Enter MOMMA and JIMMY dragged in by the collar of his shirt and who has a high pitched squeaky voice. The SECERTARY is a highly snotty and obnoxious gum with a New York accent.

MOMMA: Thank goodness you guys are open! I was scared to death my poor little baby was going to have to stay sick until Monday!

SECRETARY: Do you have an appointment?

MOMMA: Yes we do!

SECRETARY: Name please.

JIMMY: Mom! Let me go! It is not like I am a Rottweiler trying to bite someone.

MOMMA: Shh! Wiener (Pronounced Ween-ner).

SECRETARY: Ok miss’s (pause) Wiener (this time pronounced wine-ner)

MOMMA: Its wiener!

SECRETARY: Whatever. You are going to have to wait. The doctor will see you in a second.

MOMMA: I have to see him now!

SECRETARY: Mam I cannot help you unless you cooperate with me.

MOMMA: Fine. Sit down Jimmy!

MOMMA goes and picks a magazine off the rack and JIMMY is rocking out to his iPod SICK MAN is coughing a great deal and reading over the shoulder. MOMMA gets creeped out.

SICK MAN: So watchya’ reading there?

MOMMA: Umm its called Women’s Weekly.

SICK MAN: Ohhh…. Ah! AH! AHHH! CHU!( turns head and sneezes in JIMMY’s face)

JIMMY: Ugh!

SICK MAN: Oh! Sorry about that. You have a little thing on your um- chee- j-just lemme get it for you.

JIMMY: No. That’s quite alright I would like it if you did not touch me. (Slaps hand away from her face and wipes it with his shirt.)

SECRETARY: (To MOMMA) The doctor is ready to see you guys.

JIMMY and MOMMA: Thank God!

SICK MAN: Why don’t I get to go! I have been waiting longer.

SECERTARY: Shut up.

Blackout on the waiting room. They walk into the doctor’s office and sit down. JIMMY overtime is dancing; as time goes on he gets more into it.

DOCTOR: So what seems to be troubling you two today?

MOMMA: My poor baby Jimmy keeps singing like this 9 year old girl that he listens to on his iPod and on the radio. He can’t stop. Its driving me and my family nuts! My husband left us over this! We are in debt! We had to even put up our 17 year old daughter up for adoption! It’s not normal!

DOCTOR: Hmmm. That does seem to be odd. Let me inspect him. (Inspecting) Ms. Wiener It seems like your son among many other young people across the United States has caught the epidemic.

MOMMA: Oh no! What epidemic?

DOCTOR: I am afraid he has caught Th-

JIMMY: Like baby, baby, baby, oh I thought you'd always be mine.

DOCTOR: The Bieber Fever.

MOMMA: Oh no! He sounds like a rodent, or like some sort of a pig.

DOCTOR: One of those is a highly dirty mammal that runs around and squeals a lot, and the other is a pig.

MOMMA: Is there anything we can do?

DOCTOR: I am afraid not.

MOMMA: Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

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The author has not decided whether the script is for public, private or commercial use.