Im Not Going to Write a Monolouge

Im Not Going to Write a Monolouge

(3.5m)   by Anonymous

Comedy Monologues   (131260 Views 61 Comments)

I don’t want to write a stupid monologue

This was for theatre arts. There are alot of inside jokes so you might not understand everything. like the whole hobbits in wonderland and the jk thing. Little things like that are always easy to change(: so good luck fellow actors (:

(Sits at table writing and then scratching things out) (Looks up than quickly looks down) (Writes more)

(Finally crumples paper and throws it). You know what? I’m just not gunna do it. (Stands up and walks downstage). Do you know how stressful it is to write a monologue? Especially when everyone knows it’s something that you have written.  And then there is all of you just sitting there watching me, judging everything I say. I am not gunna do it. It only counts for... (Looks down) a big part in my grade. I Have an A and if I just don’t do it I might end up with a B. (look worried) (goes back to table and sits down, sigh) what could I even talk about? (Takes out paper) uhm... puppies? Sparkles? Cupcakes? That’s not very dramatic. What is something dramatic?  The world ending? Divorce? Breaking with boyfriend? Mrs. James did say something about Hobbits in Wonderland.  I can’t relate to any of this. OH. Just to add more pressure I bet Mrs. James is expecting us to have stage directions. (Stand up) they have to make sense with the monologue.  If I am talking about divorce it wouldn’t make sense to just randomly walk to center stage.  (Looks of to the distance)Oh, Dad why are you doing this to me? I can’t believe you and mom are getting a divorce. (Walks center stage it’s my fault isn’t it? See it just doesn’t make any sense.  (Sit down)Also this monologue has to be at least three minutes. How am I supposed to talk for that long? Maybe just maybe (draw out words really long) if I talk really really slow. That will use up a bunch of my time. I suppose that’s gunna get annoying really fast.   So I have sat here for a while just trying to figure out what I could say. Oh my goodness. I should have a costume. I want a really cool costume. What could dress up as? I could dress up like like uh (look down) I don’t even know.  Maybe I can write a monologue about a rock. Just kidding I wasn’t going to write a rock. Just kidding I thought about it. Just kidding just kidding just kidding.  Well, I am just not going to write a monologue. Oh, would you look that? I just wrote a monologue. The worst part is this was my mom’s idea.

Comedy Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:

Author's Message

this was for theatre arts. There are a lot of inside jokes so you might not understand everything. like the whole hobbits in wonderland and the jk thing. Little things like that are always easy to change(: so good luck fellow actors (:

Copyright Statement



hi princess_pink! i just want to inform you that i was entertained by this monologue of yours and i would like to borrow this, for we are going to perform in our school a monologue. thank you so much! :D

Anonymous (not verified)
gracie. thanks(: and of course you can use it (:

thank you so much! this is of great help! :)

Jojo (not verified)
i love the monologue. can i use it? pleeeeeeeeease! Amazing and you are so gifted

Anonymous (not verified)
Dear JoJo, of course you may use this! and thank you very much(: Be sure to give credit to this site! no problem gracie(: break a leg!

Bailee (not verified)
Thank you soooooo much! My Lisa audition is in 3 days and I couldn't find anything!

Bailee (not verified)
If you don't mind I use it that is haha

Please :p

Amelia Lockwood (not verified)
Dear princess_pink, My forensics teacher LOVED this script when I used it to tryout! She said it would be a PERFECT competition piece if it wre only longer! Do you by chance have a longer version? Or can write a longer version? Thank You! Amelia Lockwood

Anonymous (not verified)
Bailee: Of course i dont mind(:....Hello BaileeCakes: you can use this too.......... Amelia, i actually do not have a longer version of this. The good thing about this monlouge is that you can easily subtract or in your case add in something(: So if you do indeed want it to be longer, you could simply add in some things and give it your own flair(: good luck!

I really like this monologue, so can I use it please? Thank you very much!

Anonymous (not verified)
JXLarry of course you can(:

Dolores Derksen (not verified)
Could I please use this monologue for an audition?

Anonymous (not verified)
Dear Dolores, Go right ahead(: Be sure to site your source

Anthony p (not verified)
I loved it and i hope it looks great in front of my fellow actors.

Court (not verified)
I love this monolouge and want to use it for an audition, is that alright? Also what is your real name (first and last) so I can give you credit?

Hey is it ok if i use this for an audition? Pretty please lol :)

De cweepy stwak... (not verified)
Hey could I use this for this talent show im doing? p.s Luv it!

Kim Angel (not verified)
2 thumbs up!!!!! love this monologue so much...can wait to use it for my acting class......can I use it pretty plsssssss!

Savannah Bishop (not verified)
The "I wasnt gonna write about a rock- just kidding i thought about it just kidding just kidding just kidding" part reminded me of the Judy Grimes character on Saturday Night Lives' Weekend update....

Anonymous (not verified)
everyone can go ahead and use it, hahah, and Savannah the just kidding part was a play off of JUdy Grimes ;D

Madeline Duff (not verified)
Hi pRincess_piNk ;) May I please use this monologue for an audition??? Please respond soon, the audition is tomorrow! Thanks!

Alexandra Mauney (not verified)
You are very very gifted!!

CameronMae (not verified)
I would like to use this and have to give an author, so who should I say wrote this? Just give me a nickname or something.

sarahreb2001 (not verified)
This monologue is amazing! I really liked it. I just wanted to ask you if I could borrow it for my drama class. Thank you for putting this up here. :)

Cierra (not verified)
Hey this is a very great monologue! May I use it? Can you please tell me who I can give credit to. Firs name and last?

Lynsay (not verified)
I really like this monologue!! I was wondering if I could use it for a school play coming up?

Lynsay (not verified)
I really like this monologue!! I was wondering if I could use it for a school play coming up?

Anonymous (not verified)
everyone like i said is welcome to use it [: enjoy. oh and thank you very much alexandra {:

Jordan (not verified)
Can I use this for my speech tournament need a monologue by 2morrow!!!

Andrew (not verified)
Hi i love you piece can i perform it as my drama final?

Hi! I love this monologue! It's actually really scary how much this relates to my drama class. Would you mind if I use this in my audition? Thanks so much!

Anonymous (not verified)
everyone is more than welcome to use this [: no need to ask! [:

M Johnes (not verified)
Hey , pRincess_piNk ;) , I love this monologue and would like to modify it a bit and use it in school.Do you mind?

Tonio Sefton (not verified)
is this monologue from a published play. It's a great monologue and I'd love to use it so thank you. but is it part of a published play and if so which one please?

Mallory-Grace (not verified)
Hey Wednesday is a drama club meet and I need a monologue to preform with. The site said that I should get permission from u before I use it? So could I use it? Thx MG

jennifer (not verified)
Really funny, your Barbie one is too. Both my son and daughter are using both monologues for their forensic competition. He using this one, my daughter the Barbie one. We had to add a few words to make sure they were three minutes long. Hope that is ok. Thank you, of all that we looked at these were by far the funniest.

Caroline (not verified)
THIS IS AMAZING May I use this for arts week performance in my school?

Christine (not verified)
I love this may I use it for my talent at a pageant next week?

Christine (not verified)
I love this may I use it for my talent at a pageant next week?

William (not verified)
I love it can I use this please at drama class

William (not verified)
I love it can I use this please at drama class

Anonymous (not verified)
hello I was just gonna say I love this mono. and was wondering if I could use it? thanks :D

Antony (not verified)

hello i was wondering if i could use this monologue for a speech festival for my school? it is amazing

maria (not verified)
hey is it okay if i use this monologue for my school its really cool and funny

TheCyborgToaster (not verified)
Hi, do you mind if I mess around with this and use it in my English class?

selina (not verified)
Hey! i would really like to use this in my class. i would really appreciate a reply. :) reply at: thanks :)

Mia (not verified)
Hi I really like this monologue can I use it for an audition then hopefully districts????

This was so cute! May I use this for my audition for my drama group?

Anna (not verified)
Hey I was wondering could I please use this for my drama class? This would be perfect!:)

I just love your monologues! I suck at writing these:(

Hey pRincess_pINK I'm doing a monologue for a talent show and LOVE this one! Was wondering if I could use it so I don't have to use the one I wrote. I related to this on a spiritual level because it's this or a very personal one. Thank you!

AKid (not verified)
Hey, great monologue but i was wondering if i can ask you a question princess, how would you suggest i act this out should i be mad or what emotion should i show?

OLOLOLO_27 (not verified)
Thank you so much for this amazing monologue, it helped a lot so I could make my own monologue and also it was an amazing inspiration. Your'e an amazing author you have very good expression skills

OLOLOLO_27 (not verified)

El (not verified)
Hey can I use this for a school skit contest?

Abenezer Aregay (not verified)
can i use it

sierra (not verified)
I would like to use this for an audition, but for my slate I need an author's name. Could you please tell me either your name or pen name? Thank you!

Neressa (not verified)
Can I use this ?

hayley holmes (not verified)
hello, i was wondering if i could could use this for my performance in drama class?

3.5m Comedy Monologues - Im Not Going to Write a Monolouge