Understanding the Game of Golf

Understanding the Game of Golf

(3m)   by thomgoddard
 

Comedy Monologues   (21682 Views 52 Comments)

I don?t understand golf.

The entire point of golf is to play as little golf as possible.˜

To make as few shots as possible.˜

The more shots you take, the worse you are.

So the people who play the least golf are the best ones at it.
And the people who play the most golf are the worst ones at it.

Unlike other sports, people get paid millions of dollars for being able to play less golf than other people.˜

In football, basketball or tennis, the best pros are the ones who score the most.

If you want to get paid to play golf you have to be able to score less than other players.
To play less than other players.

As I put my ball on the tee, take a step back and look at the fairway ahead,˜I realise I don?t play enough golf.˜

And here?s the thing, if you don?t play enough golf you will never get better at playing golf.

So by not playing enough golf, you will never be good enough to play as little golf as possible.

After the swing and seeing my ball disappear into the trees again, one thing is clear.

I don?t like golf.

Comedy Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
Public

Author's Message

Please contact me through iComedyTV if you want to use this script. No contact = no permission

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Comments

   

Joe Piqqoloni (not verified)
Can I use your script in a youtube video

thomgoddard
@Joe - no problem but you must put my name in the information under the film. Cheers

Nochainz
can i use your scrip ?

firepower
I my names at the top of the thingy thing but thats not my real name so nvm. I wanted to know if I could use your script for a school drama project thingy thing due for tommorow? (Btw, do you think anyone would ever actually call their child 'firepower'.)

KaelynMH
Hi! May I use your script in a comedy routine for my public speaking class?

Chris (not verified)
Hi Thom, May I use your script for my school talent show? Thank you.

Foofenschcoops (not verified)
This is great

Foofenschcoops (not verified)
May I use this for an audition?

thomgoddard
@Chris - please do use it and I hope you do well.

thomgoddard
@Foofenschcoops - please do and I hope you get the job.

Chris (not verified)
Do you have any skits for Elementary school aged kids with two people acting in it? Thanks

thomgoddard
@Chris - loads in my profile. Most popular for 2 people are: What Watt Where Ware: http://www.icomedytv.com/Comedy-Scripts/Funny/View/Script/409/What-Watt-Where-Ware.aspx Dissecting The Chicken Joke: http://www.icomedytv.com/Comedy-Scripts/Funny/View/S

Michael (not verified)
ld like to know if I could use this monologue ill mention you on my page on instagram

thomgoddard
@Michael - no problem, enjoy!

superduper (not verified)
Hey Thom was just wandering if I could use you script, I'm trying to get into QUT with it

thomgoddard
@superduper - the "uni for the real world"? Nice. Use it and good luck

Cassie (not verified)
May I have permission to use this monologue at a talent showcase?

thomgoddard
@Cassie - please do and shine.

Chris (not verified)
Hi Thom, This is perfect! May I use it for an audition?

thomgoddard
@Chris - please do and I hope you get the job!

Jacob Downey (not verified)
Can I please use this monologue in an audition? Thank you!

peachytiffers
Can I please use this monologue in an audition? Thank you!

camson
Hi Thom, May I use your script for a talent audition? I have searched through many and yours are quite good!

thomgoddard
@Cams - 'quite good'? With flattery like that how can I say "No". Of course you can.

Ashlynn (not verified)
I have a play addition tomorrow and this is perfect may I use it

thomgoddard
@Ashlynn - sure, hope you get the part.

Kevin Sheridan (not verified)
I was wondering if I can use this for a school presentation?

thomgoddard
@Kevin - sure and good luck

Andrew (not verified)
Can I use your script for a school drama project?

savanahh (not verified)
con I use this for my school presentation?

thomgoddard
@Andrew & savanahh - no problem, enjoy!

Trev M (not verified)
Can I please use this monologue for an audition that I have for my High School musical?

thomgoddard
@Trev - do use it and i hope you get the part!

c m allan (not verified)
I have an agent audition end of Jan. Can I use this golf monologue please?

thomgoddard
@C M - sure, good luck!

makayla (not verified)
can i use this for a scholarship audition ??

thomgoddard
@makayla - do use it and I hope it helps you get the scholarship.

Ari (not verified)
Can I use this for my speech class we are giving joke speeches that tell a story

thomgoddard
@Ari - of course, I hope everyone enjoys it.

thomgoddard
@Jennie - that is fine and I hope they do well.

jaimiles
Loved the piece - can I use it as an example in an undergraduate research study on humor?

thomgoddard
@jaimiles - sure, let me know the conclusions (only if they're good... ; )

flatlands
Would it be possible to use this piece for an outdoor radio drama style comedy night? It will be free for the community audience. We will be thanking the authors through our MC at the beginning of the evening. Thank you for considering our request. flatlands theatre company

thomgoddard
@flatlands - that's great, enjoy!

ILaffwithU
I would like to use this for my speech class this whole year. May I have your permission?

thomgoddard
@ILaffwithU - you want to use this throughout the whole year? I'm not sure about that but please use it in your speech class and give credit if needed.

ILaffwithU
Do you allow us to use your monologues in speech competition at local and national levels if the person gives your credit?

thomgoddard
@ILaffwithU - yeah, sure you have permission to use this in a "local and national levels" competition and I can't wait to see my credit @TheThomGoddard on Facebook or @ThomGodd on Twitter. God bless!

audreypop_9648
Can I please use your script for a school project please I just broke my arm and missed when he gave us the assignment so this is the go to script that I found and I love it. Thanks for your time!

Melanie Deprest
Hello! This monologue fits my personality very well. May I use it to audition with? Thank you!

thomgoddard
@audreypop - nothing like being the "go to script"! Of course you can, enjoy!

thomgoddard
@Melanie - please do. If any of the auditions find themselves online please send me a link as I love to see this performed brilliantly.

3m Comedy Monologues - Understanding the Game of Golf