Smartness-A Fed-up Pessimist's View

Smartness-A Fed-up Pessimist's View

(Unknown)   by runnr4lfe77

Comedy Monologues   (58407 Views 25 Comments)

So I’ve always done well in school and crap. I was one of those “smart kids.” Everyone was always like, you’re smart! You’ll do great in life! Going to these magnet schools will be good for you later on life! Really? Is that really how it is? Because I just love waking up super early so I can catch the bus to my magnet school! Then in the afternoon, I get out at the same time as everyone else in the county, but guess who gets to get home an hour later since my magnet school is far away? Whoa, no way-me!

Then there’s the schoolwork. I mean, doing homework and stuff isn’t that bad, my brain can handle it. It’s my back that’s giving up on me. Sure, a piece of paper doesn’t weigh a whole lot. Neither does plastic, little pieces of metal, or whatever other crap I have in there. But the weight adds up. Steadily, not so slowly, but it adds up. Before I know it, that textbook becomes two textbooks, couple of binders, just three to four or ten packets of paper I get per class, and other random crap I “need” adds up to 50 pounds on a light day! Which leads me to why the heck the stereotypical nerd is fat?!? Carrying that up and down three flights of stairs each day and tell me where the fat nerd is.

So back to the homework. There’s always a crap load of it since teachers think smart people don’t have a life outside of school or something. Of course, with all that work, what life? Oh another stupid stereotype-smart people, or nerds, all work hard and do their work efficiently. HAHAHA no. We procrastinate just as much as everyone else does. In fact, I practically guarantee we procrastinate more. Though since we do, I must say I’ve gotten quite good at it.

Every weekend when I’m procrastinating on my hw, I go on Facebook and look through my news feed….all my everyday normal shade of dumb friends are like, going to the mall! Smiley face! So and so is going to this great party! Then there’s me…doing homework…! Not-so-smiley face…

So in the end, what’s so great about being a “smart kid?” To hell with it, I’d rather take the short bus with the rest of the dumb blondes.

Comedy Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:

Author's Message

By popular demand (and a stroke of luck for the inspiration xD) is my second comedy piece! Like I said before, any advice and criticism would be greatly appreciated!

Copyright Statement



Submitted by restisaweapon on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 13:37
Way to go Mr. Li (easier to type). A great script. Your already a good writer. You'll make it funnier in editing. What I mean is, you have lots of funny there with chat in between. Try editing out anything that just chat. You want your funny parts to have as few words in between as possible. Don
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 14:42
That would be Miss Li...and thank you, i'll keep your advice in mind when I go back to edit this piece. It probably won't be for a while since I have exams coming up and stuff :/
Submitted by Turid (not verified) on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 05:01
Tricky one, this one. If he just leaves the funny stuff, he might as well leave it all in as IT IS ALL FUNNY!
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 08:56
Turid: dude, i'm a she- *MISS* Li. glad you like the script though...
Submitted by masterRahl on Wed, 10/12/2011 - 14:48
Hello, Miss Li. I am a sophomore at a small independent high school in Kentucky and am now picking up speech, Ive worked with the drama department but have never performed speech. I I would love to use this in competition and would greatly appreciate your approval. I love it by the way, I feel as though you wrote this piece about me, I think we'd be good friends if we ever met. I promise to videotape myself and send it to you to see if I did it right for competition.
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Wed, 10/12/2011 - 15:12
I'd glad you like it! You have my permission to use this piece. Please give me credit in some form. I'd love to see your performance-please email it to Good luck!
Submitted by Nancy (not verified) on Sat, 10/22/2011 - 03:15
Hi Miss Li, I'm a senior in high school looking for a good monologue for an audition to my last musical. I really love this script :) Would it be okay for me to use it for my audition?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sat, 10/22/2011 - 05:01
Hi Nancy, I'd glad you like my script! You have my permission to use this piece for your audition. As I've said before, please give me credit in some form. Good luck!
Submitted by Edwin (not verified) on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:39
Hey Miss Li! Just wondering if I could use this to audition for my school production!
Submitted by Jesse (not verified) on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 00:13
I liked the last two lines, but that's it. No offense, but I would rather use a monologue with more sarcastic jokes, and less complaining.
Submitted by Amanda (not verified) on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 14:18
I like this because it's so true, and so me. I laughed out loud at the fat-nerd part. Good funniness :)
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Wed, 02/15/2012 - 05:09
Thank you Amanda! I'm glad you liked it :)
Submitted by Carmen (not verified) on Fri, 03/23/2012 - 18:02
I would like to use this peice in my auditons. Would it be okay if I used it, but instead of hell I say heck.
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sat, 03/24/2012 - 04:59
Carmen-go for it. The change in phrasing is fine. Like I've said, please give me credit. Good luck!
Submitted by Kyle NItschke (not verified) on Tue, 10/23/2012 - 16:51
I'd love to use this piece in a performance, do I have your permission?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 06:37
Yup, best of luck Kyle!
Submitted by Brittan Posey (not verified) on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 16:12
Looking for some great monologues for an audition next week! Would love permissions to use it. Thanks!
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 07:20
Thanks Brittan! Go ahead, best of luck!
Submitted by CJ (not verified) on Wed, 01/08/2014 - 06:21
Hi, Miss. Li! I was wondering if I could have your permission to use this piece?
Submitted by CJ (not verified) on Tue, 01/28/2014 - 04:11
I am absolutely in love with this piece. I have an audition coming up and was wondering if I could have your permission to use this piece. I would absolutely love to use it! PLEASE???
Submitted by Josh (not verified) on Sat, 11/22/2014 - 12:19
This monologue mirrors how my school life is almost every way! Except the homework is pretty bad for me (I still persevere pretty well though) and my back is perfectly fine since I have a roller backpack and I love being smart and I wish for a different solution to the problem rather than riding on the dumb blonde bus since the ignorance of knowledge pisses me off. Miss Li, may I please use your immaculate monologue for a recital that I have in 2 weeks from today, Saturday of the 22nd of November, in 2014???
Submitted by xrezola on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 09:58
Miss Li, would it be okay for me to use this script in my performance. It is a very amazing script, great job.
Submitted by Eileen Yost on Wed, 04/15/2015 - 03:51
Hi, I am a colloege junior and I was wondering if I could use this for my end of year performance review?
Submitted by Eileen Yost on Wed, 04/15/2015 - 03:52
Oops, meant college!
Submitted by Ellie (not verified) on Thu, 11/03/2016 - 02:30
I absolutely LOVE this piece!! I say most of these things on a daily basis!!! I have a monologue performance for English class coming up and wanted to know if I could use this piece? I'm really excited about this one!

Unknown Comedy Monologues - Smartness-A Fed-up Pessimist's View