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Facebook
(2-2.5m)   by  Don McDonald
English    (146822 Views)
Modern Monologues
Random Observations|Relationship


Facebook

Community, getting together , having fun.

We used to have parties, or just hang out lots.

But more and more we're gettin together on our computers
I understand, it's easy,

You don't have to get dressed up, do your hair or take a shower.
You just sit your stinky butt down in front of your computer.
Post that younger looking picture of yourself
And there you are, Networking. Out on the NET
What is Networking anyway?

A few years ago we all faked like we knew what that was.

“Network? Oh ya. Uh, which is your favourite? I kinda like CBS”
But none of us really knew how to do it.
ENTER FACEBOOK.

Facebook came along like 'Networking for Dummies'.

They made it easy. You join up, add some friends

And if you don't really have any, don't worry.

Facebook's got it covered.

I've managed to get a bunch of nice friends

From that helpful little side bar Facebook calls "Suggested friends".

These aren't people you know already.
They're for people like me, who don't have many friends;
The Suggested friends column is like my 'Friend of the week'

How did they get to be friend of the week anyway?
I'll bet they pay!!!!!
I wonder how much I'd have to pay to be friend of the week?
And Now there's Twitter... just as good a name as Facebook.
They're all weird names Linkdin, Facebook, Twitter, Yahooooo!

Facebook makes a bit of sense though, cuz everybody's got a face.
But is everybody a Twit? ...*scan the audience*.... yeah Maybe.
But why make a social network out of Twits?
And is Twitter serving up a "Twit of the week"?

I hope so if they plan to keep up.
Cuz some of my Facebook buddies have like 500 or more friends.
Pages and pages of people they've clicked that "Comfirm as a friend" button to.
Well I'm sorry, but that's too stressful for me

Most Facebook friend requests are a no win situation in my book

Like, a request will come in from someone I don't know all that well

I'm looking at their face wondering… Do I know you?
Then I start thinking... would I want this person thinking we're friends now?
What if they start calling me up to go for coffee?
You see?! Now that would be awkward.
But just as stressful, is clicking the ignore button.
Cuz now you've offended some wacko, who's gonna be calling you up to ask why.
Or maybe showing up at your work place causing a scene.

“WHY?!!.... WHY NOT ME?!!!!!As Security drags them off.

Could happen.

And Facebook only gives you the two choices, Confirm or Ignore

Twitter sucks too! they don't even ask you.

No friend requests, no hello my name is...

Add to Favorite


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31 Votes Comments (126)  

Author's Message

"connects really well to Texting I always perform texting attached to the end of Facebook"
~ Don McDonald


Copyright Statement

copyright © Don McDonald 2010 all rights reserved
Don McDonald


Comments (126)

haha, that is hell good. can i use that for a school drama night?

Posted by: Mark   on 6/8/2009 at 3:16 AM
sure mark have fun. Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 6/9/2009 at 12:06 AM
Amazing monologue. You're very talented.

Posted by: Janey   on 7/1/2009 at 7:57 AM
great monologue man

Posted by: Ben   on 7/14/2009 at 4:51 PM
Would you mind if I used your Facebook Monologue for my audition? Or can you recommend anything else that is modern and funny that would go down well with the judges?

Posted by: Ash   on 7/20/2009 at 4:54 PM
Oh Restisaweapon=Don McDonald

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 7/21/2009 at 2:48 PM
Hey Don. I like the monologue that you wrote. Do you mind if I used it for school?

Posted by: Sunjit   on 8/28/2009 at 2:02 PM
Sure Sunjit, Let me know how it goes over. K?

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 9/6/2009 at 12:15 AM
Can I use this for the talent competition at our local pageant for senior girls?

Posted by: Candice   on 9/17/2009 at 7:13 PM
this was great can i use this as my h.i. for debate??

Posted by: giovhanna   on 9/23/2009 at 5:16 PM
Sure Candice and giovhanna have fun with it

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 10/2/2009 at 1:35 PM
Hey Don. Would this be good to use as a thing on youtube?

Posted by: Jessica   on 3/4/2010 at 1:18 PM
Hey Jessica, Yes I plan on videoing some of my stand up comedy soon. I started with writing, had a bunch more stuff on this site. Then wife and friends said I needed to do these pieces myself, so I removed all my others except this one. So yes utube will see my stuff soon. Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 3/5/2010 at 11:12 AM
Hey, can I use this monologue for my gr 11 drama class?

Posted by: ariel   on 3/11/2010 at 6:46 PM
sure ariel, let me know how it goes. Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 3/12/2010 at 12:56 AM
i love this! can i use it for my school pageant?

Posted by: allix   on 3/13/2010 at 8:30 PM
Sure allix have some fun with it. Let me know how it goes over. Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 3/13/2010 at 8:54 PM
hey guess ill use it for my oral test..i hope thats fine with u

Posted by: .....   on 4/20/2010 at 4:22 PM
..... that's a nice name. It must be easy to sign documents and stuff hey? Can I call you Dot for short? Anyway, Dot, hope you pass that oral. don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 4/20/2010 at 11:52 PM
Wow. This Is So Funny ! I Love It . (: Mind If I Use It To Preform For My Drama Class ?

Posted by: Melissa    on 4/27/2010 at 3:55 PM
Sure Melissa, I'm glad you like it. Have fun, Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 4/27/2010 at 11:03 PM
absolutely hilarious, i would love to use this to read on my video i'm sending home to my wife, i haven't seen her in two months since ive been deployed

Posted by: efirdc   on 7/13/2010 at 6:45 AM
Oh my god! That was amazing! And actually exactly what I have been looking for! Would you mind if I use that for my audition!?

Posted by: Morgan   on 7/21/2010 at 11:45 PM
Sure Morgan! Knock em dead. But join ictv, and add me as a friend and it will allow you to see the rest of the script (there's more). Oh, and I like to put the script 'Texting' right at the end of it. They fit so well together. Don peace, I mean "over and out"

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 7/22/2010 at 8:20 AM
hey, can i use this? please?

Posted by: itachikari   on 8/5/2010 at 1:02 AM
sure itachlkari but to get a look at the whole script you need to add me as a friend then look at the files on my page to see the rest of the script. Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 8/11/2010 at 1:59 AM
hey, that was so funny, can i use this for my audition?

Posted by: alyssa Z.   on 8/17/2010 at 2:13 PM
Hi alyssa yes you can use it. You may want to see the rest of the script though. To do that you'll need to add me as a friend first. Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 8/17/2010 at 6:29 PM
This was the answer to my monologue prayers!! I had such a hard time finding a great modern monologue that had not been overused, and then a google search led me to this. Would you mind if I used this for a theatre college scholarship audition? I would love to use this piece.

Posted by: Angie Kregg   on 10/8/2010 at 7:55 PM
Sure Angie, to get full access to the complete script you'll need to join icomedytv then add me as a friend. After that you'll be able to see the complete script on my page here at icomedytv under the "my files" tab. Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 10/9/2010 at 12:26 AM
Mr.McDonald, you are a genius!!!!! This piece is hilarious! I love it, it would be perfect for my "dramatic monologue" reading I have to do for my collgege speech class, if it's ok with you, may I use it? Thank you for sharing this with all of us! Hope you keep going with hilarious stuff like this! You are definetely very very gifted!

Posted by: Liz   on 11/9/2010 at 11:36 PM
Thank You Liz

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 11/10/2010 at 1:17 AM
Can I use this for a performance? Pweetty please?

Posted by: Jeremy    on 11/17/2010 at 11:55 AM
Hi Jeremy, yes you can as long as the performance is amateur and not professional. Pwetty please

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 11/18/2010 at 12:27 AM
hi!!! i really like your work...can i please use it...please...

Posted by: hennah nierva   on 11/18/2010 at 4:56 AM
don, may i use this for a speech for public speaking, if so i sent you the friend request. thanks.

Posted by: Logan   on 11/19/2010 at 12:45 PM
hi i would love to use this for a school project would you mind? -Libby

Posted by: libbydelioncort   on 11/28/2010 at 8:33 PM
hey Don!!! i love this sooo much! its absolutely hilarious! would you mind if i were to use it for forensics?

Posted by: liviray1818   on 1/12/2011 at 5:46 PM
Forensics? Like crime scene stuff? Anyway to see the full script you need to join ictv and then become my friend. To become my friend you have to say something nice like.....Oh yeah you already said something nice. Ok we can be friends then. ;=)

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 1/12/2011 at 6:17 PM
May I use this for school?

Posted by: Nila   on 2/9/2011 at 9:13 PM
that's good monologue

Posted by: rian   on 2/26/2011 at 12:22 AM
I added you (and made an account...) just so I could see the rest of this monologue. So, haha, don't be too creeped out by me. ^^

Posted by: Bella   on 4/20/2011 at 5:38 PM
This is hilarious!!! You're really good at these! Can i please use this for my drama class? Ohhh... also can u please add me as a friend.

Posted by: Mark Tadros   on 5/4/2011 at 4:28 PM
THAT'S A GOOD MONOLOGUE....! cAN I USE IT FOR STUDENTS IN SCHOOL? Suv

Posted by: suvarnamala   on 8/20/2011 at 8:08 AM
this is great!! may i use this for my next drama performance?

Posted by: Mingda   on 10/13/2011 at 4:02 AM
Hi Mingda, I always give permission for my scripts to be used by auditioning actors and drama students in any amateur applications. I reserve any professional applications for myself though. So where do you fit in? Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 10/14/2011 at 12:40 AM
Its only for a school play/assessment

Posted by: Mingda   on 10/18/2011 at 5:02 AM
Okay Minda, you have the permission. To read the full script you need to join ictv and become my friend (like facebook)

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 10/18/2011 at 9:03 AM
This was great! I hope you wouldn't mind if I used it for a high-school drama club audition. I'll be sure to credit you~ I'm pretty sure that they wanted one from a play or movie, but this was too great to pass up.

Posted by: Kay   on 10/18/2011 at 7:18 PM
mind if i use this for forensics? i just need to be able to see the whole thing. thanks!

Posted by: jessica   on 10/19/2011 at 9:48 PM
Kay and Jessica, yes you can use the script for you audition/drama class. ;) Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 10/21/2011 at 9:24 AM
Great monologue Don. Very funny. Mind if I use this for a presentation in my public speaking class?

Posted by: ZachE   on 11/1/2011 at 9:14 PM
Hey Don. Love this monlogue may i use this for my drama class performance?

Posted by: Chelseaisme   on 11/1/2011 at 11:07 PM
hey i would love to use your monologue for a video class of mine i will give you credit for the script. thanks

Posted by: TimC   on 11/18/2011 at 8:49 PM
I am auditioning for our school play Persephone and we need to do a monologue, can I please use this?? I have been looking for weeks and this is by far the best one I've found.

Posted by: Julia   on 11/29/2011 at 4:42 PM
Hi Julia, sure you can. You need to add me as a friend, I'll accept, then you'll have access to the full version of the script when you look at my Comedy Zone page under the tab "my files" Thanks Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 11/29/2011 at 11:05 PM
Hi Don, Its real fun reading your monologue ...could i use it for my drama class tomorrow? I have sent you a friend request as Angelmary....Thank you

Posted by: Princess   on 11/30/2011 at 10:45 PM
Hi Don, do u mind if i use this for declamation?

Posted by: Simon   on 12/19/2011 at 6:37 PM
maa ke lavde ....madarchod bhosdike ..teri behen ko chod donga agar agali baar se aise skit dega

Posted by: qwerty   on 12/30/2011 at 2:42 AM
I'd love to read the full script! This is so good!

Posted by: delineas92   on 1/18/2012 at 6:43 PM
Hiya Please may i use ur awesome script on an ameteur level. I will make nothing off it- just for fun. Please

Posted by: chelsea2911   on 1/22/2012 at 9:26 AM
my musical threatre teacher got this for me so i could to it in front of the class we all loved it can u do one about horses plz it would really help i have to find one for saturday thank u

Posted by: Saddles   on 2/2/2012 at 12:19 PM
Sorry Saddles, Can't write a quality piece that quickly :-(

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 2/2/2012 at 6:42 PM
Hi Don, Once again please can I use your script. It will be on a completely ameteur level. Please.

Posted by: chelsea2911   on 2/3/2012 at 9:51 AM
Hello, Don. I've been looking at all of your pieces and I really enjoyed this one along with 'Cell Phones'. I'm wondering if you'd allow me to use this piece as a Forensics monologue for a solo acting--humorous piece or cell phones... Thanks much.

Posted by: Kay   on 2/5/2012 at 7:54 PM
Actually, pardon me on Cell phones.... that had been another piece I read prior to writing that. I just wasn't thinking. Sorry about that. However, all of your monologues are amazingly done but this one really hit me and I'd love it if you'd let me use it. Again, sorry for the confusion.

Posted by: Kay   on 2/5/2012 at 7:58 PM
Hello, Don. I was wondering if i can use the facebook community monologue for my advanced acting class?

Posted by: jared onley   on 2/7/2012 at 9:11 AM
Hey, Don I was wondering if I could use this ACSI, and my english class.

Posted by: Jeffrey    on 2/16/2012 at 11:45 PM
Jeffrey, if your english teacher saw that sentence what would he/she say? ;-) What the heck is ACSI? Anyway sure you can use it. To see the full version you'll have to add me as a friend. When I accept a tab will appear on my profile page called MY FILES

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 2/17/2012 at 2:25 AM
Hey Don would it be okay if I used this piece for my forencis competition? Last time I got your permission to use The Weather Network and I placed 2nd. Please tell me your thoughts Sir.

Posted by: sjaorsah   on 2/22/2012 at 5:43 AM
sir, can i use ur piece at school? im looking for a piece for a while now. and i found yours. so may i sir?

Posted by: json   on 3/7/2012 at 8:15 PM
Sure you can json. I always give permission for students and auditioning actors. You need to become a member of ictv, then friend request me to get access to the full version of it. Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 3/7/2012 at 11:48 PM
My face hurts from smiling. I've never laughed so much before. This is amazing! Is there any way I could use this piece and "Texting" for a talent show at school?

Posted by: PaulS223   on 3/8/2012 at 6:48 PM
Hii can i use this for a competion in my school?

Posted by: Andrea   on 3/13/2012 at 10:35 AM
Hi Paul, Yes school competitions are Ok for use. I just reserve any professional uses for myself. Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 3/13/2012 at 11:10 AM
You too Andrea

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 3/13/2012 at 11:24 AM
First off let me say that you are ingenius and you have a really creative mind! :D Anyway, I just want to get the green light to use this for my upcoming forensic meet, "Facebook" really brakes the ice unlike all the boring, dreadfully long debate speeches all my friends are doing... This will actually be entertaining. I added you as a friend to get the full version. Thank you so much!!!! ;) ~Isaiah~

Posted by: Isaiah.   on 3/13/2012 at 7:46 PM
Cool. This is like the best monologue I've ever read, and it just made my day. Thanks Don. Can I use it for my oral assessment?

Posted by: Calvin   on 3/14/2012 at 2:58 AM
wow This monologue is great!!!! I luv it !! Can I use your monologue for my school work??

Posted by: Rachel   on 3/20/2012 at 7:12 AM
This is great! Can I use it for my assignment in school?

Posted by: Sophia   on 3/20/2012 at 4:28 PM
Hey this is great can i use it for my school?

Posted by: Vance   on 4/4/2012 at 7:22 PM
Great script Don! Would you mind if I used it for my talent show tomorrow?

Posted by: Jason   on 4/11/2012 at 7:01 AM
Wow! Great monolugue, your talented man! Hey do you mind if I use this for my drama exam at school?

Posted by: Elliot   on 4/12/2012 at 11:13 AM
sure, school use is fine with me

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 4/12/2012 at 5:40 PM
Hey this is what im looking for can i use a couple of these for college please? :D

Posted by: Tedders123   on 4/14/2012 at 4:03 PM
I would love to use this in my college communcations class. i just friend requested you, thanks.

Posted by: shroom79   on 4/16/2012 at 3:49 PM
hey, can i please use this for school? this is a great script.

Posted by: Awesome   on 4/26/2012 at 5:55 AM
it is gr8 pls can i use it 4 skl comedy play

Posted by: sofia   on 5/3/2012 at 1:26 PM
Sure you need to become my friend to see the full version.

Posted by: Don Mcdonald    on 5/3/2012 at 7:09 PM
Funny! Can I perform this for my theatre class??

Posted by: Cool   on 5/7/2012 at 3:33 PM
Sure but you need to become my friend to view the full script. Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 5/7/2012 at 5:22 PM
Hi Don, My English class is having a monologue competition and this would be perfect. Can I please use it? Thanks.

Posted by: AndriannaP   on 5/9/2012 at 5:17 PM
Sure Adrianna have fun with it. Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 5/9/2012 at 10:31 PM
i have to do a monologue for my theater project may i please use this

Posted by: maddi   on 5/9/2012 at 11:34 PM
Sure Maddi have fun with it!

Posted by: Don Mcdonald   on 5/11/2012 at 12:02 AM
I have a speech contest coming up and I was thinking of using your monologue. May I please use it?

Posted by: Logan Kornota   on 5/20/2012 at 11:40 AM
Amazing monologue. Is it alright if I use it for a final in my Drama class?

Posted by: RJWheeler   on 5/21/2012 at 1:34 PM
Hey Don could I possibly use this monologue for an audition? It's great and exactly what am looking for :) Thanks

Posted by: Kelly Malone   on 6/5/2012 at 8:59 PM
Funny and true monologue!!! Can i use it for a pagent???

Posted by: Kory Cameron   on 6/9/2012 at 6:33 PM
Awesome monologue and its so true its not even funny. Can i use this for class

Posted by: Brian M   on 6/13/2012 at 8:04 PM
This is very true and funny! May I please use it for a speech presentation for my class?

Posted by: Maena   on 6/14/2012 at 11:37 PM
Hey. this is very true & funny .. this is perfect for my theatre final. can i use this pleeeeeeeaaaaasssssssseeeee ?

Posted by: Naquelle   on 6/17/2012 at 11:35 PM
Yes Naquelle, you can you will need to join the site and become my friend on the site to have access to the full version. Don

Posted by: Don   on 6/18/2012 at 12:24 AM
good work halarious

Posted by: madison gpmez (selena gomez sister)   on 6/18/2012 at 7:13 PM
May I please use this for a school monologue assignment, please?

Posted by: sara_129   on 8/4/2012 at 4:08 AM
Is 'No friend requests, no hello my name is…' the last line of this monologue or is there more? i would really like to use the whole thing for my school monologue presentation... thank you !

Posted by: sara_129   on 8/6/2012 at 5:45 AM
may i use this for my acting class please? thanks, riley

Posted by: riley kate   on 8/17/2012 at 4:48 PM
that was so funny, can i use this for my audition?

Posted by: VIXEN   on 8/21/2012 at 1:48 AM
hey! I love this!!:D could i use it for my speech class?:)

Posted by: Merritt, bro   on 9/12/2012 at 7:58 PM
Hi I like this one too!! I really want something funny that will win the audition panel over! can you suggest anything else? may I please use this? thanks!

Posted by: becsea   on 9/15/2012 at 8:02 AM
Hey Don, Just wandering im doing an audition for Dick whittington next week and was wandering can I maybe steal this to use for my monologue? Its great for my character and I fell in love with it as soon as I read it :)

Posted by: James Brotherton   on 9/17/2012 at 3:47 PM
James you need to join the website and friend me to be able to see the whole script. I give permission for any nonprofessional uses (auditions and school work are OK) Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 9/17/2012 at 11:51 PM
this is good,may i use it for pre-final exam if ok?

Posted by: michelle ayo   on 9/21/2012 at 10:10 PM
sir, can i use ur piece for school recitation??

Posted by: Kyle Rabosa   on 11/19/2012 at 4:01 AM
Yes Kyle you can, but you need to become a member of the site, then add me as a friend to be able to see the full version of Facebook. Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 11/19/2012 at 11:51 AM
hey may i use ur script for college stage show :)

Posted by: slim   on 1/19/2013 at 1:18 PM
Hi slim, Sure I always give permission for any student, auditioning actor or non-professional uses. I just reserve any professional applications for myself. You need to join the site and friend me to get the full version. Don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 1/19/2013 at 9:22 PM
can i please please use this

Posted by: safa   on 3/5/2013 at 2:34 AM
Sure I always give permission for any student, auditioning actor or non-professional uses. I just reserve any professional applications for myself. You need to join the site and friend me to get the full version. don

Posted by: Don McDonald   on 3/5/2013 at 4:32 PM
Hi Don, Your'e piece is brilliant! May I perform it for an assessment task? Thanks in advance!

Posted by: Joel Slater   on 3/13/2013 at 6:30 AM
May I please perform this for a talent show and have it filmed? The video will give you credit.

Posted by: Darius Fraser   on 5/23/2013 at 7:55 PM
Hello Don! I just think that you are a talented and BRILLIANT writer. I am looking for a couple monologues as I was just signed with an acting agency. You're scripts are the best on the web and I would LOVE to have the honor of reading them! Would you mind helping out this 12 year old boy please? :). Have a nice day!

Posted by: Colton Gobbo   on 8/28/2013 at 6:51 PM
Hi Don I love ur script is it ok if I use this for drama

Posted by: samantha   on 9/8/2013 at 12:56 PM
Thanks

Posted by: samantha   on 9/8/2013 at 12:58 PM
Can I please use this for a forensics meet??????

Posted by: Mithil Prasad   on 10/17/2013 at 9:08 PM
Hello Don, May i use this piece for my acting channel on youtube? Thank you

Posted by: HuniJ   on 1/29/2014 at 10:59 AM


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