Live Or Be Loved Girl

Live Or Be Loved Girl

(2m)   by gritt brewer

Funny Stories   (5674 Views 0 Comments)

wanna tell you I'm a hell of a guy but unfulfilled in life

need for me a dead ol girl, just to see me right

a damsel in distress, on a slab in a mortuary

a sweetheart with a weak heart, who has lost the will to breathe


Live or be loved girl, you got to pick and choose

cos I've got me the Necrophilia blues

if you want your heart to beat my girl, you're just going to lose

cos I've got me the Necrophilia blues


telling you if i feel a pulse, I'm a love tortoise

but figure on some vigor, if you got rigor mortis

for you can look like a million dollars, my passions will be calmed

but much amour, much encored, if you're well embalmed


don't care if you're falling to pieces or slightly decomposing

I'll get me some super glue, give you a good hosing

for if you are as stiff as a board, get to supposing

I'll be the same way too, and I will come proposing


tried a ad in the lonely hearts, that was just a flop

got well and truly shown the door at the body shop

pleaded with the cemetery, for one of the fresh crop

told them I'd put it back when i filled it to the top


people called me a deviant, so i went to the therapist

i sympathize is what he said, but you got to resist

keep it this side of legal, and good times will flow

got a red raw knob from my new job as a hospice gigolo

Comedy Type: Humor Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:

Author's Message

if the blow up doll was never invented security at cemeteries would have to be seriously stepped up. gravediggers doubling as pimps is such a unsavory thought

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2m Funny Stories - Live Or Be Loved Girl