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Harry Potter- The True Story
H= I?ll never die Tom NEVER!
V= you dare call me by my real name Potter? Do not forget I killed your mom
H= Oh yah and who was your mom? Oh, yes Tom that?s right I know
V= Oh how funny but you don?t
H= Oh your right... wait huh you?re not I know Tom I know it all
V= Fine do your worst... weakling
H= Oh trust me I will... This is truly horrifying, but not that surprising since we all have seen who Tom really is right now he is the most terrifying, hated
V= OH GET TO THE POINT YOUR JUST STALLING!
H= Fine you asked for it, Tom?s mom is GODZILLA!
V= WAIT time out (makes T sign with hand) Accio Bellatrix, What is this I hear, who spread this! NOW THEY WILL BE MAKING MOVIES ABOUT MY MOM WITH HER YELLING AND TERRYFYING PEOPLE WHILE CLIMBING UP THE EMPIRE STATE (or what is left of it after the attack we made).
B= My Lord, I don?t mean to disrupt you but remember what the doctor said you need to calm down we can?t afford anymore of your tantrums especially after you threw that bed out of the Knight bus window but also that?s not your mom that?s your father King Kong!
V= I do not care that I am talking about the wrong person just tell me HOW IT GOT OUT!
B= Whispers in Voldemort?s ear
V= Stan Shunpike? In a bar! Oh, I will kill that little
B= Whispers in Voldemort?s ear again
V= Hah already in Azkaban I see, well serves him right for spreading rumors around like that
H= Um Tom that?s not a rumor it?s the truth
V= and who told you this, that puny little Dumbledore I expect... Well Potter it is too late for me to kill him but I can still finish you
S= Wait my Lord, let me take over
V=Snape? What are you doing here?
S= Oh, my Lord there is not enough time, let me have the boy, I know how to truly destroy him
(Snape drops his wand Harry looks confused)
S= your dad was so fat that he sat on the I-pod and created the I-pad
H= Oh we?re playing it this way huh? (Harry drops his wand too)
H= Snivilleus your dad was so fat that
S= Really Potter you think you can pull that on me, let me tell you a little story, your dad once thought he was so great so I challenged him so swim across the English channel, he did but he got tired halfway through so guess what he did, he swam all the way back
H= Whoa there Hold on (searches pockets for resurrection stone) Nope not that, oh ok here it is, (turns stone is hand, James appears) DAD YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU DID THOSE THINGS HOW COULD YOU!
J= How could I, why would I tell you about me being stupid, you would think less of me
H= True enough, but still couldn?t you have told me a tinny bit (Harry and James have silent fight while...)
V= Severus what are you doing here, do you think I cannot handle myself
S= No not that my Lord I hold you in highest respect
V= Well then why did you not let me finish the boy? Did I do something?
S= No it is not you my Lord it is me; you see I am a married man!
V= WHAT TIME OUT AGAIN (makes T sign with hands) Bellatrix what is this I hear about Snape being married? It is not in the script!
B= Um my Lord right there did you not see that
V= Well why should I have I only looked at my lines since I am just so talented
B= My Lord please just carry on (rolls her eyes)
V= Fine then Snape, let us see what you think of this! AVADA KEDAVRA!
(Snape appears in Harry and James? fight)
H= Snape what are you doing here, I never loved you
S= Oh Harry I kept this so long, but I am your father
H= WHAT NOOO THAT?S NOT POSSIBLE HOW COULD IT BE... WHHYYYYYYY!
L= Harry dear calm down it is true, Snape is also your father
J= Wait dear you LIED TO ME!
L= Well I did what I thought was best for everyone
J= Well you failed, I cannot be with you anymore, goodbye
L= James no don?t leave me
S= Do not worry Lilly I will not leave you like that good for nothing James Potter
L= Thank you Snivilleus
S= what did you call me?
L= Sorry Severus
H= Ginny? Please don?t look at me I?m ill
G= Harry your ill well come with me my mom can fix anything
H= but Ginny this is not just anything I have... BEIBER FEAVER!
G= BEIBER FEAVER! How that?s not possible!
(Ron walks in on the scene)
R= Harry I cannot stand you and Ginny anymore I am taking back my permission on you two dating (Ron looks up surprised) Oh Ill just leave now
G= OH no Ron you and me are going to talk (walks away pulling Ron) Now what is this I hear about you saying you gave me permission to date Harry
R: Well you can?t blame me I am your big brother so I THINK THAT I HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY.
G: (cuts Ron off) RESPONSIBILITY! Ron you, you...
V: Harry why are your friends so weird?
J: Son I know I was never there to give you advice but still I think that yuo should have chosen better friends!
Voldemort and Bellatrix are sitting down
V: Tell me Bellatrix, did Snape have a wedding?
B: Yes, actually, it was quite lovely but you were attacking the empire state building then
V: Ah, I see... so did we get him a gift.
B: Yes a very nice tombstone
V: Weird I think he regifted that to me for Christmas!