()   by restisaweapon

Comedy Monologues   (161585 Views 85 Comments)

I really like their strong coffee But it's more than that. There's the whole experience

First I have to deal with that line up.

Depending on the location and time of day

Your gonna find about 6 to 8 people in that line up.

Well that's when Starbucks does this curious thing...

They're aware they have 8 or so people standing in line.

When they elect to greet every single person with a question.

Oh and not...What would you like to order?

No, it's... “Welcome to Starbucks, How are you today?”

Ya know I hear them asking this to each person…

And I think to myself as ‘number 8' in line...

*what if someone isn't having a good day here?*

The odds are this is very possible you know.

So I'll start checking the people in line, before me.

Looking for any signs of emotional instability

Because with my luck some girl will burst into tears,

Having busted up with her boyfriend or something.

I just think this is a risky question to be askin,

while other people are waiting in line behind.

And when my turn finally comes up? I'm never ready to order.

I know I'm supposed to use that time in line deciding on my drink.

But for some reason... I find myself thinking about all kinds of other stuff.

First I scan the room; see who's here. Anybody I know?

But I'm careful not make eye contact cuz I haven't got time for chitchat

Or I check out how stressed the Baristas are trying to keep the line from growing out the door.

Anyway I always use my line-up time thinking about other stuff

So by the time they ask for my order, well I'm ready to look at the menu.

It pisses people off, I know, but it's just the way I roll. OK?

So I've placed my order; now this is where Starbucks resembles a walk-in clinic

Having been through the waiting room, you don't get the drink right away...

Comedy Type: Humor Type: Post date: Script Market:

Copyright Statement




Anonymous (not verified)
hey i really liked this and i was wondering if i could use the full version for school? :)

Hello! I was looking for monologues for a school performance and I found this one. I really liked it but i need the entire version in order to perform. So i wanted to ask if I may use the full version for this performance? I would really appreciate it. Thanks.

Hi! I was wondering if I might be able to use the full version of this script for a school performance? I really enjoyed it and would appreciate it! Let me know! Thanks!

hy there! i really like your script! may i use it for my public speaking competition? its in two weeks time... well one week i guess.... though i cant fully read it cause you havent approe me as your friend yet!! thanks!!

Wow lee_shin, that comment shows me you have a writing gift. You should be doing monologues! Sure you can use it. I'll make friends with you right now. And can I get your autograph now (before you become famous and want nothing to do with me)?

really? LOL your comment reallyy flatters me.. though my english arent quite good...

hi i was just wondering weather i could use your material here ^^ for a school performance, would be much appreciated if you could accept me as a friend so i can do so that would be great, its fantastic by the way ! cheers

No problem Teniell, I always give permission for amateur uses of my scripts like school and actor auditions. But reserve any professional uses for myself. Have fun with it!

Evangelina Lomas (not verified)
I really enjoyed this! Extremely brilliant and funny. I was wondering if it would be okay if i could get the full version for a college presentation for my speech class. I do have a do a bibliography so your name & everything else will be stated. Thank You & I hope you allow me to use this piece.

fernandoo (not verified)
fernandoooo err waahhhhhh

fernandoooo is ... (not verified)
hey i love your story can i use it in my speech calss? (: p.s: im hungry and idnt have any food ;(

Ona (not verified)
may i use this for a high school audition monologue??

Skyler McKinnon
I really enjoyed this and I have a comedy discussion contest that i'd love to read this at! It's perfectly fits my personality and i'd love to comically deliver this haha i can't figure out how to become your friend on here :/ May I use your monologue? It would mean a great deal.

Heyy I love this script! I was wondering if I could possible use it for districts in oregon? Its a high school compition and I would love to be able to do this!

Liam (not verified)
Hi, I was reading your script and was wondering if I may please use it for a year 12 drama preformance? my email is if you could please contact me whether or not I may use the piece as I probably don't check this website much. Thanks so much :)

Good morning! I was wondering if my students may use ur full script to pratice for a middle school event. If possible plz email me Thank u

i love this script. i need to use it for my competitive speech for humorous prose but i cant read the whole script. please friend me.

Joseph (not verified)
Hi! I'm 10 and I'm addicted to Starbucks. My favorite drink is the Iced Pumpkin Spiced Latte. When I was in Seattle, I went to visit the 1st Starbucks ever. I was their first customer that day. I saved my 2 cups, and my dads. They are in my room. I would love, love, love to use your speech at my school speech contest because it is funny and there are no bad words in it. Will you friend me so I can get the full text? Thanks! PS, I once made a film called "Los Alamos Jones and the Elixir of Life." The elixir turns out to be caffeine. You can watch it on You Tube.

Hi! This is Joseph again. I realized I have to be a member for you to friend me. Now I am one (a member).

Would it be alright if I used this for a free comedy night at my high school? I'm in my fourth year of theatre classes, and would love to try this one. I have searched EVERYWHERE for a comedic monologue, and honestly, I think I'm in love with this one. It's so well written, and I really would love to perform it. Please let me know about the full version, etc and if I can perform it or not. Thanks so much! You can contact me on here or at

Maddie (not verified)
Hi Don! I have to perform a monologue in my theater arts class and I would love to do this one. So funny and relatable. (: So I was wondering if I could have your permission to perform this at school and see the full version. I'm at school currently so I can't friend you now - but I will later haha. Thanks!

Jacob (not verified)
Hey I loved this!!! I was wondering if I could have a full version for school? Thank you!!

Could I use the full version for my school acting class?

Don, please add me as your friend so I can view full version and decide what to use for monologue at retreat. Thank you so much!!!

Marilyn (not verified)
I really liked this skit and want to know if I can use it for the Senior Center Talent Show .. Please can I view full version. Thank You so much! Marilyn

Sure Marilyn but you need to join the community first. Then become my friend "creepy eh?" Then the full version will be available to see. Don

Your monologues are sooooo relevant. Can I use one of them in a senior citizens show please. Can you also add me as a friend please.

hey can you please approve my request because i love this monologue and it is perfect for my drama final. thank you! ~Taylor

Don Mcdonald (not verified)
Oh alright ;-)

Patrick (not verified)
hi i was wondering if I could use the monologue for an audition. I can't really see the full version right now but if you could please send the full version to my email at: that would be awesome. I really love your style of writing by the way! -Thanks

Libby (not verified)
Hey!!! I was just wondering if I could use this for my Fine Arts Competition??? Please let me know!!! Thanks!!!!

Sure but to access full version you need to become a friend

daniel usher (not verified)
i would like to use this for myself

Leah (not verified)
I would like to use your piece to audition with, may I have the full copy? (p.s we're already friends and it won't show.)

Hi there! I've read through this monologue so far it's really funny and I was hoping to use it as my second monologue for drama, I've sent you a friend request and I'd be extremely glad if you could accept so I can see the full thing :) Thanks

Hi there, I am interested in seeing your full Starbucks monologue, I have sent the friend and community request. thanks

Hi :) You've added me but I can't view your full script

Anyon (not verified)
hey, would it be alright if i used one of your monologues for an audition i have? I really like the irony in this one and some of the others are funny too. Thanks!

Chelsea Robinson (not verified)
Hi! I've been researching for an hour trying to find a comedic monologue, and this one IS PERFECT. I would love to have your permission to use it in my drama class for an audition. Thank yoU!

Hi I love this monologue and would love to use it for a really important audition I have in early October! I would love your permission! thankyou :)

Laura (not verified)
hi I love this monologue and i have and audition this monday for school would it be alright if i used your monolgue? thank you so much

Hi! i love this monologue, and i was wondering if it would be alright to use it for an upcoming drama audition i am doing for my school's drama club. Thank you!

This script would be perfect for my school monologue for drama, I would highly appreciate it if i could use this for that. Thanks!! :)

RayRayhhh (not verified)
Hi, I love this piece and was wondering weather I could have the full length for my school speech and debate? All credits will go to the author of corse.

Amber (not verified)

Sure Amber but you need to join the site and friend me first. Don
Hey I was wondering if I could use your starbucks speech for a school competition

May I please use your Starbucks and Camping monologues for high school forensics? I need the full version. Please instruct me o how to obtain the full version. I am like a duck out of water with "friending" and "posting" HELP!!!!

I need a script for school and I was wondering if I could use your Starbucks monologue. Could I please use the full version? Thank you :)

jean (not verified)
heyy! a really wonderful piece that i thoroughly enjoyed!! could i have your permission to use your script for an audition?

Hey Jean yes you can but to see the full version you need to join the icomedytv site, then friend me. To have access to the full version.

Jacob Fleming (not verified)
Can a 60 second cut of this be used in an audition? I would really love to try it, since it's so well written, and I'm having trouble finding other monologues.

Sure Jacob, I always allow auditioning actors and students to use the scripts I just reserve any professional use for myself. To access full view of the script you need to join the site and then friend me. Don

insiya (not verified)
HI, i was wondering if you could give me the full version of this script to use for my theatre tournament coming up on could i please use the full version?Thanks :)

Yendys (not verified)
Hey may I see the full version of this piece for a forensics selection?

Don (not verified)
Sure but to access full version you need to join the site and friend me.

hello (not verified)
Can you friend me so i can access the full version of this poem. Thanks

Hi Hello, I can't friend you as easily as you can friend me. There is no search for members of the site. So I would have to go through the member data base searching for you. So why don't you friend me instead? Don

hello (not verified)
Could you please accept my friend request. I friended you already. And could i use your script for my school.You are an amazing writer

Hi. I friended you and i wanted to use this script for school. Could you accept my friend request so i can use the poem. Thanks so much.

Hi, Could you please accept my friend request. Because i would like to use you script "Starbucks" and "cell phones" for my school. I love your writing styles!

can i use this in my speech class?

Hi Donald! I was wondering if I could use this monologue for an audition? I friended you and I hope you accept my request. You're super talented. Thank you!

Hi Donald, I was wondering if I could use this in full for a talent show at my school? Thank you.

samantha (not verified)
Hi don my name is Samantha.I was wondering if i could use this piece for my middle school forensics competitions pls. please respond as posible that would be great thanks.

Sure Samantha, You need to friend me on the site to see full version. Don

Hey Don, I just friended you! Was wondering if I could use this script? Love it, keep up the good work!

Can I use your free script for a high school final exam for my drama class?

Hi Lisa, yes you may but to see the full script you need to friend me on this site. Don

I really enjoyed starbucks can I use it as a script for school,I have added you as a friend

Melissa (not verified)
Can I have the full version of this for a high school play audition? Please?

Don McDonald (not verified)
Hi Melissa, yes you can use the full version. You need to join the site and friend me to access it. Don

I sent a friend request hoping to see the full version for my daughter to use at a middle school speech tournament. Let me know!

Got it - thanks! She likes it!

I was wondering if it was okay for me to use this for my school's speech league

I was wondering if I could use the full Version for a school drama presentation please! but I need you too accept my friend request to see the full version. thanks!

I love this!! May I have access to the full version, as I would love to use it for my voice & diction class project. Thanks!

Hi! I was wondering if I could have access to the full version for my speech class? Thank you!

Hello! I was wondering if I could be added to your friends list to see the full list. I have to do a monologue for school by June 1st, but it needs to be pre-approved tomorrow.

Hello! I was wondering if I would be able to use the full script for my drama class, I have sent in a friend request, thank you

ayyemaya (not verified)
Hilarious! If this isn't too much to ask but can I see the full version of this and use it in my drama class! That would be awesome :) thanks

Ally (not verified)
Hi there! I was looking around for funny pieces for my forensics group and this is the best one by far. Do you think I could use the full script for my group this year?

Dear restisa (?) I am very interested to see how this monologue ends and would love to use it if possible for a series of professional auditions. How could I get a full copy, and how much would you sell this skit for?

Alyssa Quaintance
I really like this may I use the full version for a school performance?

Hi. My daughter is a great fan of Starbucks and this monologue would be perfect for her to use as a speech for English class. Would you be so kind as to allow her to use the full version? It would be much appreciated. Thanks!

Comedy Monologues - Starbucks