Understanding the Game of Golf

Understanding the Game of Golf

(3m)   by thomgoddard
 

Comedy Monologues   (26057 Views 54 Comments)

I don?t understand golf.

The entire point of golf is to play as little golf as possible.˜

To make as few shots as possible.˜

The more shots you take, the worse you are.

So the people who play the least golf are the best ones at it.
And the people who play the most golf are the worst ones at it.

Unlike other sports, people get paid millions of dollars for being able to play less golf than other people.˜

In football, basketball or tennis, the best pros are the ones who score the most.

If you want to get paid to play golf you have to be able to score less than other players.
To play less than other players.

As I put my ball on the tee, take a step back and look at the fairway ahead,˜I realise I don?t play enough golf.˜

And here?s the thing, if you don?t play enough golf you will never get better at playing golf.

So by not playing enough golf, you will never be good enough to play as little golf as possible.

After the swing and seeing my ball disappear into the trees again, one thing is clear.

I don?t like golf.

Comedy Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
Public

Author's Message

Please contact me through iComedyTV if you want to use this script. No contact = no permission

Copyright Statement



Comments

   

Submitted by Joe Piqqoloni (not verified) on Fri, 04/22/2016 - 23:07
Can I use your script in a youtube video
Submitted by thomgoddard on Sat, 04/23/2016 - 03:35
@Joe - no problem but you must put my name in the information under the film. Cheers
Submitted by Nochainz on Sun, 04/24/2016 - 23:27
can i use your scrip ?
Submitted by firepower on Sun, 05/08/2016 - 00:25
I my names at the top of the thingy thing but thats not my real name so nvm. I wanted to know if I could use your script for a school drama project thingy thing due for tommorow? (Btw, do you think anyone would ever actually call their child 'firepower'.)
Submitted by KaelynMH on Sun, 05/08/2016 - 12:42
Hi! May I use your script in a comedy routine for my public speaking class?
Submitted by Chris (not verified) on Mon, 05/23/2016 - 08:33
Hi Thom, May I use your script for my school talent show? Thank you.
Submitted by Foofenschcoops (not verified) on Mon, 05/23/2016 - 13:39
This is great
Submitted by Foofenschcoops (not verified) on Mon, 05/23/2016 - 14:02
May I use this for an audition?
Submitted by thomgoddard on Mon, 05/23/2016 - 20:53
@Chris - please do use it and I hope you do well.
Submitted by thomgoddard on Mon, 05/23/2016 - 20:57
@Foofenschcoops - please do and I hope you get the job.
Submitted by Chris (not verified) on Tue, 05/24/2016 - 09:52
Do you have any skits for Elementary school aged kids with two people acting in it? Thanks
Submitted by thomgoddard on Tue, 05/24/2016 - 18:48
@Chris - loads in my profile. Most popular for 2 people are: What Watt Where Ware: http://www.icomedytv.com/Comedy-Scripts/Funny/View/Script/409/What-Watt-Where-Ware.aspx Dissecting The Chicken Joke: http://www.icomedytv.com/Comedy-Scripts/Funny/View/S
Submitted by Michael (not verified) on Sat, 05/28/2016 - 06:07
ld like to know if I could use this monologue ill mention you on my page on instagram
Submitted by thomgoddard on Mon, 05/30/2016 - 20:03
@Michael - no problem, enjoy!
Submitted by superduper (not verified) on Wed, 06/08/2016 - 23:26
Hey Thom was just wandering if I could use you script, I'm trying to get into QUT with it
Submitted by thomgoddard on Thu, 06/09/2016 - 04:52
@superduper - the "uni for the real world"? Nice. Use it and good luck
Submitted by Cassie (not verified) on Sun, 06/19/2016 - 03:52
May I have permission to use this monologue at a talent showcase?
Submitted by thomgoddard on Sun, 06/19/2016 - 19:05
@Cassie - please do and shine.
Submitted by Chris (not verified) on Tue, 07/19/2016 - 16:01
Hi Thom, This is perfect! May I use it for an audition?
Submitted by thomgoddard on Tue, 07/19/2016 - 22:40
@Chris - please do and I hope you get the job!
Submitted by Jacob Downey (not verified) on Wed, 08/03/2016 - 03:43
Can I please use this monologue in an audition? Thank you!
Submitted by peachytiffers on Wed, 08/03/2016 - 03:49
Can I please use this monologue in an audition? Thank you!
Submitted by camson on Tue, 08/23/2016 - 12:55
Hi Thom, May I use your script for a talent audition? I have searched through many and yours are quite good!
Submitted by thomgoddard on Tue, 08/23/2016 - 20:30
@Cams - 'quite good'? With flattery like that how can I say "No". Of course you can.
Submitted by Ashlynn (not verified) on Wed, 09/07/2016 - 15:00
I have a play addition tomorrow and this is perfect may I use it
Submitted by thomgoddard on Wed, 09/07/2016 - 20:33
@Ashlynn - sure, hope you get the part.
Submitted by Kevin Sheridan (not verified) on Tue, 11/01/2016 - 12:13
I was wondering if I can use this for a school presentation?
Submitted by thomgoddard on Tue, 11/01/2016 - 19:16
@Kevin - sure and good luck
Submitted by Andrew (not verified) on Mon, 11/28/2016 - 10:33
Can I use your script for a school drama project?
Submitted by savanahh (not verified) on Mon, 11/28/2016 - 16:34
con I use this for my school presentation?
Submitted by thomgoddard on Mon, 11/28/2016 - 18:01
@Andrew & savanahh - no problem, enjoy!
Submitted by Trev M (not verified) on Wed, 12/28/2016 - 11:31
Can I please use this monologue for an audition that I have for my High School musical?
Submitted by thomgoddard on Wed, 12/28/2016 - 18:50
@Trev - do use it and i hope you get the part!
Submitted by c m allan (not verified) on Sun, 01/01/2017 - 07:25
I have an agent audition end of Jan. Can I use this golf monologue please?
Submitted by thomgoddard on Mon, 01/02/2017 - 18:00
@C M - sure, good luck!
Submitted by makayla (not verified) on Tue, 01/10/2017 - 14:30
can i use this for a scholarship audition ??
Submitted by thomgoddard on Tue, 01/10/2017 - 17:49
@makayla - do use it and I hope it helps you get the scholarship.
Submitted by Ari (not verified) on Wed, 01/18/2017 - 10:25
Can I use this for my speech class we are giving joke speeches that tell a story
Submitted by thomgoddard on Wed, 01/18/2017 - 18:14
@Ari - of course, I hope everyone enjoys it.
Submitted by thomgoddard on Wed, 01/25/2017 - 21:54
@Jennie - that is fine and I hope they do well.
Submitted by jaimiles on Wed, 05/17/2017 - 18:09
Loved the piece - can I use it as an example in an undergraduate research study on humor?
Submitted by thomgoddard on Thu, 05/18/2017 - 09:26
@jaimiles - sure, let me know the conclusions (only if they're good... ; )
Submitted by flatlands on Sun, 06/04/2017 - 00:56
Would it be possible to use this piece for an outdoor radio drama style comedy night? It will be free for the community audience. We will be thanking the authors through our MC at the beginning of the evening. Thank you for considering our request. flatlands theatre company
Submitted by thomgoddard on Wed, 06/07/2017 - 01:36
@flatlands - that's great, enjoy!
Submitted by ILaffwithU on Fri, 08/18/2017 - 10:24
I would like to use this for my speech class this whole year. May I have your permission?
Submitted by thomgoddard on Fri, 08/18/2017 - 13:28
@ILaffwithU - you want to use this throughout the whole year? I'm not sure about that but please use it in your speech class and give credit if needed.
Submitted by ILaffwithU on Sun, 08/20/2017 - 10:15
Do you allow us to use your monologues in speech competition at local and national levels if the person gives your credit?
Submitted by thomgoddard on Sun, 08/20/2017 - 12:47
@ILaffwithU - yeah, sure you have permission to use this in a "local and national levels" competition and I can't wait to see my credit @TheThomGoddard on Facebook or @ThomGodd on Twitter. God bless!
Submitted by audreypop_9648 on Wed, 09/13/2017 - 10:27
Can I please use your script for a school project please I just broke my arm and missed when he gave us the assignment so this is the go to script that I found and I love it. Thanks for your time!
Submitted by Melanie Deprest on Wed, 09/13/2017 - 19:36
Hello! This monologue fits my personality very well. May I use it to audition with? Thank you!
Submitted by thomgoddard on Wed, 09/13/2017 - 23:32
@audreypop - nothing like being the "go to script"! Of course you can, enjoy!
Submitted by thomgoddard on Wed, 09/13/2017 - 23:33
@Melanie - please do. If any of the auditions find themselves online please send me a link as I love to see this performed brilliantly.
Submitted by Imtryinggg on Fri, 01/12/2018 - 19:41
Can I use this in an audition possibly?
Submitted by thomgoddard on Tue, 02/27/2018 - 13:10
@Imtryinggg - of course, I hope you get the part. Good luck!

3m Comedy Monologues - Understanding the Game of Golf