if happiness was a horse

if happiness was a horse

(2.5m)   by gritt brewer
 

Comedy Skits   (12900 Views 0 Comments)

we had a great relationship, a real rip snorter

then you made a arse of my heart, ripped out my aorta

you said we're not compatible, but its a fact

the science books say that opposites attract

a fun night out is what you said you would appreciate

shouldn't have brought you badger baiting on a first date

tried to do things romantic, but with you i came a cropper

you said handcuffs on a second date, wasn't right and proper

so i sang to you neath your balcony, you seemed a touch afraid

should have left the amps at home, for that moon light serenade

if happiness was a horse, you would be my saddle

if i was stuck in a creek of shit, you would be my paddle

if i was a hermit all alone, living in a quarry where the sun never shone

you would be my favorite stone, shined and polished but never ever thrown, away

 

thought you'd want me to meet your folks, tell them we're a pair

i watched them as i slept, and gently caressed their hair

begged you to meet my mum, you eventually said fine

should have stopped digging, when you fainted the first time

little jokes i played, your reaction was extreme

like when i buried, your dialysis machine

you hated my friends, just cos they were make believe

that really hurt my bestie, poor invisible Steve

if happiness was a horse, you would be my saddle

if i was stuck in a creek of shit, you would be my paddle

if i was a eunuch doing  harem security, and i saw you there in all your glory

I'd liberate you from your slavery, stitch my bollocks back escape on a dromedary, away

 

wanted to fertilize you, if you would be agreeing

my old swim team slithering up your stream

you'd be like a old cat, that got the cream

my albino tadpoles, would realize their dream

cant believe you want to be alone again

don't believe you wont phone again

I'd do anything for you no matter how draconian

I'd even climb the highest desert, that's the Patagonian

if happiness was a horse, you would be my saddle

if i was stuck in a creek of shit, you would be my paddle

if i were a lion and you a deer, I'd turn vegetarian, do you hear

tell all the other cats their carnivore career, is now herbivore or they'll disappear, away

 

 

 

Comedy Type: Humor Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
Public

Author's Message

a tragic tale of unrequited love

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2.5m Comedy Skits - if happiness was a horse