A Birthday Present

Two best friends, Steve and John are sitting on the couch. They're drinking beer and chilling.
Steve: Happy birthday buddy.
John: What? You remembered. 
Steve: You didn't think I was going to forget it. Well I've got something special for you this year.
John: What is it? I can't wait.
Steve: Patience dude. For right now just sing with me.
John: All right. 
Steve (singing): I'm not gay.
John (singing): I'm not gay.
Steve (singing): But today...
John: Wait. What? I'm not going to sing that.
Steve: Why?
John: You said but. Why is there a but? We don't need a but.
Steve: Yes we do. And not just any but. Pamela Anderson's but.
John: I don't understand.
Steve: Remember long time ago when you said you wanted to squeeze on Pamela Anderson's but for your birthday.
John: Yeah, that would be the day.
Steve: Guess what day is that.
John: Wait, you're not trying to say that Pamela is here.
Steve: Wow it took you long enough.
John: Is it Pamela from the nineties or today's Pamela?
Steve: What do you think, you idiot? I don't have a time machine. It's today's Pamela. 
John: Since we're talking fairy tales, I figured I would add some lines.
Steve: You still don't believe me? Hey Pam. 
Pamela Anderson enters the room. John's jaws are open. 
Pamela Anderson: Happy birthday buddy.
She shakes her but. John is still confused. Pam gets closer,her but first. Suddenly John steps out of his confusion. 
John:Oh, I know what this is. It's a dream. Yeah it certainly  feels like it. There is no way she's here.
Steve: What? Are you crazy? Do you know how much I payed for this?
John: Sorry Pamela, but you can go now. I'm not falling for it.
Pamela leaves dissapointed.
Steve: What the hell is wrong with you?
John: You had me there for a moment.
Steve slaps John over his mouth.
John: Wow, what was that for?
Steve: Let me explain it you. Does it hurt?
John: Of course it hurts. You hit me.
Steve: And why does it hurt you idiot?
John: I don't know. Natural reaction?
Steve: Because it is not a dream. You turned away Pamela.
John ( realizes what happened ): Wait Pamela. I forgive you. Nooooo.
Steve: Let me tell you something you fool. When you get yourself in a situation like this you don't ask questions. You don't care if it's a dream, or not, you don't care if it's an earthquake, or a hurricane, you go for the but. Ask questions later. 
John:Well I've got one right now.
Steve:What is it?
John: How much she charges for weddings?