Eddie Izzard - Dress to Kill (with quotes) (1:54:08)
Eddie Izzard is a British comedian and actor.
Dress to Kill Quotes
- Squirrels always eat nuts with two hands, always two hands, "Raar-ra-ra-yum-yum-yum". And occasionally they stop and they go [gasps and looks around, wide-eyed], as if they're going, "Did I leave the gas on? No! Wait -- no, I'm a fucking squirrel!" And then occasionally, they'll go [throws nuts down] "Fucking nuts! Fed up with them, always! I long for a grapefruit."
- There's no Church of England fundamentalism. We can't have Church of England fundamentalism. You know, like they have Islamic fundamentalism. Jihad! … Ah ha … Church of England fundamentalism is impossible because you can't have: "You must have tea and cake with the vicar... or you die!"
- "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I did an original sin. I poked a badger with a spoon."
"Never heard of that one before. Five Hail Mary's and six Hello Dolly's."
"Bless me, Father, for I have slept with my next door neighbor's wife."
"Heard it! I want an original sin."
"Oh, terribly sorry."
- Two languages in one head? No one can live at that speed! Good Lord man, you're asking the impossible! "But, the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana!" Well … yes, but they're cheating! Everyone knows that marijuana is... a drug enhancement that helps you on track and field to come last ... in a team of eight million … eight million other runners who are all ... dead.
- But in Britain we don't win many gold medals at the Olympics, because we've chosen not to. It's a political statement. 'cause we hate our national anthem. Because it's "God Save the Queen" you see. God save the queen. Now, the queen lives in a very big house with barbed wire outside and people with guns in front of that. That's one saved fucking queen, I tell you.
Source: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Eddie_Izzard
in: Stand Up Comedy, Religions, Language/ Ethnicity, English: British Comedy, Random Observations, Eddie Izzard