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Game Show Host Goes On A Date
GSH: Hello old people,school skippers, and people with no lives I?m tom tomson, we are here on location at the??.we?re going to take a quick commercial break
Billy Mays: HI I?M BILLY MAYS DO YOU NEED OXI-CLEAN?
GSH: On second thought we are back on location at the sizzler, I?m going on a date with(girl walks in)??..(to girl) what?s your name honey?
Girl: We?ve been dating for 5 months do you really need me to tell you?
GSH: So Danielle, what is your weight?
Girl: None of your damn buisness
GSH: Okay so what is your height?
Girl: Why do you need to know these things? Are you going to build a criminal profile with all my information in it?
GSH: So danielle, we are going to go to commercial, but when we come back I?m going to get us a table
Girl: What? You haven?t made reservations?
GSH: NO!!!! RESEVATIONS ARE LONG TERM COMMITMENTS!!
Girl: No they aren?t!
GSH: alright so this show is brought to you by??..
Random dude: (jingle begins) Eat at sizzler it?s radioactive it can make you FLY!!!(whispers) or die
GSH: Alrighty everybody we are back and danielle and I have just ordered a table
Girl: Yeah next to the bathroom because SOMEBODY didn?t get reservations
GSH: yes now we are going to look at the menu
Voice: What danielle doesn?t know is tom is only going to spend a certain amount of money on this date. Danielle has to guess what it is
Girl: um???. 40 dollars?(buzzer) 30 dollars?(buzzer) 20 dollars?(buzzer) I give up.
Voice: The correct response is?????.
GSH: We need to take another commercial break
Random person: (fast) GO TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS!
Voice: And we are back, the amount of money tom is going to spend is?? nothing he?s not paying because you are.
Girl: WHAT?!?!?! Nobody told me that!
GSH: it was in the contract sweetheart
Girl: Don?t call me sweetheart
GSH: sure thing honey pie
Girl: okay well if you call me that I will call you short stack
GSH: I dare you, tootsiepop
Girl: You listen here, I don?t need a pet name and I don?t want one either. You are just a cheap person who talks weird
GSH: I was born with a condition that all current game show hosts have that make me talk like this. It?s called Game Show Host voice-illitess
Girl: Whatever let?s order(waiter walks in) I will have the well done steak
Waiter: Is prime ribs okay?
GSH: Hey I think I know you.Didn?t you used to work at TGI Tuesdays?
Waiter: Yeah but I got fired for making a customer get like breakdown
GSH: So he had a nervous breakdown?
Waiter: yeah he was really angry
GSH: Is aggravated okay?
Girl: Wait what is this game show called anyway
GSH: Oh this isn?t a game show it?s a reality show
Girl: what is it called?
GSH: Jersey Shore.
GSH & WAITER: FIST PUMP!!!!!!!(both start fist pumping)
Girl: I?ve had enough with this(starts to leave, stops) goddamn MTV (leaves)
GSH: (stops fist pumping) alright that?s all the time we have for today tune in tomorrow and watch me go on a date with snookie. Yes I know??? ew (resumes fist pumping)