(2m)   by Sidney

Comedy Skits   (5533 Views 0 Comments)

Cast of Characters

Cook - a funny, inexperienced baker who has absolutely no idea what he/she is doing.                                               Food Critic - must be able to keep a straight face during jokes.

COOK: Hello!

FOOD CRITIC: Hello, what will I be tasting?

COOK: A pie, of course!


(The cook takes out a big bowl and a spoon. There is also a cheese grater, eggs, lettuce, chalk, bread, and milk on the table. A garbage can is next to the food critic.)

COOK: First the chalk.


COOK: Yes, yes.

(The cook pulls out the cheese grater.)

FOOD CRITIC: Are you SURE you're experienced?

COOK: Oh, yes, how do you work this stupid thing?


COOK: Oh, well!

(The cook places the chalk in the bowl.)

FOOD CRITIC: What's next?

COOK: This pie needs to be as light as a garden salad, soooo, 

FOOD CRITIC: (Almost gagging) LETTUCE?

COOK: Oh, THAT'S what you call this green rabbit treat.

FOOD CRITIC: Yeah... have you ever made a pie before?

COOK: Yup!

FOOD CRITIC: You sure?

COOK: EGGS next! This is gonna taste gooood!

FOOD CRITIC: Oh, so, now, we're doing the eggs, butter, flour, sugar combination?

COOK: What's that?

FOOD CRITIC: I'm starting to doubt the "experienced" part of this.

COOK: Oh, don't worry. I've been doing this for a LONG time.

FOOD CRITIC: Okay then.

(The cook drops the eggs in the mix, shells and all.)

FOOD CRITIC: Not the shells!

COOK: They give it that DELICIOUS crunchy texture.


COOK: Yep! Oooh, this is my favorite part!

FOOD CRITIC: The part where you make it taste good?

COOK: No, silly, the BREAD!


COOK: Mm-hm!

FOOD CRITIC: You don't seem,

COOK: Experienced?


COOK: Oh, I am!

(The cook drops a full loaf of bread into the mix. He/she hands the bag to the food critic)

COOK: Hold this.

FOOD CRITIC: Uh, okay.

COOK: Like all the EXPERIENCED say,  there's no chance of a good pie without dairy!

FOOD CRITIC: So, you're adding milk?

COOK: Precisely!

(The cook dumps milk into the bowl and pours the mix into a pie pan)


(The cook goes to put the pie-pan into the toaster-oven.)

FOOD CRITIC: Wait! Aren't you going to add sugar?

COOK: No, why?

FOOD CRITIC: Because if you were experienced, you'd know that...

COOK: I AM experienced!

(The cook shoves the pie-pan into the small toaster-oven, and almost immediately pulls out a new pie.)

COOK: Mm, you're going to like this!!

FOOD CRITIC: I don't know about that.

(Reluctantly the food critic takes a bite and starts to gag.)

COOK: So... how is it?

FOOD CRITIC: It's... (choking) so... (making disgusted faces), delicious - OH GOD!

(The food critic pulls off the cook's hat and spits the pie into it)


COOK: I TOLD her I wasn't experienced. She shouldn't have tried my FIRST PIE! Maybe I should've used a recipe... 

(The cook takes off her hat and tries a lick of the pie from inside)

COOK: Chalk. It needed more chalk.

Comedy Type: Humor Type: Comedy Scene:
2 Person
Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
Permission for use:
Permission not required

Author's Message

My friend and I performed this and got lots of laughs! Here's a hint! Have a store-bought pie in the toaster-oven so the cook can put in the mix and pull out the new pie already in there!

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2 Person 2m Comedy Skits - Pie