This script is to be played by a male and a female. The two have recently been going through fights so the man, Jonathan, decides to break up with the woman, Cassandra. Cassandra does not agree with this and from this, so a hilarious fight breaks out between the two, mentioning funny past events.
Jonathan (J): Cassandra, I think we should break up. There's been a lot going on between us and I don't think we're right for each other.
Cassandra (C): What do you mean?
J: (Sighing) We just aren't meant for each other anymore.
C: (Confused) We are perfect for each other! What went wrong.
J: (motions around the house) Your shit is all over the place!
C: Uh, no it isn't! If it was, you would've called a plumber.
J: (Aggravated) Not that type of shit.
C: Then what are you talking about?
J: (Picking up items) Shirt, socks, bra, underwear, shit, shit. Shit! Shit! SHIT!
C: (Picking up Jonathan's items) Socks, shirts, shorts, shoes, more socks, and more shit than I've ever had in my life!
J: Are you kidding me? This is my house. I can do what I want with it.
C: I pay rent, I can do what I want with this house!
J: We just are not meant to be together, okay?
C: Fine. Get out.
J: What? It's MY house!
C: Really? (holds up a piece of paper, regarding ownership of the house)
J: Are you kidding me?
C: (Marks out Jonathon's name and writes 'Cassandra')
J: (Snatches paper) What did you do?
C: (Cackling) Get out of MY house!
J: Cassandra, we've been over this before.
C: Oh we have?
J: Yes! We have! Now give me back my house.
C: You mean my house?
J: Don't do this.
C: (holding a chainsaw) Do what?
J: We've been over this too.
C: (sawing table in half) Since when?
J: My table! (table breaks in half)
J: Get out.
J: (grabs chainsaw and points it toward Cassandra)
C: (grabs shovel and hits Johnathon on the head, knocking him out)
To be continued...
For the full script, PM me.