Dissecting The Chicken Joke

Dissecting The Chicken Joke

(5m)   by thomgoddard
 

Comedy Skits   (151829 Views 104 Comments)

Two people stand in a hallway.
One turns to the other: 1. I've got a joke for you.

2. Oh yeah?

1. Why did the chicken cross the road?

2. Do you mean "For what purpose" did the chicken cross the road?

1. Yes.

2. Oh ok.

1. So "For what purpose" did the chicken cross the road?

2. Are we talking about one of us who's afraid of a bully or an actual chicken?

1. An actual bird brain.

2. So you.

1. Ha ha. No, a feathered, two-legged, egg-creating, winged creature.

2. Oh, a gallus gallus domesticus

1. A what?

2. The scientific name for chicken.

1. Oh... then yes. A gall... gall... domestic-thing.

2. Gallus Gallus Domesticus.

1. Gallus Gallus Domesticus.

2. Perfect.

1. Ok then.

2. What?

1. So... "For what purpose" did the "Gallus Gallus Domesticus" cross the road?

2. Oh right. In what sense "cross"?

1. Eh?

2. Well did they upset it, step on its toe or steal some money?

1. What are you talking about?

2. In what way did they make the road cross?

1. No, no, no. Went across. From one side to the other.

2. Oh... Peregrinate.

1. What?

2. Decussate.

1. Are you speaking English?

2. Yes, of course. How about "Traverse"

1. Yes, that's it. "Traverse from one side to the other"

2. Ah, now I get it.

1. So?

2. So?

1. Don't make me say it again.

2. Oh... "For what purpose" did the "Gallus Gallus Domesticus" "Traverse" the road?

1. Yes. That's it!

2. Ah... but.

1. No "buts".

2. What do you mean "road"?

1. Everyone knows roads. The things people drive on. With cars. Or lorries. Or buses. Or... wait, you've got me doing it now.

2. Doing "it" what?

1. It doesn't matter. Back to "Road". What don't you understand about "Road"?

2. Well, I can assume you mean asphalt highway.

1. Yes...

2. But...

1. I said no "buts"

2. What if its aspirational. Like dreams or desires?

1. I don't know what you're talking about.

2. You know. "The road to El Dorado".˜

1. Where?

2. El Dorado. The city of gold.

1. Oh. But what's that got to do with...

2. There is no actual city. "The Road to El Dorado" is a metaphor for our path through life to achieve enlightenment.

1. Ok. In fact, I can't say anything because I don't even know where we are.

2. The road. An asphalt highway or a higher extension...

1. Don't finish that sentence! An asphalt highway.

2. Thank you for clearing that up.

1. No problem. So?

2. So... what?

1. So... "For what purpose" did the "Gallus Gallus Domesticus" "Traverse" the "Asphalt Highway"?

2. Hmmm... I do not know.

1. To get to the other side!!!

2. The other side?

1. Yes!

2. The etherial plain or the juxtapose of where they set forth?

1. What? Oh... what now?

2. Well, are they looking to move on to a life beyond our mortal existence?

1. WHAT?

2. Are they looking to end their life? Die. And then move on to the etherial plain. Or Heaven. You know get to "The Other Side".

1. Erm... I don't know.

2. Or the exact opposite of where their journey began from one edge of the asphalt highway to the other edge?

1. Erm... I think the second one. But now I don't know.˜

2. Well, I think you should find out before you starting asking me questions.

1. I wasn't asking you a question! Look it's a classic joke - "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

2. You mean: For what purpose did the Gallus Gallus Domesticus traverse the asphalt highway?

1. Exactly!

2. Why?

1. "To get to the other side!"

2. You mean: To reach the etherial plain.

1. No.

2. Or: To reach the juxtapose position from which they began.

1. NO! NO! NO!

2. Well... if you're going to tell a joke at least tell it properly.

Comedy Type: Humor Type: Comedy Scene:
2 Person
Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
Public

Author's Message

Please contact me through iComedyTV if you want to use this script. No contact = no permission

Copyright Statement



Comments

   

Submitted by Julianna C. (not verified) on Wed, 03/27/2013 - 11:34
I LOVE IT! Hilarious.
Submitted by JennaMiller98 on Fri, 04/12/2013 - 13:55
Hey Thom! I was wondering if i could use this for a project in my school! Thanks, Jenna Miller
Submitted by Jacob Davies (not verified) on Sat, 04/13/2013 - 22:00
Hey Thom can I use the script for a school project.
Submitted by Az (not verified) on Sat, 04/20/2013 - 04:51
Hey, i want to use it for my school project can u please send the full copy of this script to my email? thanks, i'll appreciate if u can send it to me tomorrow or as soon as a possible.
Submitted by lily (not verified) on Thu, 04/25/2013 - 20:48
can i plz use it for my primary school project?
Submitted by michelle (not verified) on Tue, 05/14/2013 - 01:36
Hi,this is fab!! Could I propose this script in a show I'm producing? It's not set in stone yet but I'm part of an amateur group who perform three times a year to our local area -thank you
Submitted by Dave (not verified) on Wed, 05/22/2013 - 05:35
Hi Thom, Can we use this for a school project? I love this script, please respond.
Submitted by Isaac (not verified) on Tue, 05/28/2013 - 09:46
can I use this at my school? Sorry but I don't know how to contact you other than through the comments
Submitted by Awesome Peoples (not verified) on Sun, 06/02/2013 - 12:22
Hey, I was wondering if me and my friend could use this as a dialogue for our drama class project? Thanks! PS It was really funny!!
Submitted by marie (not verified) on Mon, 06/03/2013 - 17:05
tom could we please use it for abowls club get to gether regards marie
Submitted by ben riddler (not verified) on Mon, 06/10/2013 - 13:50
can i use this funny script for a school project
Submitted by Kelly (not verified) on Wed, 06/12/2013 - 06:49
This is hilarious! May I please use it for this skit I'm doing? Thank you! I love it!
Submitted by Shelley (not verified) on Fri, 06/14/2013 - 05:25
love this skit! i help plan a theatre workshop at a summer camp and i think the kids would really enjoy this skit. i would appreciate if i could use it. Thank you very much!
Submitted by J Fill (not verified) on Tue, 06/18/2013 - 08:46
thats really funny never thoght of that joke like that before
Submitted by Paddy (not verified) on Fri, 07/19/2013 - 07:11
PLEASE, may i use this for a YouTube vid, it would be epic.
Submitted by beanyfootymad on Mon, 07/22/2013 - 20:40
of course
Submitted by SimriJ on Sun, 07/28/2013 - 15:11
Hello thom, i love this script, may i use this for my drama class, Please and thank you. :)
Submitted by Monica (not verified) on Thu, 08/01/2013 - 02:26
Hey Thom! Loved this skit. My friend and I are wondering if we could use this for as a class project. It would be much appreciated, thanks!
Submitted by donald kenya (not verified) on Wed, 08/14/2013 - 09:19
hey,am doing animations and i would love 2 try this one out.dyu have more funny scripts ?i can get some voice over and animate them
Submitted by Brock (not verified) on Sun, 09/01/2013 - 02:01
Hey Thom I was wondering if I could use your full play for a school project if you don't mind emailing it thanks.
Submitted by Savannah (not verified) on Sat, 10/05/2013 - 06:10
Hey, how do I get the full script? I need this for a school project if its okay with you.
Submitted by Sheila Clark (not verified) on Sat, 10/05/2013 - 21:07
Wonderful, even in its incomplete form! Please may we use it at our Harvest Supper?
Submitted by ACH (not verified) on Tue, 10/08/2013 - 03:10
My friend and I would like to try and use this for a Forensics skit this year, is that ok?
Submitted by annieeee (not verified) on Tue, 10/29/2013 - 14:20
Can I use this for a forensics competition? Thanks for the great script by the way
Submitted by Misty Hall (not verified) on Mon, 11/04/2013 - 06:58
Can my daughter please use your script the dissecting chicken joke for her middle school's speech contest? Thank You!
Submitted by frinytoo on Sat, 11/09/2013 - 11:05
Genius Thom!! Love your humour. Pretty please could we use this for a comedy skit we are trying to put together for a community project.
Submitted by Taylor Midkiff (not verified) on Wed, 11/13/2013 - 09:57
May I use this AMAZING script for my forensics competion!
Submitted by Taylor Midkiff (not verified) on Thu, 11/14/2013 - 12:57
Thank you!
Submitted by Bethany (not verified) on Sat, 11/16/2013 - 09:54
Hey! I'm doing a comedy senior showcase for school and was wondering if I could possibly use this wonderful script of yours.
Submitted by Jennifer (not verified) on Fri, 11/22/2013 - 06:08
Can i please use this script for a competition at school- speech comp. thank you! funny script by the way!
Submitted by J.C (not verified) on Mon, 11/25/2013 - 22:28
soooooo funny!!!!!!!! can i use this? for a project
Submitted by Ian Mejia (not verified) on Tue, 01/07/2014 - 09:25
Hey! Nice script! Can I use this for my forensics competition? Thanks!
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 01/15/2014 - 11:06
Hi thom, was wondering if i could use this script for a music project. thanks!
Submitted by Kibbles on Sat, 01/25/2014 - 05:07
Hi Thom, My daughter would like to use this script for school. Can she use this script? It's hilarious. Thank you!
Submitted by Gianna4c on Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:12
Hi thom, Can my friend and I please use this script fior a forensics completion? Love the script! Write back soon!
Submitted by Gianna4c on Thu, 01/30/2014 - 13:29
Hey thom is this the full length script?
Submitted by love master (not verified) on Mon, 02/10/2014 - 04:46
love it it so funny milk came out my nose
Submitted by Capri (not verified) on Sun, 02/23/2014 - 06:38
Me and my friend love this skit, but we can't pronounce half of the words in it. XD
Submitted by Andrea (not verified) on Wed, 03/19/2014 - 13:06
I am a high school speech and drama coach. Could we please use this in an upcoming talent competition?
Submitted by beth (not verified) on Mon, 04/14/2014 - 08:48
hi my daughter and her friend would like to use this script for a school project. Do they have your permission?
Submitted by Andrew Messerly (not verified) on Wed, 04/30/2014 - 15:51
Hi there Thom, I am in a production here in Iowa called Friday Night Live which is a collection of short plays, student run and directed, here at my High School in Waukee. I was wondering if I could use this script in the production, while you of course shall get full credit in the program. Please let me know as soon as you get this! Thanks!
Submitted by Emilia Coto (not verified) on Mon, 07/14/2014 - 07:34
Hi Thom. I was wondering if I could use this for a presentation/competition? Thanks!
Submitted by Walt (not verified) on Wed, 07/23/2014 - 06:09
Hi thom can I please use this script for my humorous tournament this is awesome!!!
Submitted by Josh murley (not verified) on Thu, 11/13/2014 - 01:40
Hi Thom, can i use this for a speech project
Submitted by greg (not verified) on Mon, 11/17/2014 - 12:50
can i use it for a assignment?
Submitted by Felicia (not verified) on Tue, 11/18/2014 - 14:09
Not sure if you got the message on the friend request but could I possible use this skit or your Watt and Ware one for Drama night at my school?
Submitted by Felicia (not verified) on Tue, 11/18/2014 - 21:40
I'll definitely record it for you
Submitted by chris H. (not verified) on Mon, 11/24/2014 - 22:46
Hey Thom I'm going to the state thespian festival in January; may I use your skit for my entry
Submitted by Andrea (not verified) on Wed, 12/03/2014 - 00:57
This is hilarious. I am a high school speech and drama coach. Please may I use it in a school competition.
Submitted by FrUk (not verified) on Sat, 12/06/2014 - 16:39
We (my friend and I) were wondering if we could use this script for a duo performance in a time around March 2015. We enjoy the skit very much, and we were wondering if we could use this as our duo. -Jose
Submitted by Parker J (not verified) on Mon, 12/29/2014 - 09:30
Thom, can I please use this script for my speech team at school? It is very funny, and I think my speech partner would love it.
Submitted by Mani (not verified) on Thu, 01/01/2015 - 07:41
Hi Thom, may I please use this script for my Speech and Debate audition? My partner and I found it and loved it, we were wondering if we could use it. Please reply, thanks in advance!
Submitted by awesomefish30 on Sat, 01/03/2015 - 03:31
Hey Thom, I was hoping I could use this for my school's public speaking competition. Is that cool with u?
Submitted by awesomefish30 (not verified) on Mon, 01/05/2015 - 10:17
Thanks Thom!
Submitted by Hannah (not verified) on Wed, 01/07/2015 - 03:26
Hi Thom, I was wondering if I could use this for a creative skit assignment at school? Please respond ASAP with an answer. Thank you very much! Hannah (BTW great script!)
Submitted by William and Carlo (not verified) on Sun, 01/18/2015 - 21:47
Hi Mr. Thom can we use this this speech for me and my friends speech tounament Speech, we both really like it.
Submitted by William and Carlo (not verified) on Sun, 01/18/2015 - 21:49
It's a school speech tournament :p
Submitted by Hannah (not verified) on Wed, 01/28/2015 - 01:13
Hi Thom, I have to do a reflection on this piece that I am presenting and need to include author details. I was just wondering if there was any specific inspiration for this skit, as well of any general biography type stuff. I completely understand if you are not willing to share any of this information over the internet. Any thing is appreciated! Thank you.
Submitted by Diana (not verified) on Thu, 01/29/2015 - 10:28
A friend is having a talent evening and I'd love to use this with my husband. Is that okay?
Submitted by mykayla arnold (not verified) on Sat, 02/07/2015 - 20:22
may I please use this for a talent show at my besties place I am goi9ng to do it with my sister thanks if I do get to use it
Submitted by landonlloyd13 on Tue, 02/10/2015 - 10:11
lol! Thanks! this is very interesting!
Submitted by Troy Bisso on Tue, 02/17/2015 - 12:46
Hey, can me and a friend use your script for High School speech/forensics competition? Great piece for duo! :)
Submitted by Bubba (not verified) on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 05:36
Hi Thom! Me and my friend are practicing and we are the underdogs in the competition, mind if we use the piece to try to win?
Submitted by Diana (not verified) on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 16:50
Hey Thom, I hope the link works. Thank you again for the script, and I hope we did the credits right (please say if we need to add something). The skit was a hit! Cheers, Diana
Submitted by Diana (not verified) on Wed, 03/25/2015 - 05:15
Uh-oh, I don't see my link in the previous post. Please let me know if you want me to do something differently.
Submitted by FilmkoFilms (not verified) on Fri, 04/03/2015 - 12:34
Hi there, we were wondering if we could use this script for one of our youtube skits.
Submitted by FilmkoFilms (not verified) on Fri, 04/03/2015 - 12:35
Hi there, we were wondering if we could use this script for one of our youtube skits.
Submitted by Dan Siebert (not verified) on Thu, 07/30/2015 - 11:02
Could I use this script for a 50th anniversary celebration of my brother & sister in law? It would depict a conversation between the two. Thank-you for considering.
Submitted by Amy l (not verified) on Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:03
We would like to do this skit for the residents at our assisted living facility. Do you mind?
Submitted by Daniel Poedure (not verified) on Sun, 09/20/2015 - 23:25
May I please use this script for my middle school duet acting competition? Thanks! Daniel Poedure
Submitted by Judd Nelson (not verified) on Wed, 10/14/2015 - 16:41
Hey Thom, could I use the script for a middle school talent show? I thought this was really funny. The talent show isn't till the end of the school year so you have some time to answer. Thanks!
Submitted by SOLeary on Tue, 10/27/2015 - 01:40
Hi Thom, I would love to use this for a literature class focusing on the nature of language and also for my drama class. I think students will love it! Thank you.
Submitted by chrisdargent on Tue, 12/01/2015 - 13:34
Hey, I was wondering if me and my friend could use this to preform at a theater festival at our school.
Submitted by Salzige Kartoffel (not verified) on Tue, 12/08/2015 - 12:45
May I use this for a talent show at my school?
Submitted by Salzige Kartoffel (not verified) on Tue, 12/08/2015 - 23:12
Thank you so much!
Submitted by THE_WILLIAM_ACKERSON on Thu, 12/10/2015 - 10:57
Hey Thom I would like to use your script in a competition at my school, I have copied it into microsoft word and written the parts with our names, but I wanted to ask if all of this is okay, thank you
Submitted by Abenezer Aregay (not verified) on Tue, 12/15/2015 - 09:27
Can i use this please it so funny
Submitted by dwayne on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 17:28
Hi Thom, may I please use this for a coffee house performance? Thank you, Dwayne
Submitted by RosyB (not verified) on Sun, 01/24/2016 - 03:33
Hi Thom, May I use this script, as well as "What? Watt? Where? Ware?" for my advanced English class? The play on words would be fun to analyse in class! I would give you credit, of course. -Rosy
Submitted by Bean (not verified) on Sat, 02/06/2016 - 10:28
Hey, I was wondering can me and my best friend use this skit for a "speech meet" competition at our school?? We both read it and thought it was super funny, this is so my friend and I on a daily basis!!!! Thanks
Submitted by thomgoddard on Sun, 02/07/2016 - 19:49
@Bean - use it and I hope you and your best friend make people laugh.
Submitted by edwinlegette on Thu, 02/11/2016 - 20:40
Hi Thom, Love the script! Hilarious stuff! May I use it for a short skit I'll be shooting? It would really help shine some light on my reelz project Thank you
Submitted by sarge134 on Thu, 03/24/2016 - 11:39
I would like to use this in a video I am working on.
Submitted by thomgoddard on Fri, 03/25/2016 - 20:16
@sarge134 - sweet, send me a link when it's done. And remember to give credit. Cheers
Submitted by Laura (not verified) on Fri, 05/06/2016 - 03:58
My daughter and her friend would like to use this for an elementary school talent for their comedy act. please.
Submitted by thomgoddard on Fri, 05/06/2016 - 09:10
@Laura - of course, I hope they leave them laughing.
Submitted by 4Hers on Mon, 03/20/2017 - 09:19
Hello, may my daughters use this for a 4-H production? We would give you full credit. Thanks.
Submitted by thomgoddard on Sat, 03/25/2017 - 01:57
@4Hers - sure, love 4-H, hope it goes brilliantly.
Submitted by Robin on Tue, 03/28/2017 - 15:47
Hey do you Mind If I use This For A YouTube Video. I'll Give You Credit.
Submitted by thomgoddard on Mon, 04/03/2017 - 11:57
@Robin - that's fine. Plse send me a link as I love to see the work. All best,
Submitted by SilDaHarris on Tue, 05/09/2017 - 13:41
@thomgoddard I know it's probably been years since you got a comment on this, but if you're still there, I was wondering if I could use this beautiful piece of work for my Spanish project. I'd give credit, but I would probably need to change up a few things since it'll be spoken all in Spanish. I quick reply would be loved. Thank you. Cheers!
Submitted by SilDaHarris on Tue, 05/09/2017 - 13:42
*Been a while {I just noticed a comment from this year, whoops.}
Submitted by thomgoddard on Wed, 05/10/2017 - 07:07
@SilDaHarris - that is no problem. I hope it goes well.
Submitted by flatlands on Sun, 06/04/2017 - 00:55
Would it be possible to use this piece for an outdoor radio drama style comedy night? It will be free for the community audience. We will be thanking the authors through our MC at the beginning of the evening. Thank you for considering our request. flatlands theatre company
Submitted by Haniyyah Ruzman on Mon, 08/07/2017 - 05:35
hi thom, can i use this for my school project?
Submitted by thomgoddard on Mon, 08/07/2017 - 07:10
@Haniyyah - please do and good luck!!!
Submitted by karthikeyansamy... on Wed, 08/16/2017 - 07:46
Hello, is it possible if my friend and I could use this for a comedy duologue competition? We think this script is extremely suitable.
Submitted by thomgoddard on Fri, 08/18/2017 - 09:26
@karthikeyansamy - "suitable"? Oh, you flatterer! Of course you can. Please give credit when due. All best
Submitted by ILaffwithU on Fri, 08/18/2017 - 10:30
May I use this for my speech class which may include competition in class all the way to Nationals ?
Submitted by thomgoddard on Fri, 08/18/2017 - 13:25
@ILaffwithU - yes indeed, go all the way. And give credit, of course!
Submitted by Holly Piotrowski on Wed, 08/23/2017 - 18:33
We would like to use this in our community theatre for a performance that needs short skits. Please advise how we obtain permission.
Submitted by thomgoddard on Wed, 08/23/2017 - 23:51
@Holly Piotrowski - it's easy, just message me through iComedy.
Submitted by nanna238_9856 on Thu, 11/09/2017 - 16:11
Hello Thom, I was wondering if I could use this peace for highschool forensics this year. I will give you credit each preformance. Just tell as soon as possible please and thank you. It would be sub-districsts to possibly state.
Submitted by thomgoddard on Thu, 11/09/2017 - 23:40
Hi nanna, that all sounds gravy. Have a good one!

2 Person 5m Comedy Skits - Dissecting The Chicken Joke