?

C: How did you know that?

D: What?

C: Yes.

D: Pardon?

C: No, Watt... Street.

D: What are you asking me for?

C: I?m not asking you, I?m telling you!

D: You?re not telling me anything.

C: I?m telling you everything. Now I?m on Watt Street.

D: I don?t know.

C: Why not I just told you.

D: Told me?

C: Yes.

D: Told me what?

C: Yes.

D: What?

C: That?s it.

D: The name of the street?

C: Spot on.

D: Spot on?

C: Spot on.

D: So, now we?re getting somewhere. Spot On Street. Now what?s the name of the town?

C: No, that?s the name of the street!

D: What is?

C: Yes.

D: Yes?

C: Yes.

D: So, Yes Street in what town?

C: No, Watt Street, Ware.

D: What are you asking me for?

C: I?m not asking you!

D: Ok, this is getting us nowhere.

C: No, just Ware.

D: Ok.

C: Ok? You?ve got it?

D: Say I am driving to you what sign should I look out for?

C: Ware.

D: When I?m driving to you?

C: Ware.

D: Driving to you.

C: Ware.

D: Oh, let?s not start this again.

C: No... the car won?t start. That?s the problem.

D: Is there a sign on the road?

C: Yes.

D: What does it say?

C: Watt.

D: The sign.

C: Watt.

D: The sign on the road.

C: Watt.

D: READ OUT THE LETTERING ON THE ROAD SIGN.

C: Watt Street.

D: YES, ON THE STREET.

C: Watt Street.

D: THE STREET YOU?RE STANDING ON!

C: Watt Street.

D: Oh, I can?t take this any more. I?m going to tell the repair man whatever you tell me.

C: Excellent. This has taken a very long time.

D: Where is the town.

C: Yes.

D: Yes Town?

C: No, Ware.

D: Where Town?

C: Do you have difficulty understanding English?

D: No, why?

C: Where Town. Me on phone. You listen.

D: What?

C: Yes, that?s the street.

D: Ok, you are on What Street in Where.

C: Now that?s the first thing you?ve said right.

D: I don?t even know what I?m talking about!

C: But that?s perfect - Watt Street, Ware.

D: Please don?t start that again.

C: No problem.

D: So lastly, your name?

C: Annie / Mike (depending on actors).

D: Ok, Annie / Mike wha... Do you have a surname?

C: Place / Orr.

D: Annie Place / Mike Or... Any Place? / My Car? Goodnight!!!

Note: For performances in the UK the road is Watt Street in Ware, Hertfordshire.

? Written by Thom Goddard in 2001

Comedy Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
Public

Author's Message

Please contact me through iComedyTV if you want to use this script. No contact = no permission

Copyright Statement

Funny👍



Comments

   

Submitted by Sarah (not verified) on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 03:42
i love this one, its confusing but absulutly hilarious!
Submitted by amey (not verified) on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 21:03
wow i love this script it is so funny! Do you mind if me and my mate use it on our show??
Submitted by bap459 on Tue, 05/08/2012 - 05:51
I would like to ask permission to use this at a dinner my National Honor Society is hosting at a public school. The audience is projected to be 57 honorees and their parents. I have always loved the Who's on first routine- but loved reading this one- and we all know about car troubles. I will have to locate the other two you mentioned in your post of 5-8. Oops- just realized I used my school name instead of adding in the a for my yahoo.com address. baproeger@yahoo.com
Submitted by Maria (not verified) on Thu, 05/10/2012 - 13:12
Hi! I really really love this script. Do you mind if I use it for my drama performances? Please let me know no later than Saturday. Thank you very much!
Submitted by prince441989 on Sun, 05/13/2012 - 09:58
can i use your script plz thom i love love it so much!!!!! plzzzz
Submitted by Eddie (not verified) on Sun, 05/20/2012 - 12:32
Thom Love your script!!! would love to use it if you would be so kind Eddie
Submitted by Eddie (not verified) on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 06:01
Thom Thank you very much will use to good advantage and give credit where credit is dew, again thanks, would love to have more with two or three people in them if you so choose... Eddie
Submitted by Aamah on Tue, 07/03/2012 - 07:10
Hi Thom, I'm directing a Variety Show for the Coach House Players, a community theater group in Kingston, NY in August and I'd like to use this bit with your permission. It's right up there with "who's on first" and it doesn't get much funnier than that! Of course, you will be credited. Thanks
Submitted by PIYALI (not verified) on Tue, 07/17/2012 - 03:05
HI, A good comedy could not get better!!!! Just seeking permission for my boys to perform this as a part of the inter-school contest here at Kolkata. I just fell in love with this non caustic humour. God Bless you.... and awaiting your kind permission.
Submitted by keeley (not verified) on Sat, 07/21/2012 - 04:38
Canning plz use this script as a performence
Submitted by Vijay (not verified) on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 01:11
very funny script . is it okay if i borrow this for my school project
Submitted by BNGislamicboy on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 19:01
This made me laugh every 2 to 3 lines! You're very talented! I was hoping you would give me permission to use this in an animation I am making for a school project. I will be sure to credit you if I am given permission to use this script.
Submitted by CDW.Mcculloch on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 06:13
Very very funny. I loved it
Submitted by Jean McMeel (not verified) on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 14:34
i really like this script! Do you mind if i use this at the Probus christmas breakup?
Submitted by taylorandvealfilms on Sat, 08/18/2012 - 05:44
Hey, awesome script, could we use it in a Video
Submitted by alex (not verified) on Sun, 09/16/2012 - 02:35
its really confusing
Submitted by Jieun Park (not verified) on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 03:15
Hi Thom Goddard. This is such a brilliant comedy script. I love it. I want to perform a play using this script in my theater art 100 class. Can I please have your permission to use this?
Submitted by Bianca (not verified) on Tue, 09/18/2012 - 07:43
I loved this script. I was laughing the whole time i read it. I was wondering if it'd be okay to use it for my theatre class?
Submitted by Bianca (not verified) on Tue, 09/18/2012 - 07:44
I loved this script. I was laughing the whole time i read it. I was wondering if it'd be okay to use it for my theatre class?
Submitted by Darthjac on Thu, 09/20/2012 - 04:19
I would like permission to use this for my Homeschooling dram performance. I have 2 students, and this would be perfect for them. They are 2 boys so I may have to make a few alterations, but not much at all.
Submitted by iakumc on Sun, 10/14/2012 - 12:14
Hi Thom, I really loved WHAT? WATT? WHERE? WARE?. Great job! I am Graduate student at KU and would like to use the script for a performance in one of the student organizations, if that is OK with you. Thanks a lot, Archana
Submitted by Kristen Chan (not verified) on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 16:42
Ha! I like this skit. Hey Thom, could my friend and I use your skit for our show? We gotta get the OK from you first so... reply ASAP! :D
Submitted by Gr Cho (not verified) on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 00:35
This is a great skit! Can I use it at a school event? I'm a high school student and the school's sponsoring a talent show this year. hope you reply! Thanks.
Submitted by tjo123 on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 11:13
I love the skit! Can I please use it for my performance of group interpretation with my sister for our High School Forensics Competition?
Submitted by Cedar on Sun, 01/06/2013 - 12:27
Hey Thom me and my friend love this skit and we were wondering if we could use it for our high school forensics competition? We would really appreciate it
Submitted by angel moore (not verified) on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 02:30
hi i love your skit just love it so hilarious
Submitted by TDayton on Fri, 01/11/2013 - 05:36
My sixth graders are asking to do this skit for a talent show. I joined the community, but I am so technology illiterate, I do not know how to leave a comment except through this. I'm sorry.
Submitted by Irwin Lengel (not verified) on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 02:00
Loved the skit. We are looking to fill a spot in our upcoming talent show (basically just some of the residents showing off their talents such as singing, dancing, reciting poetry and the like) and this would be perfect. The date is later this month and I would appreciate it if we could have your permission to use this skit in the show.
Submitted by Noah Horne-Morris (not verified) on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 05:10
This is just perfect! Please may I have permission to use this script in a school comedy performance?
Submitted by Stacey (not verified) on Sat, 02/16/2013 - 00:22
Great Skit! Would love to use it at an out at church?
Submitted by Wanita (not verified) on Mon, 02/25/2013 - 12:27
AWESOME! Could I please have permission to use this for a performing arts camp?!
Submitted by Popo (not verified) on Sun, 03/03/2013 - 14:06
This script was awesome! Can we use it for a performance?
Submitted by SH Teo (not verified) on Mon, 03/04/2013 - 12:59
Can't stop laughing every 2 - 3 sentences....the best so far....I like to have permission to use it for our upcoming talent show.
Submitted by Nhu Pham (not verified) on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 07:26
Hello Mr. Goddard, I am a college student who would like to use your piece for my performance studies course. May I have permission to perform in my course?
Submitted by aaliyah and jade (not verified) on Thu, 04/18/2013 - 11:14
hi we have a comedy and I was wondering if we can use your rediculosly awesome scriipt
Submitted by ricel (not verified) on Wed, 05/22/2013 - 02:42
Can I use for our stage play..this is very hilarious!
Submitted by shannon (not verified) on Mon, 08/05/2013 - 08:40
hi! i love this piece do you mind if i use it for an NJDFL competition? i need a comedy pair and this is perfect!
Submitted by Alvin (not verified) on Thu, 08/22/2013 - 17:54
NIce comedy script! Can i borrow it 4 my presentation?
Submitted by thesoundofdrums on Tue, 09/03/2013 - 11:17
Hey Thom, May I use this for a theatre audition for me and my classmate?
Submitted by vedanti (not verified) on Tue, 10/08/2013 - 01:37
very confusing script..........................
Submitted by M.A (not verified) on Sun, 10/13/2013 - 15:31
Hey, can I use this in my drama class?
Submitted by L.M. (not verified) on Sat, 11/16/2013 - 09:52
Fantastic script, very fond. I'd love to use it in an 'events night' performance at my university if that's ok? I'll fully credit
Submitted by singing614 on Sun, 11/24/2013 - 06:19
hi thom i really liked your script and wanted to know if we could use it for our schools winter one acts let me know soon please
Submitted by SwaggyBear69 (not verified) on Fri, 12/13/2013 - 21:30
Please may I use this for my drama scholarship? Its fantastic and I will be truly grateful if I may use it!
Submitted by SwaggyBear69 (not verified) on Wed, 12/18/2013 - 00:00
Thank you thom, this is a masterpiece. My drama scholarship is in 3 weeks now and I am very confident!
Submitted by SwaggyBear69 (not verified) on Wed, 12/18/2013 - 00:00
Thank you thom, this is a masterpiece. My drama scholarship is in 3 weeks now and I am very confident!
Submitted by Ash (not verified) on Tue, 01/07/2014 - 23:23
TOTALLY AWESOME SCRIPT...I AM GONNA HAV AN AUDITION IN A FEW DAYS AND I DEFINITEY WANT TO DO THIS..!!! PLS CAN I??
Submitted by Lisa (not verified) on Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:43
My daughter would like permission to use your skit in her junior high program...along with her friend of course. Thank you, Lisa
Submitted by poo (not verified) on Wed, 02/12/2014 - 08:05
Good script love it!!!!
Submitted by Joey and Hattie (not verified) on Sun, 02/23/2014 - 13:57
We would like permission to use your skit for a high school forensics meet. Thank you.
Submitted by Isabella Lau (not verified) on Tue, 03/04/2014 - 14:41
Hi Thom! I'm participating in the duo category of a speech and debate competition and my partner and I would love to have your speech as a possible choice. Could you get back and tell us if we could use your writing? Thank you!
Submitted by Myka (not verified) on Tue, 04/01/2014 - 10:31
Can I have the permission to use this script? I'll be performing it with my partner in a duo interpretation for National Junior Forensic League also known as NJFL.
Submitted by jessica (not verified) on Wed, 05/28/2014 - 19:47
can i have permission to use this script? I loved it! I want to do it for an end of the year school play for drama club in my university. thank you!
Submitted by alexandria diehl (not verified) on Wed, 11/05/2014 - 13:23
I would like permission to use your script for a variety show at my church. Love it!
Submitted by Ghogho on Fri, 11/07/2014 - 10:03
Can I use it but with different street names and a little changes because I have to make a skit in school? I mean yours is hilarious but I can't cop and paste it :(
Submitted by Ghogho on Fri, 11/07/2014 - 10:05
^copy and paste it
Submitted by lexi (not verified) on Sun, 11/09/2014 - 08:11
I love this can I use this in my talent show
Submitted by aneesa ledoux (not verified) on Sun, 11/16/2014 - 02:08
hey um, can u help me out I need a graduation skit script based on friends/friendship .thankz
Submitted by musodoc on Mon, 11/24/2014 - 07:35
Hi Thom, I love this script and would love to use this in a review for a group who do comedy sketches for charity in the uk. Could I have your permission to use this please Thanks
Submitted by Ra Calindas (not verified) on Tue, 11/25/2014 - 20:48
Can I use this for our play in School? Thanks
Submitted by Alleyvalley (not verified) on Tue, 12/02/2014 - 13:17
Hey can you please grant me permission to use your magnificent little skit for my high achieving drama class?reply ASAP if you can,thank you
Submitted by Mary (not verified) on Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:14
Hi, I would love to use your skit for a talent show we are having this weekend. Can I pleas Have permission to use it?
Submitted by Mary (not verified) on Tue, 12/09/2014 - 11:15
*Please*
Submitted by Patti C (not verified) on Tue, 02/17/2015 - 06:40
was wanting to use this scrip for a comedy/talent show this June. I think enough of our women will remember the Whose on first to get a kick out of this. May I please have your permission to use it.
Submitted by Daniel (not verified) on Fri, 02/27/2015 - 06:02
Hi Thom, Could I have your permission to use this sketch as part of a vaudeville variety show that my wife and I will be performing in this summer. We'll be in the Montreal and Toronto Fringe festivals? Hope to hear from you soon! Daniel
Submitted by Chase (not verified) on Tue, 03/03/2015 - 09:13
Hey Thom I'd like to use this for my high schools student run showcase. It's an annual showcase, and our theme this year is humor and I believe this just might fit.
Submitted by Lisa (not verified) on Thu, 03/05/2015 - 09:33
Mr Goddard, My daughter would like to use this script for speech class at her school. Can we please have your permission to use this skit/script?
Submitted by Random Chick <3 (not verified) on Tue, 04/14/2015 - 04:57
I am using this skit for school!
Submitted by Kim (not verified) on Sun, 04/26/2015 - 20:53
Hi Thom :) I was wondering if I could have your permission to use this script. My school talent show is coming up and I'm one of the hosts running the night. We need a skit to use in between items to keep the audience entertained, and I feel in love with this script. It was so funny and it is the perfect thing! Would very much appreciate it, Thanks.
Submitted by Kim (not verified) on Sun, 04/26/2015 - 23:17
Thankyou so much Thom! We will be sure to acknowledge you on the night :)
Submitted by muielah (not verified) on Sun, 05/24/2015 - 08:37
May I plz use this piece for school
Submitted by sally Walker (not verified) on Wed, 06/03/2015 - 06:19
I am hoping I might, with your permission use this as an entertainment at our Womens institute meeting next month. It has a local relevance as one of our local towns is Street and any of use who have lived there have experienced a similar conversation!
Submitted by Tay (not verified) on Fri, 06/05/2015 - 12:05
I was wondering if I can adapt this into a YouTube sketch video. all writing credentials will go to you.
Submitted by wawa (not verified) on Tue, 06/16/2015 - 15:44
I would like to have permission to use it for our upcoming drama show. Its is very interesting. May I use it?
Submitted by Mollie h (not verified) on Mon, 06/22/2015 - 07:18
OMG! I love this script! PLEASA can my friend and I use it for our taken show thx!!!!
Submitted by thomgoddard on Mon, 06/22/2015 - 21:00
"PLEASA"? Who is this, Jar Jar Binks? Mollie H, do use the script and give credit. Cheers
Submitted by Savannah (not verified) on Wed, 09/16/2015 - 14:38
I love this!! I am doing a theatre variety show and I am asking if I can use this as one of the skits for the show? I will definitely give credit :)
Submitted by Lisa S (not verified) on Wed, 09/23/2015 - 06:33
This is hilarious! May I use this please (for small talent show--my talent is small so I will fit right in) I will make it clear that the real talent is you.
Submitted by Seize The Day (not verified) on Fri, 09/25/2015 - 16:07
I would like to use this skit for my clown school. May I have your permission?
Submitted by Karen Lyne (not verified) on Sun, 10/04/2015 - 01:28
I belong to a fraternal organization and would like to use this for a meeting as entertainment. May I use it! So funny I loved it. I think the people I would tell it to would think so too!
Submitted by Hana (not verified) on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 08:55
Hey, my school puts on this performance called "Follies," and my twin sister and I have been really wanting to use this skit. We've looked at ao many, but none are as great as this, so may we please use it?
Submitted by thomgoddard on Fri, 01/08/2016 - 02:10
@Hana - flattery will get you anywhere... so please do use it. If you are broadcast on Youtube or elsewhere online please give credit.
Submitted by cfhoag on Sat, 02/27/2016 - 11:23
Thom, First, wonderful skit! Second, fabulous avatar. Thirdly, may I use this skit in a variety production to be performed in Washington, DC in June 2016? I would, of course, give credit to you in the programme.
Submitted by thomgoddard on Sun, 02/28/2016 - 19:40
@Charles... oh you! Do use it and I hope it is successful. All best
Submitted by K. and D. Wanish (not verified) on Fri, 04/22/2016 - 02:36
This is wonderful and exactly what we are looking for to add smiles to the audience. May we have permission to use this for a 4-H performance?
Submitted by SOLeary on Mon, 05/02/2016 - 01:19
Hello, My students loved the Dissected Chicken Joke so much that we're hoping that we can perform this one for a small in-school audience as well! Obviously, credit will be given again. Thanks!
Submitted by Hannah (not verified) on Thu, 05/19/2016 - 06:08
This is such a great skit! May I please have permission to use this for our school talent show? I will of course give credit to your name!
Submitted by thomgoddard on Thu, 05/19/2016 - 08:59
@Hannah - if you're going to give credit then of course you can! I hope you win the talent show.
Submitted by Naamah (not verified) on Mon, 07/18/2016 - 07:17
Hi, I am having a high school grad party this Sat July, 23. I love your skit and was wondering whether I can get permission from you to use it at my grad. i will be sure to recognize your name. Please let me know as soon as possible. Thanks
Submitted by thomgoddard on Mon, 07/18/2016 - 21:36
@Naamah - you can use it and make people laugh. All best
Submitted by jenfairgreen on Wed, 04/26/2017 - 05:54
Requesting permission to use this script for an elementary/middle school talent show. Thanks in advance!
Submitted by jenfairgreen on Wed, 04/26/2017 - 05:55
And of course, I will credit you with writing the script!
Submitted by thomgoddard on Thu, 04/27/2017 - 03:48
@jenfairgreen - no problem, I hope it's a success. All best
Submitted by flatlands on Sun, 06/04/2017 - 00:53
Would it be possible to use this piece for an outdoor radio drama style comedy night? It will be free for the community audience. If it is alright to perform, we are in Canada and wondered if it would be alright to say GPS (Global Positioning System) instead of sat nav? We will be thanking the authors through our MC at the beginning of the evening. Thank you for considering our request. flatlands theatre company
Submitted by thomgoddard on Wed, 06/07/2017 - 01:40
@flatlands - that sounds good, thanks for the credit and no problem for the change. Hope it's a success.
Submitted by AL Miller on Mon, 07/10/2017 - 21:36
Hey! I loved your script. Would it be alright if I asked for permission to use it for a show my church is putting on? Thanks!
Submitted by AL Miller on Mon, 07/10/2017 - 21:38
And my friend and I will be sure to tell our audience your name for the credit
Submitted by thomgoddard on Thu, 07/13/2017 - 13:06
@AL Miller - sure and thanks for the mention. Wherever you are
Submitted by oyesannaa_9525 on Fri, 08/11/2017 - 21:19
Hi, my friend and I are participating in a duologue competition in one weeks time and we were wondering if we could use your script as we absolutely love it! It will be sourced and name would be mentioned in the process. Thank you!
Submitted by thomgoddard on Fri, 08/11/2017 - 23:38
@oyesannaa - no problem, thanks for the credit and good luck!
Submitted by mommasears_99 on Tue, 02/27/2018 - 10:09
Such a fun script. My daughter and her friend would love to preform this for their school with your permission.
Submitted by thomgoddard on Tue, 02/27/2018 - 13:18
@mommasears - no problem. They can use it and I hope they have lots of fun with it!

5m Comedy Skits - What? Watt? Where? Ware?