Eddie Izzard - Easter and Christmas (02:49)
From Eddie Izzard Dress to Kill...
Quotes on Easter:
"So the Pagan religion had very big festivals, remember, on Easter and Christmas. Christian religion came along and had very big festivals, at Easter and Christmas. Jesus died on one and was born on the other. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm… Cause *cough* Jesus, I do think did exist. You know, and, uh, he, uh, was a, I think, uh, a guy who had interesting ideas in the Gandhi-type area, in the, umm, Nelson Mandela-type area. You know, relaxed and groovy. And, uh, the Romans thought, “Relaxed and groovy, nooo no no no no.” Umm, so they murdered him. And kids eat chocolate eggs, because of the color of the chocolate, and the color of the…wood on the cross.
Well, you tell me! It’s got nothing to do with it, has it! You know, people going, uhh, “Remember kids,” the kids who’re eating the chocolate eggs, uhh, “Jesus died for your sins.” “Yeah, I know, it’s great! No, no no, it’s bad, it’s bad! No, it’s bad! It’s very bad. It’s terrible! Whatever you want, I mean – just keep giving me these eggs.”
And the bunny rabbits! Where do they come into the crucifixion? There were no bunny rabbits up on the hill going, “Hey – you – what, are you going to put those crosses in our – bur – warrens? We live below this hill, all right?” Bunny rabbits are for shagging, eggs are for fertility. It’s a festival – it’s the spring festival! Christmastime, you know, Jesus, uhhh, born to a big jolly guy in a red jacket. “Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho, baby Jesus! And what would you like for Christmas?” “Peace on Earth and goodwill towards men.” “Well, what about a clockwork train?” “Oh, yes, much better. Forget – forget peace on earth, I don’t care."
in: Stand Up Comedy, Religions, Easter, Eddie Izzard