dating emma
  retweet   
alrite so i had this date today with this brilliant woman i know called emma (hopefully she doesnt read this)... so u know i do all the normal stuff u do when u get ready... put on jeans.... unfortunately for me, grandma got me women's jeans, and nothing would fit in my pockets, i had to carry my wallet around like a purse ha ha.... and unfortunately for me, the weekly washing hadnt been done, so clothes that had spent the whole week in my dirty clothes basket were needed for me to look excellent... so how do u get rid of the smell of dirty clothes? use up 2 deodarent cans and 4 other ones from ur brothers stash.... ha ha i hope i smelt good... so i was out the door and into the car to my date with emma... unfortunately i was 10 minutes late and had to fend off a nice old couple (both obviously pedophiles) to get to my woman.... and so we bought our tickets and i got a HUGE bloody slushie, that i accidentally put too much slushie in and half went on the floor, with me and emma running off in the distance (cleaner of the movies, if u read this, i truly am sorry, i was trying to make a good first impression when i didnt realise i was still adding slushie)... so we enter the cinema to find it... empty.. which is pretty much perfect when u want to really enjoy a date with ur girl... until 5 other old people walked in... and yes they were all old... so u feel like a downright idiot when u laugh at the immature jokes and they're lookin around for the person who brought a donkey into the cinema (yes, i do insult myself a lot).... so pretty much we talked throughout the whole movie... we do it all the time.. we cant go through 5 minutes without either one of us making comments... and yes we did get romantic... but im not going to go into detail cause thats like.... sexual harrasement in a way (if u dont beleive me, look it up!)... so by the end of the movie there was old people at either side of the room and us in the middle, laughing with our energy drinks.... now unfortunately her mum kept keeping tabs on her and she isnt allowed to technically date (another person who i dont want to read this blog now, who next, the old people who were actually in the cinema with US!)... so she kept sending texts saying, what r u doin now? and shes just like oh studying mother, like i always am, and then leaning back into my arms... dont worry this isnt going to suddenly get fall on dramatic with me talking about how much i love her... but emma if u r reading this... i really do love u... so anyways, where was i? old people hating us, cleaner getting S.W.A.T. to tackle us down, and her mum doing investigations of her own... and we were sitting back and... well u cant really say enjoying the movie cause half the time we didnt know what the heck was going on... actually i was staring at her hand the whole time... so if u asked me what the movie was about id just say...i wanted to touch the hand, but it was too dark... i dont know what i touched but suddenly the old man near us liked me a lot more... ha ha no that didnt happen, i was joking.... so we left the cinema and explored the many shops they had for us... like... the Fruit Shop... and the Bakery!... oh yes going to the shops can be an exciting time for some people... so then we departed on the bus back home where emma forgot to buy milk... obviously her mum cant make her own milk as shes too busy keeping tabs on emma... but that could be the next thing for women to do after knitting... instead they'll be milking themselves to feed their families... i think ive got an all new epic science fiction movie coming on... so she bought milk, and then we departed with the tightest hug u can imagine... and then she was gone... and here i am now, not able to think about us not being together... personally i think shes the one, but i also thought that u could cook a cake in a microwave.... those poor souls... they could have never survived a huge explosion like that... i just wonder if they're looking down on me from heaven... and they were the best army soldier toys i had.... anyways enough of thinking about ghosts of the pasts... so i dont know if she likes me... so im hoping she reads this and replies that she likes me or texts me or anything... actually, thinking about it, she doesnt even know about this site that i go on... ha ha thats very helpful.... also helpful that she never goes onto the internet because she has the crappest internet alive (i think thats a word, but i also thought supercalifragilisticexpialidocious was a word... Mary Poppins betrayed me that day).... so if u think about it, she might not even read this blog until shes 30 (shes 16 at the momment, pedophiles keep away)... so if u kind people who read this (and i hope someone reads this, my cat gave up listening to me... it got more fascinated by the cochroach running around)... id love for u to comment on how i should best ask out this girl of my dreams..... thank u guys for following me and reading my scripts... u've made me feel like a lucky guy... so please comment with helpful tips
cheers
RE-on


Comments


When you're a fool in love...
@ Wednesday, October 10, 2012 12:50 AM by Don McDonald


Leave a comment
(Comments by registered users will have a link to their own comedy zone profile page.)

Only registered users may post comments.

comedy