Ed Sheeran saves Hamelin

Ed Sheeran saves Hamelin

(2m)   by gritt brewer

Comedy Skits   (365 Views 1 Comments)

the sleepy town of Hamelin, was a idyllic place

it was filled with happy folk, with a smile on their face

but unbenown to the citizens, things were about to get complex

for the rats beneath in the sewers, were having unprotected sex

up they came flooded the streets, and terrified householders

the local cats took one look, said fuck this for a game of soldiers


oh it was the worst of times, people quaked in fear

they chased families out of their homes, said rodent law rules here

the mayor he called a meeting, at the old town hall

he said we need to get us some help, can someone make a call

someone shouted i know a guy, he's as cunning as a viper

he'll help us out, he's a upright guy, they call him the Paedo Piper

he'll rid us of our problem, all the vermin will be deceased

and then he'll say a prayer for us, cos he used to be a priest


the Piper came the next day, he had a look around

the river is the key he said, to save your lovely town

but first gather all the kids, and send them to my quarters

for i want to show my pipe, to your sons and your daughters


the rats how they river danced, to the tune the piper played

they all sank without a trace, he was showered with accolades

paraded as a hero, his popularity was off the charts

it was then the rumours started, that he had touched more than hearts

he was chased out of the town, and banished from the land

he was never seen again, and everything was grand


but two deaf rats had survived, the pipers genocide

they bred like bunny rabbits, their numbers multiplied

once again they engulfed the town, in numbers most obscene

it was like a rodent Woodstock, it had the people fleeing

bring back the Paedo Piper, someone was heard to say

maybe he's got counselling, and has changed his ways

to hell with the Paedo Piper. our kids all fear him

why don't we get that ginger chap, the one called Ed Sheeran

Sheeran came with his guitar, and made some beautiful noise

rats danced their little legs off, they were truly mesmerised

that night as they all slept soundly, tired from boogying neath the star

good old Ed, smashed in their heads, with his trusty guitar

Ed Sheeran was the hero, he had conquered the vermin

and showed no inappropiate behaviour, in the town of Hamelin

the Paedo Piper once the king of musical pest control

cursed the ginger troubador, as he signed on the dole


Comedy Type: Humor Type: Comedy Scene:
1 Person
Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
Permission for use:
Permission not required

Author's Message

Ed should really consider putting a tune to this and performing it as it very much shows him in a positive light

Copyright Statement



Submitted by gritt brewer on Sat, 05/05/2018 - 04:36
as a citizen of hamelin i know this is a true story. Ed is very much the town hero

1 Person 2m Comedy Skits - Ed Sheeran saves Hamelin