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Dissecting The Chicken Joke

Dissecting The Chicken Joke

(5m)   by thomgoddard

Comedy Skits   (140006 Views 87 Comments)

Two people stand in a hallway.
One turns to the other: 1. I've got a joke for you.

2. Oh yeah?

1. Why did the chicken cross the road?

2. Do you mean "For what purpose" did the chicken cross the road?

1. Yes.

2. Oh ok.

1. So "For what purpose" did the chicken cross the road?

2. Are we talking about one of us who's afraid of a bully or an actual chicken?

1. An actual bird brain.

2. So you.

1. Ha ha. No, a feathered, two-legged, egg-creating, winged creature.

2. Oh, a gallus gallus domesticus

1. A what?

2. The scientific name for chicken.

1. Oh... then yes. A gall... gall... domestic-thing.

2. Gallus Gallus Domesticus.

1. Gallus Gallus Domesticus.

2. Perfect.

1. Ok then.

2. What?

1. So... "For what purpose" did the "Gallus Gallus Domesticus" cross the road?

2. Oh right. In what sense "cross"?

1. Eh?

2. Well did they upset it, step on its toe or steal some money?

1. What are you talking about?

2. In what way did they make the road cross?

1. No, no, no. Went across. From one side to the other.

2. Oh... Peregrinate.

1. What?

2. Decussate.

1. Are you speaking English?

2. Yes, of course. How about "Traverse"

1. Yes, that's it. "Traverse from one side to the other"

2. Ah, now I get it.

1. So?

2. So?

1. Don't make me say it again.

2. Oh... "For what purpose" did the "Gallus Gallus Domesticus" "Traverse" the road?

1. Yes. That's it!

2. Ah... but.

1. No "buts".

2. What do you mean "road"?

1. Everyone knows roads. The things people drive on. With cars. Or lorries. Or buses. Or... wait, you've got me doing it now.

2. Doing "it" what?

1. It doesn't matter. Back to "Road". What don't you understand about "Road"?

2. Well, I can assume you mean asphalt highway.

1. Yes...

2. But...

1. I said no "buts"

2. What if its aspirational. Like dreams or desires?

1. I don't know what you're talking about.

2. You know. "The road to El Dorado".˜

1. Where?

2. El Dorado. The city of gold.

1. Oh. But what's that got to do with...

2. There is no actual city. "The Road to El Dorado" is a metaphor for our path through life to achieve enlightenment.

1. Ok. In fact, I can't say anything because I don't even know where we are.

2. The road. An asphalt highway or a higher extension...

1. Don't finish that sentence! An asphalt highway.

2. Thank you for clearing that up.

1. No problem. So?

2. So... what?

1. So... "For what purpose" did the "Gallus Gallus Domesticus" "Traverse" the "Asphalt Highway"?

2. Hmmm... I do not know.

1. To get to the other side!!!

2. The other side?

1. Yes!

2. The etherial plain or the juxtapose of where they set forth?

1. What? Oh... what now?

2. Well, are they looking to move on to a life beyond our mortal existence?

1. WHAT?

2. Are they looking to end their life? Die. And then move on to the etherial plain. Or Heaven. You know get to "The Other Side".

1. Erm... I don't know.

2. Or the exact opposite of where their journey began from one edge of the asphalt highway to the other edge?

1. Erm... I think the second one. But now I don't know.˜

2. Well, I think you should find out before you starting asking me questions.

1. I wasn't asking you a question! Look it's a classic joke - "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

2. You mean: For what purpose did the Gallus Gallus Domesticus traverse the asphalt highway?

1. Exactly!

2. Why?

1. "To get to the other side!"

2. You mean: To reach the etherial plain.

1. No.

2. Or: To reach the juxtapose position from which they began.

1. NO! NO! NO!

2. Well... if you're going to tell a joke at least tell it properly.

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Please contact me through iComedyTV if you want to use this script. No contact = no permission


Julianna C. (not verified)
I LOVE IT! Hilarious.

Hey Thom! I was wondering if i could use this for a project in my school! Thanks, Jenna Miller

Jacob Davies (not verified)
Hey Thom can I use the script for a school project.

Az (not verified)
Hey, i want to use it for my school project can u please send the full copy of this script to my email? thanks, i'll appreciate if u can send it to me tomorrow or as soon as a possible.

lily (not verified)
can i plz use it for my primary school project?

michelle (not verified)
Hi,this is fab!! Could I propose this script in a show I'm producing? It's not set in stone yet but I'm part of an amateur group who perform three times a year to our local area -thank you

Dave (not verified)
Hi Thom, Can we use this for a school project? I love this script, please respond.

Isaac (not verified)
can I use this at my school? Sorry but I don't know how to contact you other than through the comments

Awesome Peoples (not verified)
Hey, I was wondering if me and my friend could use this as a dialogue for our drama class project? Thanks! PS It was really funny!!

marie (not verified)
tom could we please use it for abowls club get to gether regards marie

ben riddler (not verified)
can i use this funny script for a school project

Kelly (not verified)
This is hilarious! May I please use it for this skit I'm doing? Thank you! I love it!

Shelley (not verified)
love this skit! i help plan a theatre workshop at a summer camp and i think the kids would really enjoy this skit. i would appreciate if i could use it. Thank you very much!

J Fill (not verified)
thats really funny never thoght of that joke like that before

Paddy (not verified)
PLEASE, may i use this for a YouTube vid, it would be epic.

of course

Hello thom, i love this script, may i use this for my drama class, Please and thank you. :)

Monica (not verified)
Hey Thom! Loved this skit. My friend and I are wondering if we could use this for as a class project. It would be much appreciated, thanks!

donald kenya (not verified)
hey,am doing animations and i would love 2 try this one out.dyu have more funny scripts ?i can get some voice over and animate them

Brock (not verified)
Hey Thom I was wondering if I could use your full play for a school project if you don't mind emailing it thanks.

Savannah (not verified)
Hey, how do I get the full script? I need this for a school project if its okay with you.

Sheila Clark (not verified)
Wonderful, even in its incomplete form! Please may we use it at our Harvest Supper?

ACH (not verified)
My friend and I would like to try and use this for a Forensics skit this year, is that ok?

annieeee (not verified)
Can I use this for a forensics competition? Thanks for the great script by the way

Misty Hall (not verified)
Can my daughter please use your script the dissecting chicken joke for her middle school's speech contest? Thank You!

Genius Thom!! Love your humour. Pretty please could we use this for a comedy skit we are trying to put together for a community project.

Taylor Midkiff (not verified)
May I use this AMAZING script for my forensics competion!

Taylor Midkiff (not verified)
Thank you!

Bethany (not verified)
Hey! I'm doing a comedy senior showcase for school and was wondering if I could possibly use this wonderful script of yours.

Jennifer (not verified)
Can i please use this script for a competition at school- speech comp. thank you! funny script by the way!

J.C (not verified)
soooooo funny!!!!!!!! can i use this? for a project

Ian Mejia (not verified)
Hey! Nice script! Can I use this for my forensics competition? Thanks!

Anonymous (not verified)
Hi thom, was wondering if i could use this script for a music project. thanks!

Hi Thom, My daughter would like to use this script for school. Can she use this script? It's hilarious. Thank you!

Hi thom, Can my friend and I please use this script fior a forensics completion? Love the script! Write back soon!

Hey thom is this the full length script?

love master (not verified)
love it it so funny milk came out my nose

Capri (not verified)
Me and my friend love this skit, but we can't pronounce half of the words in it. XD

Andrea (not verified)
I am a high school speech and drama coach. Could we please use this in an upcoming talent competition?

beth (not verified)
hi my daughter and her friend would like to use this script for a school project. Do they have your permission?

Andrew Messerly (not verified)
Hi there Thom, I am in a production here in Iowa called Friday Night Live which is a collection of short plays, student run and directed, here at my High School in Waukee. I was wondering if I could use this script in the production, while you of course shall get full credit in the program. Please let me know as soon as you get this! Thanks!

Emilia Coto (not verified)
Hi Thom. I was wondering if I could use this for a presentation/competition? Thanks!

Walt (not verified)
Hi thom can I please use this script for my humorous tournament this is awesome!!!

Josh murley (not verified)
Hi Thom, can i use this for a speech project

greg (not verified)
can i use it for a assignment?

Felicia (not verified)
Not sure if you got the message on the friend request but could I possible use this skit or your Watt and Ware one for Drama night at my school?

Felicia (not verified)
I'll definitely record it for you

chris H. (not verified)
Hey Thom I'm going to the state thespian festival in January; may I use your skit for my entry

Andrea (not verified)
This is hilarious. I am a high school speech and drama coach. Please may I use it in a school competition.

FrUk (not verified)
We (my friend and I) were wondering if we could use this script for a duo performance in a time around March 2015. We enjoy the skit very much, and we were wondering if we could use this as our duo. -Jose

Parker J (not verified)
Thom, can I please use this script for my speech team at school? It is very funny, and I think my speech partner would love it.

Mani (not verified)
Hi Thom, may I please use this script for my Speech and Debate audition? My partner and I found it and loved it, we were wondering if we could use it. Please reply, thanks in advance!

Hey Thom, I was hoping I could use this for my school's public speaking competition. Is that cool with u?

awesomefish30 (not verified)
Thanks Thom!

Hannah (not verified)
Hi Thom, I was wondering if I could use this for a creative skit assignment at school? Please respond ASAP with an answer. Thank you very much! Hannah (BTW great script!)

William and Carlo (not verified)
Hi Mr. Thom can we use this this speech for me and my friends speech tounament Speech, we both really like it.

William and Carlo (not verified)
It's a school speech tournament :p

Hannah (not verified)
Hi Thom, I have to do a reflection on this piece that I am presenting and need to include author details. I was just wondering if there was any specific inspiration for this skit, as well of any general biography type stuff. I completely understand if you are not willing to share any of this information over the internet. Any thing is appreciated! Thank you.

Diana (not verified)
A friend is having a talent evening and I'd love to use this with my husband. Is that okay?

mykayla arnold (not verified)
may I please use this for a talent show at my besties place I am goi9ng to do it with my sister thanks if I do get to use it

lol! Thanks! this is very interesting!

Troy Bisso
Hey, can me and a friend use your script for High School speech/forensics competition? Great piece for duo! :)

Bubba (not verified)
Hi Thom! Me and my friend are practicing and we are the underdogs in the competition, mind if we use the piece to try to win?

Diana (not verified)
Hey Thom, I hope the link works. Thank you again for the script, and I hope we did the credits right (please say if we need to add something). The skit was a hit! Cheers, Diana

Diana (not verified)
Uh-oh, I don't see my link in the previous post. Please let me know if you want me to do something differently.

FilmkoFilms (not verified)
Hi there, we were wondering if we could use this script for one of our youtube skits.

FilmkoFilms (not verified)
Hi there, we were wondering if we could use this script for one of our youtube skits.

Dan Siebert (not verified)
Could I use this script for a 50th anniversary celebration of my brother & sister in law? It would depict a conversation between the two. Thank-you for considering.

Amy l (not verified)
We would like to do this skit for the residents at our assisted living facility. Do you mind?

Daniel Poedure (not verified)
May I please use this script for my middle school duet acting competition? Thanks! Daniel Poedure

Judd Nelson (not verified)
Hey Thom, could I use the script for a middle school talent show? I thought this was really funny. The talent show isn't till the end of the school year so you have some time to answer. Thanks!

Hi Thom, I would love to use this for a literature class focusing on the nature of language and also for my drama class. I think students will love it! Thank you.

Hey, I was wondering if me and my friend could use this to preform at a theater festival at our school.

Salzige Kartoffel (not verified)
May I use this for a talent show at my school?

Salzige Kartoffel (not verified)
Thank you so much!

Hey Thom I would like to use your script in a competition at my school, I have copied it into microsoft word and written the parts with our names, but I wanted to ask if all of this is okay, thank you

Abenezer Aregay (not verified)
Can i use this please it so funny

Hi Thom, may I please use this for a coffee house performance? Thank you, Dwayne

RosyB (not verified)
Hi Thom, May I use this script, as well as "What? Watt? Where? Ware?" for my advanced English class? The play on words would be fun to analyse in class! I would give you credit, of course. -Rosy

Bean (not verified)
Hey, I was wondering can me and my best friend use this skit for a "speech meet" competition at our school?? We both read it and thought it was super funny, this is so my friend and I on a daily basis!!!! Thanks

@Bean - use it and I hope you and your best friend make people laugh.

Hi Thom, Love the script! Hilarious stuff! May I use it for a short skit I'll be shooting? It would really help shine some light on my reelz project Thank you

I would like to use this in a video I am working on.

@sarge134 - sweet, send me a link when it's done. And remember to give credit. Cheers

Laura (not verified)
My daughter and her friend would like to use this for an elementary school talent for their comedy act. please.

@Laura - of course, I hope they leave them laughing.

Hello, may my daughters use this for a 4-H production? We would give you full credit. Thanks.

Funny, Humorous, 5m Minute Comedy Skits, , Dissecting The Chicken Joke